Year 9 EAL Fulltime
Improving Our Comparative Writing
Starter
- Read the paragraph above.
- Talk to your partner about how successful it is as a comparative paragraph.
- Give two strengths.
- Suggest one improvement.
- Add them to the padlet wall.
Activity 1
- Which of the steps does it have?
- Which of the steps are missing?
- How could it be improved?
Extension 1
- Choose one of the paragraphs below.
- Check which steps it has.
- Check which are missing.
- Now, re-write an improved version with all of the steps included.
Example One
Example Two
Example Three
Improving our own work
Activity 2
Find your googledoc and...
- ...read through your work.
- ...check each paragraph has all of the necessary steps.
- ...make the changes you need to.
- ...complete the essay (if not already done so).
Activity 3 - Peer Assessment
Sign into movenote...
- Upload your comparative essay googledoc.
- Move to the computer on your right.
Extension 2 - 2/12/2014
- Move to next computer.
- Read the second paragraph.
- Does it include all of the steps needed?
- Make a Movenote video showing where they can improve.
- Save the video in their Movenote account.
Activity 4
- Watch the video your partner has left.
- Listen to the improvements they have suggested.
- Go back to your googledoc and make the changes you need to.
Reflection
Homework - How do you feel about today's lesson?
Complete the googleform asking you about how successful today's activities were in helping you improve your writing and how useful it was using Movenote to complete it.
Student comments on improving using feedback
Explanation of evidence.
Most common area to focus upon in future
Writing a conclusion.
Other future writing targets
Using the correct grammar and review or repeat the story again like how far I know about these book/story.
My writing style and grammar.
Punctuation, using my own words, following the steps (organisation).
I could improve my grammar, and my writing style.
Grammar and organisation.
I have to write more clearly but include more detail.
Everyone loves a graph!
Student comments on using Movenote videos to provide feedback
We can give other people/friends feedback or comments about their work and it was quite easy to use it.
I can put my face and voice.
I can shared my ideas or comment on their work easily.
Not afraid to share my ideas with friends through video.
Easy to use and fun.
We can use both computer and ipad to create video.
It is easy to make and tell others your ideas.
It can help you practice your speaking skills.
Negatives
It was quite difficult to send/share.
I can not use my Movenote in my iPad so I think we need to use laptop when we use Movenote.
Easier to use laptop.
Sometimes it takes too long to upload.
Nothing. I enjoyed it.
It takes so long to add the content.
Sometimes it can be difficult to say what we are thinking in a video.