RHS Counselors Connection
December 2017 Edition
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International Volunteer Day
Tips for overcoming holiday anxiety and stress
By R. Morgan Griffin
WebMD Feature
Reviewed by Brunilda Nazario, MD
The holidays offer plenty of reasons to be stressed out and anxious -- the gifts you haven’t wrapped, the pile of cookie exchange invites, the office parties. But for many, the biggest source of holiday stress is family -- the family dinner, the obligations, and the burden of family tradition. And if you’re fighting clinical depression, or have had depression in the past, the holiday stress can be a trigger for more serious problems. “There’s this idea that holiday gatherings with family are supposed to be joyful and stressfree,” says Ken Duckworth, MD, medical director of the National Alliance on Mental Illness. “That’s not the case. Family relationships are complicated. But that’s doesn’t mean that the solution is to skip the holidays entirely.”
First, ask yourself this: What about the holidays gets you down? Once you cut through the vague sense of dread about family gatherings and identify specific problems, you can deal with them directly. For many people, holiday stress is triggered by: Unhappy memories. Going home for the holidays naturally makes people remember old times, but for you the memories may be more bitter than sweet. “During the holidays, a lot of childhood memories come back,” says Duckworth, who is also an assistant professor at Harvard University Medical School. “You may find yourself dwelling on what was inadequate about your childhood and what was missing.” If you associate the holidays with a bad time in your life -- the loss of a loved one, a previous depression -- this time of year will naturally bring those memories back. Toxic relatives. Holidays can put you in the same room with relatives you avoid the rest of the year. People struggling with depression may face stigma, too. “Some relatives don’t really believe you’re depressed,” says Gloria Pope, director of advocacy and public policy at the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance in Chicago. “They think you’re just lazy, or that it’s all in your head. It can be really hurtful.” What’s changed. The holidays can highlight everything that’s changed in your lives -- a divorce, a death in the family, a son who’s making his first trip back home after starting college. Any of these can really unsettle a gathering and add holiday stress. What’s stayed the same. For others, it’s the monotonous sameness of family holiday gatherings that depresses them -- the same faces, the same jokes, the same food on the same china plates. Lowered defenses. During the holiday season, you’re more likely to be stressed out by obligations and errands. It’s cold and flu season and your immune system is under assault. It’s getting dark earlier each day. You’re eating worse, sleeping less, and drinking more. By the time the family gathering rolls around, you’re worn out, tense, and fragile. The holiday stress makes it harder to cope with your family than it might be at other times of the year.
Controlling Holiday Stress
Experts say that the holidays can make people feel out of control. We feel at the mercy of our relatives or steamrolled by the sheer force of family tradition. But you have a say. The key is to take some control over the holidays, instead of letting them control you. For instance, you may find the family obligations of the holidays overwhelming. You have to make the rum balls according to your grandmother’s recipe, even though you personally find them inedible. You have to go over to your aunt’s for the holiday dinner, even though she always drinks too much, makes a scene, and freaks out your kids. You have to leave a poinsettia on your grandfather’s grave, even though it’s three hours and two states away. You don’t exactly want to do any of these things. You just have to. Duckworth encourages people to stop right there. Do you really have to? “Ask yourself, ‘Why am I doing things that make me miserable?’” Duckworth tells WebMD. “Think about the reasons.” He suggests that you draw up a list of reasons why you engage in these holiday traditions, and then a list of reasons why you shouldn’t. Just making a simple pro and con list will remind you that you do have a choice.
Changing Your Outlook
The next step is to challenge some of your assumptions. If you enjoyed the holidays differently this year, what would happen? What if you didn’t go to your aunt’s for dinner? What if you didn’t bring the poinsettias to your grandfather’s grave? Your gut feeling might be: Calamity! Disaster! But get past that initial reaction. Think about what would really happen. Maybe your aunt would be annoyed. Is that really such a big deal? Could you make it up to her later with a brunch in February? Instead of trekking to your grandfather’s grave, could you honor him in a different way -- lighting a candle or saying a prayer? The key is to be conscious about what you’re doing. This holiday season, don’t unthinkingly do things the same way just because that’s how you always do them. If the old holiday traditions aren’t working, if they’re not making you happy and causing holiday stress, it’s time to do something different.
