Self Evaluation

By: Jessica Hogle

“All human beings, as we meet them, are commingled out of good and evil." -Robert Louis Stevenson, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

As suggested by Robert Louis Stevenson in The Stranger Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, we all have a bit of Hyde in us. We have good traits that we want to acknowledge and show to those around us. But, we also have bad traits that we tend to deny or have no knowledge of their presence at all.

Good Character Traits

Hardworking

This specific trait manifests itself pretty much every day of my life, more specifically Monday through Friday from August to June. School, even though I complain about it sometimes, is very important to me because I want to further my education to have the greatest possible success in the future. I work as hard as a possibly can each day in school because I know that it all works to better my future. This is not to say that I won't goof off because it does occasionally happen, but when I am assigned something, it will get done. Whether it be group assignments or homework, I will give 100% effort. However, hard work does not only show inside the walls of school. Soccer is a sport I have played my entire life. As a part of a team, you have to be hardworking in order to be there for your teammates. They count on you to do the absolute best you can and as their teammate, you can't give them anything less. Every single minute I was given on the field, I was working as hard as I could up and down the field. Nothing in life is given to you so you have to work for it and I worked to win and be successful. It may not always go as planned but I walked off the field after each game knowing that I did everything possible to come out with a win. Whatever a task may be, if I set my mind to it, nothing will stop me from accomplishing that goal. I will work as hard as humanely possible until what I need to do gets done.

Amiable

This is one trait that I take to heart and try to show every day. Personally, I see no sense in being negative or rude towards others when you have no idea how that could possibly effect their day. Being friendly, whether it be to friends, family, or complete strangers, is something that I feel should be part of everyone's every day tasks. Being friendly to others is something that my parents have instilled in me since day one. I show this off by saying hello to people in the hallways, being friendly to workers when I am out running errands, on the field supporting teammates, and more. I have been told by many that I am amiable and this means to much to me. For example, last year when the varsity took a trip to Georgetown, we were all given a sheet with each player's name on it. Next to their name we had to write down something nice about that person. When they typed up and laminated a list of all the things said about each person, all of what I said didn't make the page. Apparently I wrote too much but all the girls in that program deserve to have all these nice things said about them. They are all so hardworking, passionate, driven athletes who I admired each day. When I got my list, one of the top listed things was that I was "so nice to everyone" and "very sweet." I make an extensive effort every day to be a friendly person and knowing that I have made that impression is what drives to keep doing it.

Selfless

This character trait that I believe myself to have is one of the most important to me. Other than being friendly, I try to help out others as much as a possibly can. In fact, in the profession that I may choose, I want to be helping out others in one way or another. The reason this is so important to me is because of something my grandma told me a few years back. We were preparing for a family dinner and we had both approached a doorway at the same time. We each insisted that the other go through first, which lasted for about 30 seconds until my grandma pulled me to the side for a quick moment. She told me that she has always and would always continue to put others ahead of herself. Whether it be letting someone walking through a doorway first or dropping what she was doing to assist someone in a problem, she would help others first. She told me that when I insisted that she go through first, she couldn't have been more proud. She told me that my mother raised me right and that selflessness was something that I needed to keep for the rest of my life. My grandma is one of the sweetest, most caring people that I have ever known and hearing this from her has stuck with me. Being able to make the big of an impression on her is why I will continue to put others' needs ahead of my own and why I want my profession to be helping other people. That conversation that I had with my grandma, no matter how short it may have been, was one of the most important conversations I will be apart of and continues to affect who I am as a person.

Bad Character Traits

Indecisive

This, especially according to my mother, is one of my worst traits and she will sometimes get mad at me for it. Whether it is what to eat for dinner, what movie to see, or where to attend college, I can be the most indecisive person on the planet. This doesn't always show itself but when it does, it is bad. My answer is either "I don't know" or I will pace and get frustrated because I can't decide what to choose. The most relevant situation where this trait seeps out is my decision for college. At this moment I have two top choices for schools and have good reasons for wanting to go to each them. These top two schools are Texas Tech and Sam Houston. Both of these schools have what I want to study, other major choices in case I change my mind, a beautiful campus, close to some family, and have many opportunities to get the most out of my next four years. This is one of the hardest, yet one of the most important, decisions I will have to make and I am stuck having a battle with myself in my mind about which one to choose. It will honestly come down to which school I can get more money from but even when I figure that out, the decision will still be tough.

