Building Resiliency
Applying Ginsburg's Work to Our Practice
What is Competence
COMPETENCE
A sense of competence is earned through actual experience. Young people become competent when they develop a set of skills that allow them to trust their judgments, make responsible choices, and face difficult situations. They acquire competence by mastering tasks they previously couldn’t have handled. Along with a strong sense of competence comes tenacity, the ability to stick with tough tasks and solve problems.
Part of the way we support our teens to develop a sense of mastery is to get out of their way. To trust our teens can handle their lives. To allow them to take chances. This is what enables them to prove to themselves they are competent. But we must watch from afar. Our job is to set guidelines that ensure they stretch within safe and moral boundaries.
HOW DO WE HELP YOUTH DEVELOP COMPETENCE?
As much as we might want to bubble wrap our teens to protect them, the better protection happens when we prepare them to develop the skill sets that will keep them safe and enable them to be successful.
These skill sets include:
- Social skills that will be used throughout life. Start with strategies that deal with peer pressure while maintaining friendships. This could include teaching them how to say no and mean it. It could also mean coming up with a code word that allows them to reach out to you to help them get out of an uncomfortable situation.
- Organizational strategies that will create both success and efficiency. These will help foster academic success today and work-life balance tomorrow. This could be as simple as keeping a calendar, setting alerts on phones and computers, keeping school books and backpacks in one place, making lists, or picking out clothes ahead of time.
- Self-advocacy skills that will enable them to let people know what they need. These skills can be earned through participation in a variety of activities or from adults mentoring them to use their voices to stand up for themselves.
- Self-care skills that will ensure long term health and well-being. These include getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods and staying active.
- Stress management skills that will prepare them to handle life’s discomfort and challenges in ways that build strength and resilience. They will need a wide range of ways to identify and address what stresses them and to manage and release their emotions in positive ways.
- Media Literacy skills that will prepare them to deal with the ever-changing world of social media and enable them to control their own opinions and self-image. (Of course our tweens and teens can teach us a thing or two about social media.) But it’s our job to emphasize safety issues they may encounter and strategies to distinguish real fact from false information.
By recognizing existing strengths within our teens, we give them the confidence to take on new adventures. This allows them to have new experiences and develop new competencies. When we believe in them, offer unwavering love, and equip them with real-world skills they will be prepared to successfully make their mark on the world.