Three Blind Mice vs. Farmer's Wife

Rui Wu

Backstory

Three blind mice. Three blind mice.See how they run. See how they run.They all ran after the farmer's wife,Who cut off their tails with a carving knife,Did you ever see such a sight in your life,As three blind mice?
After the three blind mice lost their tails, they sued the farmer's wife for aggravated battery. The police came and arrested the farmer's wife, who was then placed on bail. The farmer bailed his wife out and told her she was summoned by subpoena to go to court the following Friday. They tried hard to scrounge up the money for a private lawyer, but was unable to do so and settled for the public defender.

The Following Friday

Judge Taylor began opening the case: "This is the case between the Three Blind Mice and the Farmer's Wife. The mice will be on the prosecution and Ms. Wife will be the defendant."

Judge Taylor began reciting the arraignment: "The three blind mice's indictment is that you, Ms. Wife, are accused of aggravated battery, a felony. The penalty is 8 years in jail. If you plea guilty, you will only receive 4 years in jail. Ms. Wife, what do you have to say?

"I plead not guilty! My husband was there as a witness! He will surely have something to say!"

"Call the farmer to the stand!"

The farmer walked up and swore his oath: "I will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."

The farmer continued his speech: "I was getting a bucket of water from the well when I saw the three mice attack my wife. I was ab-"
"You liar!" Screamed the chicken in the back. "You were collecting eggs in the hen house, no where near the stables where Ms. Wife was!"

The judge glared upon the farmer. "Well?"

"..."

"Perjury is not allowed in the courthouse. Farmer, return to your seat at once!"

The rest of the trial was a breeze for the three blind mice. The grand jury checked up on everything and verified it all. The petit jury had no argument whatsoever about the verdict. The farmer's wife is convicted of aggravated battery. The defeat was so obvious there was no point in appealing. The farmer's wife was taken up and put behind bars.