The Assyrian Times

Babylonian Raids, Slave for Sale, and Much More!

Say goodbye to your weekly goods Babylon!

Some Assyrian bandits have taken over a Babylonian trade route. All from just a couple Bandits! We told the Babylonians to take the goods to our empire, so they did. Unfortunately, one of them didn't listen, and we had to cut his head off.What did you do today Babylon? The stolen goods and merchants (that will be sold as slaves when the goods get here) will arrive on Monday, November 20, 123 B. C.

Slaves for Sale!

We are now selling slaves in Assyria! They could be priced from as expensive as 2 golden nuggets from as low as 4 bushels of corn! So come on down to the " The Rave For Slaves" store on 22 Street and buy your slave today!

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Whipping of Sumerian King!

Saturday, Nov. 20th 123 at 1-3pm

Next to the Ziggurat

Come on down to see the king of Sumer getting whipped! Also, if you pay 1 extra bushel of corn, you can be there to see his eyes being pulled out! Lastly, we will cut open his cheeks and put a rope through them and yank him around by his mouth!

By Lucas Abrams and Pete Perri

Interview of Ashurbanipal

We were lucky enough to get in close to the king and ask him some questions about his daily life:

Interviewer: Do you like how you live in your every day life?

Ashurbanipal: I like it a lot. I get good food and I'm the boss of everyone!

Interviewer: Do you ever have to worry about losing your money?

Ashurbanipal: Never! I can get money for doing nothing!

Interviewer: Do you think you treat your citizens well?

Ashurbanipal: I think I treat my citizens very well. But if they disobey, then there will be consequences.

Interviewer: Ok, thanks for the information

Ashurbanipal: No problem (walks away)

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The new invention of the Lamassu has been created. It has been known to scare intruders away, and it signifies that we are powerful! (photo up above)

Ashurbanipal's Musicians Releases an Amazing Song!

[Assyrian] Wilson Eshay - Kha'b Nissan

New Invention Revolutionizes Warfare Everywhere!

A new vehicle has been invented! It is called a chariot and rolls on wheels, an invention covered in the last issue. It rolls around, pulled by horses, and allows easier travel for our soldiers to rip apart everything! Go to Chariots Today to buy your chariots today!

Warfare Gallery!

Lion Heads For Sale!

In a battle with a pride of lions, we killed all the lions from the pride, so we decided to sell their heads! We selling them from 20 bushels of corn, to up to 6 gold nuggets! So come on down to "Lions For Sale", to get your lion head today!

By Lucas Abrams

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Grand Opening of Library

Friday, Nov. 15th 2013 at 9pm

Giant building by ziggurat

Ashurbanipal opened a library where all clay tablets will be kept. They are even organized by date of being written and topic.