Eternal Rest Funeral Home
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This is not a time to worry, use the steps on how to plan a funeral.
Preparing for your loved one’s funeral, will give the family and friends time to come together and share memories of the deceased. Arranging a funeral can be a stressful, and emotional process. Using these simple steps to guide you.
1. Finding a funeral home in your local town that can accommodate the number of people attending, is close to the cemetery, and is within the budget allowed is important (Morrow, 2014). Contacting several funeral directors, will get you the best price, the best location, and the best staff, which will help relieve unnecessary stress. You may want to ask family and friends for a referral of a home they used before.
This link will help assist you in locating a funeral home close to your location.
Tributes.com:
http://www.tributes.com/search/funeral_homes
- The funeral home staff will obtain the death certificates, help with the obituary and submit the obituary to the local newspapers and internet (Morrow, 2014).
- Make sure to inform the funeral director of any cultural or religious preferences.
2. The family and friends of the deceased will want instructions on the family wishes for flowers and donations (Morrow, 2014). Some welcome flowers being sent and brought to the funeral, and some would rather money donations to help with the expenses. Others may request any donations go to a charity of their choice (Morrow, 2014). This information will be included in the obituary and on the web-site of the deceased.
3. If there are not final wishes put in writing for the deceased, the next step is to decide on the method of disposition of the remains. The options are buying a cemetery plot and a burial casket, buying a space in a vault or monument building. Cremation is a popular option because it is less in cost and the remains can be kept or spread in a sacred place (Morrow, 2014).
4. A funeral is to honor your loved one, so make sure the ceremony is specialized around the deceased (Morrow, 2014). Their favorite places, foods, their accomplishments, life passions, and fun memories can all be included. Happy stories of the deceased will help start the grieving process and allow people to smile and share. Also ask close family and friends to speak at the ceremony, as well as your own priest or pastor.
Important Considerations.
The Deceased and Their Wishes
Honoring the deceased with happy memories, important moments, and saying your last good-byes. At this time considering putting family feuds aside, reconnecting with estranged family or friends, and embracing forgiveness, is a way to pay your respect to the deceased.
The Family and Friends
Remembering that the family and friends of the deceased are grieving, is very important. Showing them your support, love, concern, and understanding, will be appreciated. During this time of loss, some people have a hard time coping with death. Reaching out with a listening ear can mean everything to someone that is grieving. If you know someone who is struggling with a loss, you can refer them to the help guide link below.
Support for the Grieving:
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief-loss/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm
The Guests
When considering guests at your loved ones funeral, there is a couple things to remember. During the planning of the funeral, consider travel arrangements of out of town guests, as well as, hotel, transportation, and budgets (Beinhauer Funeral Home, 2015). Having a lunchon after the service is important for the guests. This gives them time to talk, reminisce, eat and drink, and relax. Some may have long drives or flights after the service, so making sure they have time to refuel will be important to them.
When considering the food that you should serve the guests, you should think simple. If you use a restaurant, have them put three choices on a menu to pick from. If you have a luncheon at home, make finger foods, like vegetables and fruit trays, and sandwiches, or also having BBQ food is always a good idea.
Make sure to thank each guest for coming and supporting the family. Remember they are grieving too.
Considering Different Cultures. Funeral rituals can change to reflect the culture of the deceased.
Asian Funerals
In Asia, they practice Buddhism, and after death the family will read instructions to their dead, which will help guide them to a “good death and rebirth” (Huang, 2000). Their funeral rites will last 49 days, and has seven stages, which will end with the rebirth of the deceased person (Huang, 2000). They cremate their dead and the survivors will look for colored groups in the ashes, which tells them the person was good during their life.
Russian Funerals
In Russia, they practice the Orthodox religion. A bell will ring to call mourners to the funeral on the third day after the person dies (Huang, 2000). On the ninth day, after death, the soul is believed to leave the body. That ninth day another service is held in church and dinner is served. The fortieth day, the soul of the deceased will leave for another world, and another church service and dinner is held. During each service a cup of “vodka covered by a piece of black bread is left for the deceased,” as a symbol of meeting for the first time (Huang, 2000).
Native American Funerals
The Lakota is the largest group of Native Americans in the United States. They practice “Wanagi Makoce”, which is the dead “entering a neutral spirit land” (Huang, 2000). The soul is believed to exist before birth, so how one acts during life does not affect them going to heaven. They prefer to have burials because the spirit of the deceased is believed to continue to stay in the body and should not be disrupted (Huang, 2000). During the funeral the deceased possessions are given out to family and some gifts are given.
The Economic Factor of a Funeral.
Expenses of a Funeral.
Funerals can be a major expense when a loved one dies. The costs will include, the use of the “funeral home, equipment, transportation, and the casket or urn,” for your loved one (Leming & Dickinson, 2011). Funeral homes can also supply, the deceased an outfit, sign in books, thank-you cards, and religious items, like crucifixes, rosaries, etc. (Leming & Dickinson, 2011). If money is an issue, purchasing those items yourself will be less expensive.
Another major expense is the cemetery plot, mausoleum space, or an urn after cremation (Leming & Dickinson, 2011). When buying a cemetery plot, buying a headstone, to mark the spot of where the loved one is at rest, is another expense. Cremation is a less expensive way of disposition because there are less items to purchase. There are several miscellaneous items to include as an expense too. The beginning and ending grave process, like digging the hole and covering the casket, and payments to the clergy, musicians, obituary notices, and florists (Leming & Dickinson, 2011). The average funeral will cost over five thousand dollars. Preparing ahead of time can reduce the stress and hardship left for the family to take care of.
References
Beinhauer Funeral Home (2015). Four Things to Consider When Planning a Funeral
Reception. Retrieved from http://www.beinhauer.com/four-things-to-consider-when-planning-a-funeral-reception/
Help Guide (2015). Coping with Grief and Loss: Understanding the Grieving Process. Retrieved from http://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief-loss/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm
Huang J. (2000). Death: Culture Traditions. Retrieved from http://www.pbs.org/wnet/onourownterms/articles/cultural.html
Leming, M.R., & Dickinson, G.E. (2011). Understanding dying, death, & bereavement (7th ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth Cengage Learning.
Morrow A. (2014). How to Plan a Funeral or Memorial Service. Retrieved
from http://dying.about.com/od/funeralsandmemorials/ht/plan_a_funeral.htm
Tributes (2015). Funeral Homes. Retrieved from http://www.tributes.com/search/funeral_homes