The Zodiac Killer

I am DEFINITELY not Ted Cruz

My Presidential Campaign Slogan

A vote for me is a vote for one less conservative viewpoint out on the streets, guaranteed! I enjoy long walks on the beach in dark areas at night, and driving my dark van in lonely places early in the morning.

Chief Diplomat

Despite an allegedly questionable past, I have the persuasive abilities to seek out foreign leaders and achieve goals necessary to have a healthy relationship, or at least, an agreeable one, with other countries.

Chief Legislator

As stated above, I'm extremely persuasive and believe that I can demand congress and the house to both come to an equal and fair agreement on most bills that I believe are best for the United States