Rude

This specific trait is the most Hyde of them all. Not in the sense that Hyde truly was a rude person, but in the sense that it is the complete opposite of Dr. Jekyll. I pride myself in being friendly and kind towards others but sometimes, people will push me to the edge. I will not stand for people being rude to me. When I am trying to be nice to someone and they are constantly rude to me, that is where I draw the line. I am a firm believer of treating others the way you want to be treated. If someone is rude to me, I will continue to be nice to them even when they don't deserve it. However, if it continues, I will no longer by as kind or friendly. I do not like this about myself but this will happen. In fact, it happened just a few weeks ago in my aquatic science class. For a group project, my friend and I were put with this girl who we didn't really know and hadn't talked to. I was nice to her and got her started on what she needed to research for the project. Unfortunately, she did none of her work. She contributed nothing to the project. This showed in our presentation when we had to present to the class and her sections were blank. After class, we talked to the teacher which this particular girl did not like. The next day in class she came up to us and said, with an attitude might I add, "Which one of you is a liar and said I didn't do anything?" We did not lie because it showed in the presentation. We had tried to be nice to her but after her terrible work ethic and calling us liars, I would not stand to let that happen. Although my answers themselves were not rude, they way I said them was and I am not proud of it. When someone gets under my skin, sometimes I will crack. I can be a very rude person if someone acts that way towards me and it is not something I am particularly proud of.

Introvert

This is one character trait that does not show itself quite often, however when it does, it can be quite obvious. Usually, especially around friends and family, I will be outgoing and friendly. I try to be a part of the conversation and make people laugh. That is the type of person I like being and I only hope to improve upon it. Unfortunately, there have been some low points of my life and the introvert side of me will release itself. It is not known to many right away because I like being that happy person and want others to see me that way. I don't want people to see that something is wrong because I do not want to appear needy and don't want that type of attention from people. I will act like nothing is wrong when I am around others and then at home, I will break. There is one moment in my life that caused the introvert side of me to become very prominent to others around me. Only a few years ago, my parents sat my siblings and I down to tell us they were getting a divorce. This was something that I did not see coming and took very hard. I thought it was possibly my fault and though that maybe if I had done one thing differently then maybe it wouldn't have happened. I got passed that and knew it wasn't because of me, however I still was not okay with what would soon occur. There is nothing quite like seeing your dad having to pack all of his stuff into boxes and leave. For a while I was able to keep it hidden from those around me. Nobody knew it had happened because I was still happy and smiling. However, at some point, and only to those close to me, I started to slip. I couldn't have a fake smile on my face every day when on the inside I was crumbling. This was a point in my life where I wasn't my usual self. I wanted to be alone and only wanted to deal with myself. Not seeing one parent each and every day is still hard to deal with but I was able to be that happy person again. Having this trait is something I wish I didn't have, but when too many negative things start to pile up, that when it likes to show itself.

All Together

Good and Bad

Good and bad, all these traits make me who I am. All the experiences that have caused these traits, some more than others, to become prominent are what make me the type of person I am. I try each and every day to be the most upbeat, happy person possible because that is how I want to live. I want to have that constant smile on my face because I don't see any better way to live life. Something I always tell myself, and others, is "why be sad when you can be happy?" I take this to heart because being happy leads to a good life. Everyone deserves a good life and if being happy and being their for others lets that happen, then I am going to do it. However, not all of my traits are good ones and bad ones will show themselves. The days they do are not days that I am proud of but that shape my experience in life. I work to change these bad traits every day but until they disappear, they make me who I am at this moment in time.