When you have children, divorce changes your relationship - It doesn't end it. Let's just get this hard truth out of the way now. Like an onion, it has many layers and may even make you cry at times. Having kids means a lifetime of dealing with the other parent, for better or for worse.

When they're young, there are custody and visitation exchanges, birthdays, school plays, parent/teacher conferences, sporting events...and the list goes on and on. When they're adults, there are weddings followed by grandchildren (hopefully in that order), and the cycle repeats itself. Unless one of you walks away from your children completely, you'll have to deal with each other on some level for the rest of your lives. With that being said, doesn't it make sense to keep your divorce as civil as possible?

Most people can accept dealing with their ex, but I'm going to take it a step further knowing full well that what I'm about to say may cause you to stop reading. You will have a relationship with your ex's new partner. I didn't say it would necessarily be a good one, but it sure would make your life, and your children's lives, a lot easier if it is. No one wants to go to a birthday party and get into a fight that resembles a scene from "Real Housewives." On that note, sometimes you just need to make the best of a bad situation. That's life. You can't control what other people do, but you can control your actions. It takes two to tango, so sometimes simply refusing to engage is enough to diffuse a situation.

Most importantly, having a cordial or friendly relationship with your ex sets a positive example for your children and provides them with a more comfortable, stable environment.

Sheree Surber

LDA, Contract Paralegal, Notary Public

Telephone: (559) 321-8670

Email: info@cvselfhelp.com

Address: 3919 N. Owl Perch Court, Sanger, CA 93657 (Ashlan & Greenwood)

www.cvselfhelp.com

By appointment only.

Fresno County Legal Document Assistant, Registration No.: X201110000019 and Madera County Legal Document Assistant Registration No.: 2013005, Expire 10/23/15. Central Valley Self-Help, Inc. is not a law firm. We can only provide you with self-help services at your specific direction.