Tips for Beating Holiday Stress
Once you’ve taken a clear look at the holidays -- about what works and what doesn’t -- it’s time to make some changes. Focus on the holiday stresses that you can control. That includes making different plans and changing your responses to situations. Here are four key don’ts for the holidays.
Don’t do the same old thing. If the usual family gathering is causing holiday stress, try something else. If you’re too overwhelmed to host, discuss other possibilities with family members. Maybe a sibling could have the dinner this year.
Don’t expect miracles. If your holiday anxiety stems from a deeper history of family conflict, don’t expect that you’ll be able to resolve any big underlying issues now. Sure, it’s supposed to be a season of forgiveness and good will. But in the midst of a hectic holiday season, you can’t pin your hopes on leading family members to big emotional breakthroughs. You may be better off focusing on your own state of mind and confronting difficult issues during a less volatile time of year.
Don’t overdo it. To reduce holiday stress, you have to pace yourself. Long before the family gatherings actually happen, decide on some limits and stick to them. Stay one or two nights at your parents’ house instead of three or four. Plan to drop by the holiday party for a couple of hours instead of staying all night.
Don’t worry about how things should be. “There’s a lot of cultural pressure during the holidays,” says Duckworth. “We tend to compare ourselves with these idealized notions of perfect families and perfect holidays.” But in fact, most people have less than perfect holiday gatherings -- they have family tension, melancholy, and dry turkey too. If you have negative feelings, don’t try to deny them. Remember that there’s nothing wrong or shameful or unusual about feeling down during the holidays.
Depression During the Holidays: Getting Help
For many people battling holiday stress, changing expectations and behavior can make a big difference. But not always. David Dunner, MD, director of the Center for Anxiety and Depression in Mercer Island, Wash., says that sometimes the apparent connections between the holidays and depression may just be coincidental. “I tend to take a fairly agnostic approach toward the cause of depression because I’m never sure what it really is,” says Dunner. “Even though it might seem like that the holiday trip to Cleveland to see family is what’s making you feel down, it could have nothing to do with it.” Seasonal affective disorder (SAD), a medical condition, a drug side effect, or something else entirely could be the real culprit. Dunner also worries that some people may write off signs of serious depression as mere holiday stress. It’s unwise -- even dangerous -- to ignore depression symptoms for weeks or months in the hopes that they’ll just disappear come January. So while holiday stress may be seasonal, depression can be year-round. If your holiday anxiety seems severe or is interfering with your job or home life, talk to your doctor or to a counselor.
RaiseMe
College Corner
Ringling College of Art and Design
Ringling College of Art and Design is a private four-year accredited college located in Sarasota, Florida that was founded by Ludd M. Spivey as an art school in 1931 as a remote branch of Southern College, founded in Orlando in 1856.
Address: 2700 N Tamiami Trail, Sarasota, FL 34234
Undergraduate tuition and fees: 40,900 USD (2017)
Acceptance rate: 85.2% (2014)
Mascot: Remy the Armadillo
Graduation rate: 65.4% (2014)
Career Planning & Spotlight
JOBS FOR CREATIVE PEOPLE: CAREER ADVICE FOR CREATIVE SOULS
By Tyler Omoth
The trick to the elusive art of finding a job that allows you to express your creative side.
You are a person of passion and that passion is fed through creativity. It could be painting, writing, acting or music. For creative souls, the draw to their art is undeniable and worth investing in. There was a time when wealthy nobles would pay an artist’s room, board, and wages and let them embrace their art to their heart’s content. Sadly, artist patrons are a thing of the past.
