High School

The Babysitter of Teens

The happiest seven hours of your day...

Welcome to high school! Here, you will learn the proper techniques for not getting caught on your phone. Teachers will show you how to "shush" students, and how to control a rowdy class. They are equipped with skills to ignore bad behavior. Classes are scheduled at times to make sure students are ready to sleep and not pay attention. The students treat each other will respect and never judge each other, even if you've never spoken a word to them. The building is designed to promote depression and boredom. As studies show, blank walls and dark rooms are the best learning environments. The cafeteria food is amazing! The mold gives the bread a little spicy kick, the browning apples are fantastic, and the barely cooked hot dogs are to die for! The school always smells great! They pipe through the air vents a hearty mix of body odor and weed. Speaking of drugs, bring them! Even if you get caught with them you wont't get in a lot of trouble. You'll just get a couple of days in ISS, then you can just bring them again when you get out! As you can see, high school is a fantastic place to make friends and be a young adult! The real world is not like high school, so they say. We are obviously getting very well prepared.

If interested in experiencing the seven happiest hours of your life,

please see a local high school near you.