My 2014-2015 School Year

The year I hiked El Capitan mountain

Big Changes

Life going into middle school was different. My days are now filled with continuous soccer and almost no time for friends. My group of friends changed from last year - it expanded, and I have met many new people. Some of my friends that I have known for a very long time are slowly drifting away, and new people have become more closer to me. But there have also been some unpleasant changes that have occurred in the way I see myself. Recently, I have become more self conscious about my body. Constantly, when people say that I am perfect or that I am skinny, my brain rejects the idea. When people compliment me, I feel as if they are doing so just to make me feel good on purpose, or they are saying it because they feel bad. Also, I have developed the idea in my head that my legs are horrific. As I look back to my childhood, I had perfect, skinny, model-worthy legs and now, my legs are fat and ugly. I'd have to say that these mental changes are the most signifigant of all since 6th grade. Although I still am very self-conscious, I am learning to love the way I am.

How These Changes Affected Me

My continuous soccer has drastically changed my life. Many times, my friends have hung out without me. They refuse to ask me to join, because they believe that I am always busy with soccer or other things. Also, soccer is one factor of causing my legs to grow so big and muscular, but I still love the sport. The way I have viewed myself has affected me as well. It causes me more stress in my life, and very time I wear shorts, or go to the beach, I panic and instantly regret it. But sometimes, my brain gives in and I have that one second were I actually believe the compliments that I am told. On the other hand, my choice of friends has gradually made me much happier this year. Ever since my friends and I have been walking to the basketball courts, chilling, playing basketball, and listening to music, I feel much happier, and could never feel more grateful for the friends I have. They have really helped me through tough times, and I can really count on them.