Conference Follow-Up
Please remember...
- Every child is different.
- Reasonable expectations (don't suddenly expect them to dress independently one day - practice makes perfect)
- Let them know your love is unconditional, even while firmly enforcing the rules
- Most important for them to feel loved and secure.
- They do as you do, not as you say, lead by example
- Let them know how they made you feel.
7 Ways to a More Peaceful Dinner Table
Here are seven ways Montessori classrooms establish peaceful meal times and how you can replicate them at home.
1. Meet your new sous chef
Food prep is often one of the children’s favorite things to do in a Montessori classroom. This includes tasks children do independently like washing, peeling and cutting carrots as well as special activities that require adult guidance, like preparing foods to celebrate holidays or cultural events. How the child is helping isn’t really important, but getting them involved will give them a sense of pride and importance at the dinner table. This is especially helpful if your child is in a picky eating phase. The older your child, the more they’ll be able to do (and the more it will actually be helpful to you), but don’t be shy about starting them young. Some jobs for young children might include washing vegetables for a salad, stirring things and peeling and chopping fruits and vegetables with a wavy chopper (from For Small Hands). An older child could be put in charge of a simple side dish.
2. Give them a heads up
Transitions can be really hard for children. At school, there is a very predictable routine so they generally know what’s coming. While you can try to establish consistent routines at home, things are never going to be as predictable as they are at school—and that’s OK. Real life is sometimes unpredictable and that’s what makes it fun! On days when they aren’t helping to prepare the meal, giving your child a heads up that dinner will be happening in 15 minutes will allow them time to mentally prepare for the transition and finish what they’re doing. If they argue, try setting an alarm for fifteen minutes—it’s harder to argue with a clock than with mom.
3. Give a transition task
If your child is still having trouble transitioning from playing to dinner time, even with a warning, try giving them a transition task. Asking your child to do something like set the table or fill water glasses for everyone will help them naturally transition into dinner time. You may need to rearrange the kitchen a bit so your child can access what he needs, but it will be worth it when it helps him settle in at dinner time.
4. Make it special
In Montessori classes, lunchtime is just as much about the ritual as it is about food. Dinner time can be so hectic, that just getting food on the table seems almost impossible at times, but adding a few special touches can help make it feel special for everyone. You might play quiet background music during dinner, something relaxing like Bach or the Beatles. You could put some pretty flowers on the table. Even better if your child helps choose them or helps pick them from the backyard. These things are all simple and small, but together, they help make mealtime an event, rather than something to rush through to get back to playing. And remember, there’s no reason you can’t listen to Mozart and look at fresh flowers while serving mac and cheese—everyone’s busy and these little touches still help!
5. Follow through
Set meal time rules for your home and always enforce them. Don't make too many rules but follow through consistently. For a really young child, it may be that throwing food on the floor signifies the child is done. You can say something like, “When you throw your food on the floor, it makes me think you’re not hungry. Are you done?” For an older child, it may be a rule about staying seated until she’s done eating. But what if she keeps getting up and being silly? After a reminder, clear her plate. The rules only work if you follow through every time.
If you’re worried that your child legitimately didn’t get enough to eat, put her plate in the refrigerator and offer it again a little while later. Don't have too many rules but enforce them consistently.
6. Minimize distractions
It may seem like a good idea to let your child bring a toy or two to the table, but you might try a few nights without this and see how it goes. Especially for young children, eating still takes a lot of focus! Having the TV on in the background or toys at the table can simply be too much. Try telling your child that dinner is a special time to be together and he can have his toy again as soon as everyone’s done eating—then put it out of sight.
7. Get the conversation going
In the classroom, Montessori teachers sit and eat with the children, to help build a sense of community—but also to model the art of conversation. Knowing how to have a conversation is a learned skill. Waiting until someone is done speaking, replying with something relevant—children need practice and there is no better place than at the dinner table to do so. If you need help getting the conversation going, try opening the window. Most children love nature and will enjoy talking about what they see and hear outside. You could also try simple games like “Would you rather?” Or simply tell a story about your day. Children often respond with one-word answers or blank stares if you ask them what they did that day. Talking about your day can show them how to talk about theirs.
