Talking To Teens About 9/11
Patriot Day
Today's teens have grown up in a world that has been forever altered because of the events of 9/11. The airport screenings and bag checks that did not exist in my childhood are now routine in theirs. It is hard to believe that today's teens remember the day through history books. They were too little (or not even born) at the time of the attacks.
Over the years, I have found that many teens have a lot of questions about September 11th. What happened? Who did it? Did you know anyone affected by it? Where were you? Will it happen again? As a parent it is hard to know what to say. Should we talk about it or not? Below are a few tips that you may find helpful when your child comes home later today.
1. Should we bring it up? Yes, do talk about it. Teens have grown up with the events of 9/11 as part of their history. It is okay to ask if they have questions. Did they discuss it at school? Are they afraid it might happen again? When you start a hard conversation like this, it lets your child know that you are interested and willing to discuss difficult topics. You can also help to alleviate their anxieties.
2. The importance of reassurance: We can't promise that nothing bad will happen to our child. What we can promise is that the adults in a child's life will work tirelessly and collaboratively to keep them safe. The most important message a parent can give following an act of violence or in the discussion of 9/11 is one of safety. With twenty-four-hour news many people feel surrounded by fears of violence or actual violent acts. Yet, adults can help children understand that there is a difference between the possibility of an act of violence and the probability that one will occur. It is important to turn off the tv and engage in a positive and fun activity as a family. Laughter, exercise, togetherness helps to "reset" the way in which we all view the world around us. Older teens have a harder time disconnecting from their social media platforms and this can create some secondary trauma as teens repeatedly view images of violence. Talk with your teen about other activities they can engage in and consider limiting their screen time and viewing of the 9/11 tragedy.
3. Service: Encourage your teen to focus on acts of kindness and service as a way to remember. Let's remember the self-sacrifice and kindness of so many on September 11th.
If you ever have questions about how to talk to your child or are concerned by your child's behavior please contact your counselor and / or social worker.