Worst Spring Break of the Century

A Whiny Teenager's Story

Written grudgingly by Erica Mota, the best Erica

Spring break is not supposed to be spent in a car with your family. Especially not in hot, smelly, mildly death filled Mexico.

(Continued on Page 7)

Pessimist Print Newspaper

Index:

#References, pg.11

Albus Dumbledore Declines Office, pg.1

Elric Brothers Commit Taboo, pg.15

Empire State Building Suspected of Housing Olympus, pg. 9

Freddy's Pizzaria Closes Down, pg.13

Mad Scientisto Creates Microwave Time Machine, pg. 17

Scarlet Eyes on the Market, pg.3

Worst Spring Break of the Century, pg.7

Zed the Rosemeister Dead...Again, pg.5

Spring break is not supposed to be spent in a car with your family. Especially not in hot, smelly, mildly death filled Mexico.

My dad thought it would be a good idea to cram the entire six-person family into old faithful Toyota. HE WAS WRONG. We headed to Mexico first to visit my dad's family(whom had never met my younger siblings). I didn't speak a word the entire four days. Don't get me wrong, my Spanish isn't all that bad. I just hate people. My dad got plenty of relatives asking if I was mute. So that was fun. Also I discovered aliens.
Big image

^Anime person thing wearing a cat head^ Accurately describes my feelings about spring break. And life in general.

Next, instead of just heading home like any sane person would, we were off to Roswell.

We booked a hotel and hung out for a bit. Ate pizza. Swam. Watched a movie. At least, thats what the rest of my family did. I hid in the bathroom of out room and relished the availability of WiFi. Oh U.S.A., how I love you. The next day we went to a museum and found loopholes in all the alien exhibits. Also I discovered aliens.

Finally we can go ho- ok, nevermind, I guess...

So we still hung out in New Mexico for some reason. We went to White Sands and got sand all over our clothes and hair. Also in the car. It was kinda gross. Then we hung out in another hotel in Carlsbad and went to the caverns and stuff with my little bro. It was ok. The WiFi was awful though. Then we went home. Blegh. Also I AM an alien. Plot twist.