Ducks

Killing machines

Why Ducks are the most epic

Ducks are the most epic bird in the universe. Nuff said. But why are Ducks the best? Cause. They just are, it's to simple of a reason they are just too epic to the extreme.

The Ducks Are Going to Kill Me

When the Ducks are chasing you, run don't waste anytime they will catch up to you and you will never ever be seen again.


Do you have bread or fish? Probably and that is one reason why they would want to destroy you or you said you hated Ducks so probably you do deserve to be destroyed.


Ducks fly the speed of light and sound so don't bother thinking you could outrun them. Ducks are the most dangerous of the animal so DONT GET TO CLOSE, unless you like being left souless, go ahead.

How to Save Yourself From The Ducks

If in an encounter with an angry Duck the best thing to do is bribe them fish and bread luckily Jesus seems to be able to make lots of bread and fish appear so bring Jesus along to if you want to survive. Finding Jesus and actually thinking he would help just you may just bring jew Ducks.


Okay admit it, you don't just bring fish and bread with you don't you? Thats ok most people don't and thats why they have been eliminated from the universe always bring a Duck Med Pack with you that includes the following for 99.9 percent of chance for surviva; Bribery: Fish, Bread, Candy and Money. First Aid; Bandages, Antidotes, Extinguisher, Dr. Hax's Computer, Crow Bar, Portal Gun. Some of these things may seem unneccesary for survival but since when did people really care about saftey? Always keep a Duck Med Pack nerby and a phone to contact the ambulance. Unless you're already dead, and if you think The Ducks should go to jail and your dead so you can't do that then what are you going to do? contact the Jesus police?