Security Guard Gone A-Wall

Local Fossil Ridge security guard on the run!

Local Ridge High School security guard Jim Jefferson is on the run for being caught in the act of littering on the school premises. He is facing up to 10 years of jail time for this crime. Yeah, us here at this news establishment are confused about this too, but we don't make the news we just report it!
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Suspect caught in the act!

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This article was written by editor J Jonah Jameson and his opinions do not necessarily reflect the ideals of this news corporation as a whole.