New Female Requirements at YMCA Gym

Females ONLY

Please Read:

Due to the amount of complaints by the members of the YMCA, new requirements have been made for female members. We believe that females need to look and act more athletic at our facilities. If a female violates these new rules she will be escorted out immediately. Thanks!

1) Brand name athletic clothing ONLY

In order to look more feminine at this facility women are expected to wear cute, tight fitted clothing. Please don't wear your old t-shirts and saggy shorts. It is highly recommended that you only wear Lululemon for your athletic wear (allusion).

2) You must wear makeup and have hair down

Please walk into the YMCA with your face caked in makeup. Apply eyeliner, mascara, foundation, blush, eye shadow, etc in order to look even more athletic! Also, don't forget to keep your hair down. Nothing looks more athletic than your hair all over your face when you're running (sarcasm).

3) Please keep your sweating to a minimum

This have been the biggest issue here. Sweating is disgusting and unacceptable here. If you begin to feel yourself perspiring please wipe it away with a towel. If it becomes out of control, you'll be asked to leave (hyperbole).

4) Absolutely no segregation when using workout equipment

Women must integrate with men while working out. In order for this to occur a woman must always workout next to a man (hyperbole). This will create a more focused environment for the female to get her workout done efficiently (irony).

5) Snapchatting is required (allusion)

You must take a minimum of two Snap Chat stories while working out*(hyperbole). We want to make sure all your friends know how awesome you are for working out (sarcasm). You will need to show your story to the front desk in order to leave.


*Filters are required with the snap

Apologies if this causes any inconvenience. We believe that this will create a better look for our facility and we hope you agree!