Family mealtimes are an opportunity for so many great conversations. Setting up routines and consistent expectations lets you get the mundane part out of the way so you can get on to meaningful things, like being together and making memories.
Adapted from Montessori at home: 7 ways to a more peaceful dinner table by Christina Clemer
Amazing Benefits of Nature Play
The child constructs his/her mind through active physical involvement or work -- thus, he/she should be dressed for work, play and all kinds of weather!
Playing outdoors is crucial in the physical and mental development of children. In its simplest form, playing outside is a good way for children to get their daily exercise. Outdoor play has been linked to increased self-reliance, high self-esteem, and academic performance. Improving a child’s health and well-being might be as simple as sending him or her outside to play!
We plan to take the children outside every day and it is important for them to be dressed appropriately. Of course, if it is 20 degrees then we may only be outside for 10 minutes or so. We feel the fresh cold air is good for them. We know that it often takes the students 15 minutes to get ready to be outside for 10 minutes. It is all part of the process.
Clothing and shoes should be comfortable and provide appropriate weather protection. Rain boots should be worn whenever necessary. During the cold weather, your child will need insulated boots, winter jacket, waterproof mittens/gloves and a warm hat. Long scarves could be a choking hazard and should be avoided.
To facilitate independence, self-confidence, and success, the clothing should be manageable for the child. Please be sure all items are labeled. If you would prefer to leave an extra pair of boots, raincoats, mittens, and sweaters at school, please label all items clearly.
Fostering Independence
The Coat Flip
Tag to toes,
Hands in the holes,
Over the head,
And on it goes!
Tying Shoes
Come Inside
Close it tight so we can hide
Over the mountain
And around we go
Here's my arrow
And here's my bow
Toilet Training Song
To the tune of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star"
in the potty you will be
Poopy, Poopy stinky-O
in the Potty you will go
- Make sure clothes are easily accessible. Use low shelves and low hangers. Baskets and low drawers can be useful.
- Allow access to a reasonable amount of clothing, not too many. It's unreasonable to expect a child to maintain order when there are excess clothes.
- Leave the child plenty of time to get dressed, don't rush. The child will lose confidence if rushed or if you take over the dressing while they are in progress.
- Encourage independence. You might need to leave the room so they will do as much as possible without relying on you for help. If they ask for help, do as little as possible, for example, show them the armhole, don't give up and start dressing them yourself.
- Give child-friendly options and set the child up for success. Buttons and zippers are often too difficult; elastic waists are excellent.
- If the child dresses unreasonably suggest a jumper/warmer clothing, take them outside and if necessary pack a jumper/warmer clothing if going out. Teach responsibility.
Encouraging the child to dress themselves is worth every bit of our effort. It may take longer initially but the more they do it, the quicker they will become. Self-dressing encourages the child to take care of their clothing, develop coordination, concentration, and independence. It increases body awareness and sense of self.
When it times to get dressed, and your child is ornery, send them in their pajamas. When they miss outside time because pajamas aren't warm enough they'll be more cooperative next time. If they come with shoes on the wrong feet or pants on backward like Kris Kross that is okay too!
Following (Multistep) Directions
Following instructions is a part of everyday life. It requires the child to attend to detail in spoken language, to sequence the information in the appropriate steps and to seek clarification if they have trouble remembering or recalling the information.
It is important for children to be able to follow instructions so that they can function effectively across different environments (e.g. home, school, when at the park or visiting a friend’s house).
What can be done to improve following instructions?
- Eye contact: Get the child’s visual attention before giving them an instruction.
- Single instructions: Give your child only one instruction at a time.
- Simple language: Keep language simple and direct.
- Break verbal instructions into parts: Instead of “Go and get your lunchbox and your hat and go outside,” say “Get your lunchbox.” When the child has followed that instruction, say “Now get your hat” then “OK, now you can go outside.”
