Vikings Counselor Connection
Schreiber Guidance Department Newsletter December 2021
A note from the Director's Desk
Happy Holidays Schreiber!
Those of us who have had more than a few trips around the sun can remember when weeks seemed to last an eternity. But, with less than five weeks left until 2022, I know the time will fly. Think about it. 2022! During these next five weeks, many of us will have a calendar full of events. We will wait in anticipation for holiday concerts and gatherings with family and friends. Perhaps, we will also remember last year when those gatherings (if any) were small.
The feeling of anticipation is one that our seniors know all too well. While some are still busy submitting college applications, some are also awaiting their first round of decisions. News of acceptances and denials (sounds better than "rejections") has already reached some of our seniors' inboxes, leading to a range of emotions that may be new and unfamiliar to them. If you know a senior, treat them with kindness and compassion during this time. And to you, seniors, treat yourselves with kindness and compassion as your decisions come in. I've included some articles below that deal with anticipation and coping strategies for teens during the holidays. And for children of all ages, please click the link to the Elementary Guidance Newsletter for more wellness and mental health articles. I hope you'll find some time to read all of them.
Speaking of compassion, please take a minute to watch "Why be Kind?" at the end of this month's newsletter. Not only do these children deliver smiles, but they remind us of the power of kindness.
I wish you peace and good health this holiday season.
All the best,
Lorrie Director, Pre-K-12 Director of Guidance
High School Guidance Team
Counselors and email addresses
Guidance Office phone: (516) 767-5810
Office Hours: 8:00 am - 3:15 pm
Ms. Cangemi (Substitute for Mr. Gomez) email@example.com
Ms. Cerny firstname.lastname@example.org
Ms. Garcia email@example.com
Ms. Jacobson firstname.lastname@example.org
Ms. Linsner email@example.com
Mr. Lorge firstname.lastname@example.org
Ms. Ludwig email@example.com
Ms. Rafferty firstname.lastname@example.org
Ms. Strell email@example.com
Attention: Class of 2022!
- As you receive decisions from your schools, you must update your Naviance accounts. Don't be shy! This information will help future Schreiber applicants and you will remain anonymous!
- Time to file your FAFSA! Check your colleges' deadlines for filing.
- Does your college require the CSS Profile? Click here for a list of participating schools.
- Apply for scholarships! Fastweb and Scholarships.com are good places to start.
- Be sure to submit your completed College Processing Form when you have applied to your first college. Follow all instructions, and pay attention to deadlines!
- Remember to check your Portnet email!
- Join the Guidance Class of 2022 Remind to receive reminders via text message. Come to Guidance for more information.
On Site Admissions Days at Schreiber
LIU Post Onsite Visit
Mrs. Ludwig, the Long Island University liaison, coordinated the first of five Onsite Admissions Days. Eighteen Schreiber seniors were accepted on the spot, including Allyson Strobel (pictured below with LIU Representative Jaycee Schwarz). Several students were awarded substantial scholarships!We are so proud of our incredible Schreiber seniors!! Let's hear it for the class of 2022!
Class of 2023 - Junior College/Post-Secondary Planning Night
Can't make the meeting? The presentation will be posted to the Schreiber Guidance website afterwards. Click on the FLYER for meeting links and more information.
Join Your Counselor's Google Classroom!
PSAT scores are available on College Board and on your Naviance Student account. For details on your scores, see Understanding Scores from College Board. You can also watch the video below.
En Espanol - Comience Su Futuro
Passport for Good
Our Passport for Good participation is on the rise!
Passport For Good is a mobile-friendly web-based platform that simplifies, recognizes, and celebrates your engagement outside of the classroom. It allows you to journal and verify your community service, career development, and participation in extracurricular activities.
To make this transition a success, we need your help. You must first register for Passport For Good - Click the flyer below for the link and QR code to register. Once your account is activated, you are ready to begin using Passport For Good!
Some of Schreiber's clubs and groups have switched to using Passport For Good, logging their community service and career development hours directly within the platform.
Ask your Counselor if you have questions about Passport For Good.
Welcome to Methodize
Did you hear that Method Test Prep has a new name and platform? All Schreiber students have FREE access to Methodize by Method Learning. Methodize offers SAT and ACT prep courses, plus financial literacy in a comprehensive digital learning platform. Please click on the links below for more information.
Ho, Ho, Ho: Handling the Holidays in High School
The holidays are coming! Ready or not, December will be here soon, and you'll likely be spending time with family, friends, and colleagues for holiday gatherings and year-end celebrations. Catching up with others will likely include lots of comments along the lines of ... "Where did you apply?" ...
The Wait for the College Acceptance Letter
The time of year has come when high school seniors are starting to receive letters from colleges. The brief breath of relief of mailing in their final application has given way to the held breath of waiting to hear back from schools.
