School to Spend on iPads, Laptops

Dallas, TX I Kevin Lieb

North Consolidated High School in Dallas, Texas has recently announced its budgeting plans for the 2016-2017 school year. As per the report, "18% of our annual budget will go towards Apple iPad Mini 2's, and the other 82% will go towards Apple MacBooks." The budgeting committee has decided that due to a recent emphasis on technology, the entirety of the budget should go to the least powerful, most expensive computers and tablets it could buy. With 13,383 iPad Mini 2's and 12,615 MacBooks coming in, the school should have enough tablets and laptops that were mediocre at release to last well into obsolescence.

"We wanted to make sure the technology we invested in would be completely obsolete in a matter of just a few years. We decided to jump-start the process by buying outdated iPads and the least powerful MacBooks available. Next, we made sure to order enough that we could give each student three of each device, and encourage them to carry them with them anywhere they go and use them for any purpose they can imagine to wear them out as quickly as possible," says Lauren Stockholm, the leader of the school board. "We hope to see students using the technology as improvised seats, shims for unstable desks, Frisbees, and makeshift covers for potholes in the parking lot. This is the kind of innovative use of technology we want to see, and it wears out the technology as quickly as possible. This ensures that we can be the school with the largest amount of technological spending in the nation with ease."

We decided to ask students what they thought of the new budgetary policy. James Anderson, a sophomore, said that he was "looking forward to having the slowest, worst technology on the market." Hannah Eisenbach, a current junior, expressed her delightment at the discovery that potholes wouldn't be fixed, the floors would not be waxed, and the complete lack of spending on anything that might actually help with education. "I can't wait - with six devices, I can use Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Tumblr, and Pintrest all at the same time! I won't even have to think about learning for my whole senior year!"

We share the excitement here, and look forward to seeing how the school can spend even more on technology next year.