Counselor Connection
October 2021
Bully Prevention Month
National Bullying Prevention Month (NBPM) is a campaign founded in 2006 by PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center. The campaign is held during the month of October and connects communities around the world to help prevent bullying. This past year, a worldwide pandemic and a growing movement for racial equity and social justice have highlighted the need to unite communities for a better future. It is more important than ever to join together in creating a world that is kinder, more accepting, and more inclusive.
Take action at school, at home, in your neighborhood, at a local business, or in your workplace to show that you care about kids being safe at school, online, and in the community.
Source: https://www.pacer.org/bullying/
What is bullying?
You can usually identify bullying through the following three characteristics: intent, repetition, and power. A bully intends to cause pain, either through physical harm or hurtful words or behaviour, and does so repeatedly. Boys are more likely to experience physical bullying, while girls are more likely to experience psychological bullying.
Bullying is a pattern of behaviour, rather than an isolated incident. Children who bully usually come from a perceived higher social status or position of power, such as children who are bigger, stronger, or perceived to be popular.
What should I do if my child is being bullied or threatened?
If you know your child is being bullied, there are several steps you can take to help them:
- Listen to your child openly and calmly. Focus on making them feel heard and supported, instead of trying to find the cause of the bullying or trying to solve the problem. Make sure they know that it is not their fault.
- Tell the child that you believe them; that you are glad they told you; that it is not their fault; that you will do your best to find help.
- Talk to the teacher or school. You and your child do not have to face bullying alone. Ask if your school has a bullying policy or code of conduct. This may apply for both in-person bullying and online.
- Be a support system. For your child, having a supportive parent is essential to dealing with the effects of bullying. Make sure they know they can talk to you at any time and reassure them that things will get better.
What can I do if my child is bullying others?
If you think or know that your child is bullying other children, it’s important to remember that they are not inherently bad, but may be acting out for a number of reasons. Children who bully often just want to fit in, need attention or are simply figuring out how to deal with complicated emotions. In some cases, bullies are themselves victims or witnesses to violence at home or in their community. There are several steps you should take to help your child stop bullying:
- Communicate. Understanding why your child is acting out will help you know how to help them. Are they feeling insecure at school? Are they fighting with a friend or sibling? If they are having trouble explaining their behaviour, you may choose to consult with a counsellor, social worker, or mental health professional who is trained to work with children.
- Work through healthy ways of coping. Ask your child to explain a scenario that frustrated them, and offer constructive ways of reacting. Use this exercise to brainstorm possible future scenarios and non-harmful responses. Encourage your child to “put yourself in their shoes” by imagining the experience of the person being bullied. Remind your child that comments made online still hurt in the real world.
- Examine yourself. Children who bully are often modelling what they see at home. Are they exposed to physically or emotionally harmful behaviour from you or another caregiver? Look inward and think honestly about how you are presenting to your child.
- Give consequences and opportunities to make amends. If you find out your child has been bullying, it is important to offer appropriate, non-violent consequences. This could be limiting their activities, especially those that encourage bullying (social gatherings, screen/social media time). Encourage your child to apologize to their peers and find ways for them to be more inclusive in the future.
Source: https://www.unicef.org/end-violence/how-talk-your-children-about-bullying