How to Help Teens Cope with Rejection, Including the Dreaded College Rejection Letter
Rejection is inevitable, but teens dealing with it for the first time can have trouble coping. Here's how you can help them.
Rejection comes in many forms during the teen years. Adolescents experience rejections like getting cut from a team, losing the lead role in a play to another actor, or rejection letters from colleges. These rejections can feel huge and life-altering in the moment, but adolescents also experience a wide variety of micro-rejections on any given day. Micro-rejections might include being snubbed by a friend at lunch, a peer saying no to a date, or feeling left out when perusing social media.
No matter the size of the rejection, one truth stays the same: rejection hurts. It feels like the opposite of being accepted, valued, and appreciated. In the minds of teens, rejection feels life-altering. In the case of the dreaded college rejection letter, for example, a teen might feel like the hard work of high school was wasted effort and their goals for the future can no longer be achieved. It is easy for an adult to assess the situation as a minor hindrance, just another part of life to get over and move on from. An adult might view the teen’s extreme reaction to rejection as distorted thinking, but for the teen attempting to cope with rejection, the emotional pain is very real.
While some teens go to great lengths to avoid rejection by way of playing it safe, staying within the boundaries of what they know they can achieve, and steering clear of anything considered a risk, the truth is that rejection can’t be avoided. Rejection is an uncomfortable part of life that all teens need to learn to cope with and work through as they prepare for adulthood.
Coping with rejection involves working through two very important components: What you feel, and what you think. These two things often exist in a cyclical relationship in that your feelings can affect your thoughts, and your thoughts can, in turn, affect your feelings. Ignoring either one (or both) won’t reduce the sting of rejection but separating them and targeting each one will help reduce negative emotional responses to rejection.
The good news is that you can help your child navigate their struggle of coping with rejection.
Try these tips to help your teen work through their complex feelings:
While dismissing or downplaying the rejection might feel right to a parent on a mission to protect a teen from emotional pain, it can actually intensify the pain. Rejection feels isolating and lousy, and teens already know this. What they need is empathy, understanding, and someone who will listen. They don’t need to be told that their pain doesn’t really matter, when to them it feels like the only thing that matters.
So here’s what you need to do: name it. Talk about the specifics of the rejection and encourage your teen to label the many feelings overwhelming their mind in response to the rejection. Labeling emotions is the first step toward working through them and moving beyond them. If your teen is unable (or unwilling) to take this step, label what you’re seeing. “Your girlfriend broke up with you and you’re probably feeling rejected, overwhelmed, sad, and even angry. All of these feelings are perfectly normal reactions to this.” Helping your child understand what emotions they are feeling and why, specifically, they are feeling them, will help them cope with all sorts of situation, not just rejection.
You might be tempted to yell out all of the reasons that your teen should have been accepted to that college from which they received a rejection letter or why your teen’s ex-girlfriend is making a huge mistake by breaking up, but responding in anger will only intensify your teen’s negative emotional response. Teens look to their parents for cues when they’re under stress. It’s essential to remain calm and objective in the face of rejection to show your teen that your love is unconditional and this rejection won’t actually ruin their life. Remember, your teen will pick up on the behavior that you demonstrate. To demonstrate anger at every rejection encourages a sense of entitlement and it will make coping with inevitable rejections all the more difficult.
This is the time to convey empathy and understanding. Admitting that you don’t know exactly how your teen is feeling right this very moment but that you do know what it feels like to face rejection opens the door to conversation. Teens don’t necessarily want step-by-step instructions on ways to recover from a rejection, but they do want to connect and talk through it.
Leaning on past experiences and sharing your painful memories of rejection as a teen can bridge the gap between you and your teen. While your experiences are not exactly the same as your teen’s, you can use them to talk about how you felt, how you responded, and what you did to recover.
Examine the Thought Process
When teens are stuck in a negative thought cycle, they can develop negative core beliefs. This can lead to decreased self-esteem and future risk aversion. In essence, when teens feel like they can’t succeed, they avoid trying.
Explain to your teen that we all have a negative inner critic that drives our thoughts at times. The inner critic isn’t the problem; it’s what we choose to do with those critical thoughts that matter.
Share a few thoughts that run through your mind when your inner critic is loud. Talk about how you feel as a result of those thoughts. Finally, share ways you reframe those negative thoughts to refocus on positive thinking.
Helping teens learn to accept their negative emotions, state their negative thoughts, and reframe their thinking gives them the tools to cope with future rejection and other stressful events. When we normalize the process, teens internalize these skills and are better able to use them when rejection occurs.
Rejection is inevitable, even if you, as a parent, try to avoid it for your child. Your child will face rejection, but if you help them by using these tools, and instilling them with their own coping mechanisms, they will be able to move on from rejection.