What about the noble “starving artist?” There are those who throw themselves so fully into their art that they are homeless and don’t know how they will get their next meal. They take pride in making no compromises and pursuing their dreams to the fullest. Sometimes it works out. Most often, it’s a dead end that leaves you broke and without any real employable skills.
There is a better way and it doesn’t mean giving up on those dreams. You can be an artist and pay the rent with these jobs for creative people. In fact, by setting yourself on the right career path, you can make yourself better at your art while gaining great work experience.
Here are a few ideas on how you as a creative soul can have a rewarding career without giving up your art.
Find a career that embraces your artistic skills.
For those of you who are not driven by the limelight, you have other options available. For every artistic skill out there, you can find jobs for creative people like yourself to utilize your talents. Do some research and find one that you think you’d enjoy. Here are just a few examples of creative jobs.
Writers
Journalism – The news is always happening and with today’s online media market, there is always a call for writers. Find your favorite niche from sports to fashion and you’ll be happy.
Copywriting – Advertising requires writing. Good writing. From billboards to TV and radio ads, there is always a need for fresh ideas that are written well.
Blogging/Content Writing – Websites need good articles to draw readers and turn them into customers.
Musicians
Audio Engineer – Work with bands at live concerts or in the studio working the soundboard. It takes a great musical ear to do it right.
Instructor – Establish yourself as a private music teacher for voice or instruments. Or perhaps you can become a full-time band or choral instructor at a school.
Session Musician – Play your instrument or sing as back up for a recording artist or look into making jingles.
- Graphic Designer – Graphic design uses an artist’s eye to create anything from websites to advertisements and logos. It can be a great career for artists who also have computer skills.
- Photographer – Photographers are needed for weddings, websites, news events, and a lot more. If you like using your artist’s eye behind the lens of a camera, there are opportunities out there.
Actors
Local Theater – From stage managers to executive directors, small theaters need people to help operate them.
Sales – Really? Sales? Yes. Actors are natural show people and that’s a big part of sales. Having the ability to read your audience and react accordingly is crucial.
For the full article go to https://www.topresume.com/career-advice/jobs-for-creative-people-career-advice-for-creatives
Career Highlight- Industrial Designers
Industrial designers develop the concepts for manufactured products, such as cars, home appliances, and toys. They combine art, business, and engineering to make products that people use every day. Industrial designers consider the function, aesthetics, production costs, and usability of products when developing new product concepts.
Duties
Industrial designers typically do the following:
- Consult with clients to determine requirements for designs
- Research the various ways a particular product might be used, and who will use it
- Sketch out ideas or create renderings, which are images on paper or on a computer that provide a visual of design ideas
- Use computer software to develop virtual models of different designs
- Create physical prototypes of their designs
- Examine materials and manufacturing requirements to determine production costs
- Work with other specialists such as mechanical engineers and manufacturers to evaluate whether their design concepts will fill needs at a reasonable cost
- Evaluate product safety, appearance, and function to determine if a design is practical
- Present designs and demonstrate prototypes to clients for approval
The median annual wage for industrial designers was $67,790 in May 2016.
Job Outlook
Employment of industrial designers is projected to grow 5 percent from 2016 to 2026, about as fast as the average for all occupations. Consumer demand for new products and new product styles should sustain the demand for industrial designers.
How to Become One
A bachelor’s degree in industrial design, architecture, or engineering is usually required for entry-level industrial design jobs. Most industrial design programs include courses in drawing, computer-aided design and drafting (CADD), and three-dimensional modeling, as well as courses in business, industrial materials and processes, and manufacturing methods.
The nearest school with an Industrial Design program is Savannah College for Art and Design. Check out their program at http://www.scad.edu/academics/programs/industrial-design
Go to http://rhsschoolcounseling.weebly.com/scholarships.html for more scholarship information.
