The Weekly Woomy

Issue 1

Cat with rare tuxedo marks makes meme reference!

For all you people that like memes or just watch South Park, you'll be surprised to know that a black and white cat with uncommon tuxedo markings on its belly has made a reference to the "You're gonna have a bad time" meme! The following image was taken in Inkopolis when this talented cat showed his funny side to Australia. And perhaps 'Murica? We'll never know. Oh well, at least USA got the Skrillex reference with DJ Octavio.
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Rare fossil of Fishbiscuit discovered!

Derp-faced archeologists that supposedly wore googly eye classes during an underground dig have found a rare fossil of a fishbiscuit's habitat! The fossil shows evidence that fishbiscuits did not live in the sea, but rather lived in a plastic container apparently named "Food Package". The container's outside depicts a happy fishbiscuit, and that's about it, according to the archeologists. They stated in an interview that the other marks on the container were too boring to look at. Thankfully, the fossil is in colour and you can see some examples here.
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Best burger in the world found!

After years of looking for a burger that instantly raised an appetite within its mentioning, one has finally been found. And his name is....
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Just kidding. His name is Portuguese Burger. His creator of an unknown name works at a restaurant named "Food Xchange". When we chewed a clone of him to death with delicious mayonnaise oozing out as if it were blood, we were instantly satisfied with the delicious, sensational taste. Food Xchange is located on Denman Avenue. Go and get a Portuguese Burger now. It tastes amazing!

Christmas Hype

Lights, presents, action. Welcome to December, the jolly month that is the last month of the year, the month this newsletter was made in, and of course, the time of the year where kids asks for PlayStations, Wii Us and everything else. Christmas. A lot of people are having fun, but some are not due to the fact that Christmas is a very over-hyped holiday. It possibly has more hype than Fallout 4! Nobody plays that? Good.


We had an interview with Jeff Robertson, a local citizen, who is definitive that he does not want to board Santa's hype train. Robertson claimed, "I understand that it's the jolly season and everyone wants to celebrate, but I find the holiday oversaturated and over-hyped. It just spoils the Christmas spirit with everyone making everyone else desperate, and then they'll be upset when they don't get what they wished."


What do you think about Christmas? Leave us a comment on the 5G Chat Space page on Google Classroom!

Quotes

"Woomemy waw wemmemmy squiwweewee!" - General Woomy


“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
Oscar Wilde


“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
Mae West


“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.”
Elbert Hubbard


If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.”
Mark Twain

Fox News gets new news anchor!

Fox McCloud has retired from doing barrel rolls and has been hired to the life of commentating things. Some of the things he commentates on are the battles he used to fight: no items, final destination. "It's an honour to accept this job, but I miss the old times, but the memes will keep me going," McCloud reports.
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Hubble Space telescope spots flying American diner!

An extraordinary sight has been spotted by the Hubble Space Telescope. An American diner has been spotted flying through the air. The sights have confirmed that nobody was inside the diner at the time. We can only assume that the owner of this diner rage quitted. Oh well, better nerf Greninja.

Are you good at coding, composing music or creating 16-bit graphics?

Then Sketchten needs you! Sketchten is currently working on an SNES version of Super Smash Bros. It would be highly appreciated if someone could help out. It's a lot of fun and there's a reward! There, we said it. If making fighting games is not your thing, you can hang out with Danny, our second-in-command and create a quiz game. The same reward is being offered! And when you join us, after obtaining your reward, you can leave Sketchten if you wish.


Your innovation starts with us. Join Sketchten today!

Please send us your suggestions!

Have you got a good story to tell? How about a nice poem? A crappy dad joke? Or even an advertisement? No problem. The Weekly Woomy is looking for people who want to share their stuff. We'd really like it if you did! Not to mention...


IT'S FREEEEEEEE!


-General Woomy

Poll: Butter or Margarine?

Here we are, the two common toast spreads that some people can't tell the difference between. It's an all-down battle. Do you prefer the better-tasting, non-eyesight-lowering spread? Or do you like the low-fat, lighter alternative? Tell us what you think on the 5G Chat Space on Google Classroom! Don't worry, if you don't like Butter or Margarine, just think of Wiswards vs Whovians. Or maybe even Waffles vs Pancakes! You decide!