Emotional & Verbal Abuse
Are you a victim?
What is emotional abuse?
Abuse, no matter what kind of it, is any behavior that is used and designed to control and descriminate another human being through the use of fear, humiliation, and verbal or physical assaults.
Emotional abuse is any kind of abuse that is emotional rather than physical. It can include anything from verbal abuse and constant criticism to more subtle tactics, such as intimidation, manipulation, and refusal to ever be pleased.
Emotional abuse is like brain washing in that it systematically wears away at the victim’s self-confidence, sense of self-worth, trust in their own perceptions, and self-concept. Whether it is done by constant berating and belittling, by intimidation, or under the guise of “guidance,” “teaching,” or “advice,” the results are similar. Eventually, the recipient of the abuse loses all sense of self and remnants of personal value. Emotional abuse cuts to the very core of a person, creating scars that may be far deeper and more lasting than physical ones
Humiliation, degradation, discounting, negating. judging, criticizing:
- making fun of people or putting them down in front of others
- Teasing people or using sarcasm to put them down
- When called out on it, the bully tries to play it down to everything being a joke or blaming the victim for being too sensitive
- Telling people their thoughts and ideals are wrong
- Dismissing, disregarding or making fun of you and your ideas/choices/ you in general
Domination, control, and shame
- correcting or chastising people
- feeling that the person needs to get permission from them to make even small decision or go to places
- Control the persons spendings
- Treating them as though you are inferior to them
- Reminding people of their shortcomings
- belittling peoples accomplishments, feeling, or even who they are as a person
Emotional distancing and the “silent treatment,” isolation, emotional abandonment or neglect:
- Use of pouting, withdrawal or withholding attention or affection
- Not wanting to meet the basic needs or using neglect or abandonment as punishment
- Playing the victim to deflect blame onto you instead of taking responsibility for their actions and attitudes
- Not noticing or caring how you feel
- Not showing empathy or asking questions to gather information
How to help a person who is being abused
Speak Up
Don't be afraid to tell them you are concerned for their safety and want to help them.
Be Sensitive
Acknowledge and try to be understanding of their feelings about their relationship -- remember, many people are in love with their abusers.
At first, they may not take your advice on what to do -- be respectful of their decision and keep being there for them.
Listen
Sometimes the most helpful thing is to just listen and be supportive.
Be There For Them
Encourage them to do things with you, other friends, and family. Get them excited to do things outside of their relationship.
Stay With Them
If they break up with the abuser, keep being supportive once they are single. Healing takes time, but hanging out with friends is a great way to move forward after a bad break-up.
Where to get help
Listed below are websites who can help you if you are stuck in an emotionally abusive situation
www.drphil.com/articles/article/21
Emotional Abuse flyer
Made and edited by Chiara N. Schimpe
Location: Frankfort, KS, United States