The President of Entertainment
an opportunity America has been waiting for
Look at that adorable face. That could be the next President of the United States of America. Until this guy showed up, all we had were a bunch of boring old Democrats in suits with absolutely no desire to entertain. I know, how could America ever have been so lucky to have the opportunity to vote for such a man?
For over 225 years America's public has had to suffer through 44 presidencies, each more dreary and monotonous than the last. Pass this bill, pass that bill. It's time for a change. With Donald Trump as our chief executive, who knows what could happen? Instead of wasting our time passing bills, we could nuke China, we could invade Mexico, we could build a dome over the entire Middle East - the possibilities are endless! I'm sure that Americans would rather be killed in a fiery blast of retaliation rather than be slowly murdered by the boredom of having another humdrum President.
America needs a representative that's ready to articulate his mind clearly and brutally, no matter how offensive and ridiculous it may be. With Donald Trump as our President, the whole world will be at our mercy. I don't think there's a more effective way to plant fear in the hearts of every non-American on planet Earth.