- Repeat: Get your child to repeat the instruction to ensure that they have understood what they need to do (e.g., “Go and get your bag then sit at the table. What do I want you to do?’).
- ‘First/Then’: Use this concept to help the child know what order they need to complete the command (e.g., “First get your jacket, then put on your shoes”).
- Clarify: Encourage the child to ask for clarification if they forget part of the instruction or have trouble understanding what they need to do. Encourage them to ask for the command to be repeated or clarified (e.g., “Can you say that again please?”).
- Visual aids (e.g., pictures, gestures, body language and facial expression) can be used to assist the child’s comprehension and recall of the instruction.
- Visual cues can often be very useful to help the child to follow longer instructions as it provides them with something to refer back to if they are having difficulty remembering what they need to do. It also highlights the order in which they need to complete the instruction.
Below please find some activities/games that can help improve following instructions.
Simon Says
Robot Game
Drawing Games
1 - 2 - 3 Magic!
Child acts inappropriately (yells; refuses to comply)
You say, “That’s 1, “name of child”. Stop there- no more talking and say this in a calm but firm manner. Make sure you look directly at your child when you say this. When counting, wait about 5-10 seconds in between to give the child a chance to self-correct.
Child acts out again (can be different behavior)
You say, “That’s 2, “name”. Again, no more talking or showing emotion. Avoid engaging the child in an argument.
Child acts out again
You say, ‘That’s 3, take 5 ”. The child is then led to a ‘time-out’ space and given a timer with X minutes (Rule is typically one minute per year…ie. age four= four minutes). The child should be in a place that is safe but is away from any audience. If the child tries to talk or is acting out in time-out, pick your battles. Disengage and don’t pay attention to them.
When the timeout has been served
Tell the child they are all done and continue with the day. Don’t keep talking about the timeout or what led them there.
In cases where a child hits or swears, you immediately go to ‘that’s 3, take 5’.
They don’t get multiple chances to hit or swear at others. In this case, it is important to explain to the child that a specific word is not acceptable. Many kids will repeat words they hear from others but might not know the meaning of the word or its inappropriateness.
It is essential to teach the child appropriate ways to behave because if they are lacking a skill and need to be taught (i.e., How to cope when angry), they’ll continue to exhibit the inappropriate behavior because they don’t know what else to do.
Remind your child what the rule is - focusing on the behavior that is expected, thus, focusing on the positive.
Source: 1-2-3 Magic: 3-Step Discipline for Calm, Effective, and Happy Parenting by Thomas Phelan
Montessori disclaimer: Timeouts are not used in our classrooms, a child might be encouraged to regroup in the Peace Corner where a child is taken to a cozy chair and talking softly with one of the teachers to calm down before returning to work.
Removing from a group is different. If a child wants to be part of an activity and is acting up, they may be removed. They may be removed to do something else (another activity) or they may be removed to collect themselves. The difference is that the child has clear expectations given on when they can return. (Example: "You may join us when you are able to sit and not disrupt the presentation." OR "You may join us when you stop screaming.").
Removing from a group to get in control is well within the range of what should happen in the Montessori classroom. They provide the child with the opportunity to self-regulate and learn what is expected in a group environment. It also helps the child to reflect on what needs to be done to join the group, as opposed to just waiting out their time.
Montessori talked a lot about conflict resolution, especially on her talks of peace education. She also spoke a lot about children who are "misbehaving" needing purposeful work. This can be a quiet reading time in a comfortable space, an activity that engages the child, or (quite often) being a special helper to the teacher.
Help Your Child Become a Reader
- Read out loud together at least 20 minutes every day.
- Use board books for babies and younger children.
- Read the same book over and over, to build vocabulary.
- Ask your child questions as you read.
- Take your child to reading events and activities.
- Encourage your child to draw and to write.
- Get a library card and use it often.
- Ask your child’s teacher or librarian for help selecting books.
- Limit TV watching, or watch educational programs.
- Let your child see you taking pleasure in reading.
Adapted from a list published by West County Reads
Montessori Phonetics
Montessori teaches reading through phonics, the scientifically-proven method that the article finds is lacking in most schools.