Rayonier Advanced Materials (RYAM) Scholarship- $2,500
Applicants must meet all of the following criteria:
- be a high school senior
- live in a 45 mile radius of the Jesup or Fernandina RYAM plants (St. Johns county and north or south of Savannah, GA)
- enroll in a relevant Engineering program at a qualified school (see application for the list)
To apply go to aim.applyists.net/RYAM/ Deadline to apply is January 8, 2018
National Beta Club Scholarship Program- $1,000- $15,000
12th grade students who are active National Beta members and duly registered with the national headquarters as of June 30, prior to their senior year, are eligible to apply and participate in the scholarship competition. Selection of National Beta Scholarship winners is based on a number of factors with special emphasis on academic excellence, demonstrated leadership, commendable character, school and community service, as well as National Beta Involvement. Go to http://www.betaclub.org/scholarship to apply. Deadline January 25, 2018
National Honors Society (NHS) - amounts vary
Applications are now being accepted for the 2017-18 NHS Scholarship program. To be eligible to apply, a student must be a current high school senior and a member in good standing of an active NHS chapter. Eligible members must request application procedures from their NHS adviser. Go to www.nhs.us/students/the-nhs-scholarship for more info. Deadline January 1, 2018
Eugene McDermott Scholars Program at The University of Texas at Dallas
One of the nation's most generous and selective undergraduate merit awards.Valued at more than $250,000 (out-of-state) or $150,000 (in-state), the scholarship includes tuition, stipend, study abroad and professional development funding.
McDermott Scholars have:
- Interned at Google, Amazon, JPMorgan Chase, U.S. Supreme Court, NPR, National Institutes of Health and CERN.
- Gone on to Harvard, Yale, MIT, Stanford, Johns Hopkins and Cambridge.
- Won Fulbrights, Goldwaters, NSF Fellowships, Marshalls and a Gates Cambridge.
- Worked at Microsoft, McKinsey, Texas Instruments, the White House, U.N., NASA, Cleveland Clinic and PricewaterhouseCoopers.
Deadlines: Nov. 2, 2017 (early) or Jan. 3, 2018 (final).
YMCA- Reading Tutors
Work in a small group environment or one-on-one with a kindergartener to 3rd grade student developing positive self-esteem and reading skills. Afterschool Mondays through Thursdays. Contact Clarissa Evans Y READS Program Coordinator at cevans@firstcoastymca.org or 904-336-2043
Community Hospice thrift shop is looking for teen volunteers for all aspects of their store. Volunteers must be at least 15 years old. Please contact Moira Minta, Thrift Shop Volunteer Coordinator, at mminta@communityhospice.com or call 904-998-1718 for more information.
Student Resources
SAP (Student Assistance Program) Counselor- Kim Barrera
The Student Assistance Program works with identified adolescents to screen for risk factors that may interfere with a student’s ability to positively cope with life challenges and stressors. The program consists of individual and/or group prevention activities where teens work with an SAP team member 1-4 times a month on a short term basis. SAP does not provide direct therapy services but can assist students with accessing services through Clay Behavioral Health. You can ask any of your teachers to go see Ms. Barrera in Building 5 room 554 or you can talk with your School Counselor to be referred for services.
Military Life Counselor- Atrews Bell
Mr. Bell provides a variety of services and/or referrals for students with a parent/guardian on active duty or retired military. This can include academic assistance, personal counseling, help with transitioning from school to school and much more. See your School Counselor for more details or stop by Mr. Bells office in Building 1 room 140.
Contact Us!
Pre-IB & IB Students
(904) 336- 8912
Lori.feathergill@myoneclay.net
Maria Littlejohn
Student Last Names A-E
(904) 336- 8904
Maria.littlejohn@myoneclay.net
Jackie Welch
Student Last Names F-L
(904) 336- 8903
Jacquelyn. welch@myoneclay.net
Margo Whyte
Student Last Names M-R
(904) 336-8902
Tabbatha Johns
Student Last Names S-Z
(904) 336-8906