Satirical Smore

Texting makes you live longer!

Texting = Living longer

Surprisingly, scientists in Missouri discover that teens live longer, up to 10 years, if they text on their phones while driving. Although Missouri has a law banning all texting while driving for teens, the state officials will have reconsideration for modifying this law. This new discovery will grab the world by the steering wheel and drive into a new direction!

First Findings

Lead researcher Verna Joachim released the groups findings from a research study concluded three years ago. Speaking through text, she said, "It was so surprising that the TWD (Texting While Driving) group lived longer, we wanted to be sure, that's why it took years before we released anything."

Drvng While Txtng

Many people thought texting is dangerous to do while driving a vehicle, but it is really helpful to the world. In fact there are rules you can follow to make sure you live a longer, healthier life. Here's a couple of them:

1) You have to be able to use both of your hands to text.

2) Keep your knees up close to the steering wheel, you don't want to loose control of the car.

3) Make sure you have your peripheral side vision alert at all times. Your main focus will be what you are texting.

Now that you have some type of idea as to how driving extends your life, everyone will be texting in cars from now on. There's no doubt that this will make the world a better and safer place.