We introduce the short vowels and hard consonant sounds in lowercase.
a short "a" as in "at" (later teach long "a" sound such as in "gate"- "ah" sound as in "father")
b as in "rib" -with lips closed form a line and say sound.
c "k" sound as in "cat"(later the "s" sound as in "cent")
d as in " lid"-Place tip of tongue behind upper front teeth, keeping face still, say sound.
e short sound as in "egg" (later long sound such as in "me")
f as in "if"-Put upper teeth on lower lip and release air.
g hard sound as in "big "(later introduce " j " sound as in "gem")
h as in "her" -Open mouth and blow out sound.
i short sound as in "pig" (later introduce the long sound "i" , as in "pie")
j as in "jam" -Keep jaw still and say sound.
k as in "ink"
l as in "lad" -Place bent tip of tongue under front teeth and say sound.
m as in "him" -Close lips and make sound.
n as in "tan" -Place tip of tongue against the roof of your mouth and say sound.
o short sound as in "on" (later introduce long o as in "open", then long "oo" sound, as in "to")
p as in "yap" -Close lips lightly together and say sound.
q we introduce q with the u ie "qu" and explain that u is always with q but the u doesn't say a sound when it is with q. Word sound as in "queen" (Place tongue in middle of upper plate and release breath).
r as in "brr" -Pull back tongue towards upper mouth the tongue edges to the back molars. Hold and say sound. This one is a bit difficult. We had to practice not to say "er" sound.
s as in "gas" -Place tongue behind lower teeth, bite down and say sound. (later teach the "z" sound as in "as")
t as in "bat"-Put tongue behind top teeth and release breath.
u short sound as in "up" (later long u as in "unicorn" and short oo sound as in "put")
v as in "vine" -Place upper teeth gently on lower lip and vibrate sound.
We let the children feel our lips with certain sounds, such as "v" and "f" since the sounds are easily confused.
w as in "wag"-Slightly pucker you lips, release your breath and say the sound keeping lower jaw still.
x as in "fix"-This has a ks sound (blended)
y as in "yarn" -Do the consonant first, which is always at the beginning of a word. (later introduce the "e" sounding y, such as "holly", vowel long "i" sounding y, such as "my" and the vowel short "i" sound such as "gym")
z as in "zip"- Clench teeth together and make sound.
Number Formation
- Straight line down and then you’re done. That’s the way you make a 1.
- Around and down, now out go you. That’s the way you make a 2.
- Around the tree and around the tree. That’s the way you make a 3.
- Down and across and down some more. That’s the way you make a 4.
- Five has a neck and a big belly, straight line across, he wears a hat.
- Around and back on the railroad track… 6,6,6,6.
- Straight across and down from heaven. That’s the way you make a 7.
- Make an S and then don’t wait. Go back up and make an 8.
- Make a circle, then a line. That’s the way you make a 9.
- Straight line down, then around with a grin. That’s the way you make a 10.
Calendar
21: Thanksgiving Celebration (10:15 - 11:15 am) - early dismissal
22-23: Thanksgiving Recess - School Closed
30: Pasta, Pre-K & Parents - 2nd-year student celebration (5:45 - 6:45 pm)
7: LHMS Pajama Party Fundraiser (5pm - 8pm)
14: Acorn Room Holiday Celebration (10:45am)
19: Oak Rooms Holiday Performance & Celebration (10 - 11am) - late arrival/early dismissal
20 - 31: Holiday Recess - School Closed
LHMS Oak Room Pajama Party Fundraiser
100% of proceeds from our pajama party fundraiser will go towards LHMS staff attending this year's American Montessori Society conference, "The Montessori Event" in Washington, D.C. Cash or checks made out to cash are accepted forms of payment.
Long Hill Montessori School
Email: LongHillMontessoriSchool@gmail.com
Website: www.LongHillMontessoriSchool.com
Location: 158 Central Avenue, Stirling, NJ, United States
Phone: (908) 647-1852