Hear Ye! Hear Ye!
The British Are Coming...And They Didn't Ask Politely!
Man Rides Horse Through Sleepy Community...Wakes Up The Lot Of Them.
"I was in my bed, sleeping, like any other decent person would be doing at 7 in the night. I was having a dream about a new way of plowing that would be easier on my back, and perhaps make my tuberculosis more agreeable. That's when I awoke so quickly that my wife awoke in the room next door. She was none too pleased to see my face at that hour." said a very troubled and worried Joobadiah Blankenship.
Authorities in a town thirteen miles away still have no suspects, and said they probably never will, as they'd never heard of Lexington, and don't do much beside poke people in the necks with sticks during the church service on Sunday.
Will you join the Patriots in the fight for independence?
As a local shoe washer, and in good standing in my community, I must bequeath all responsibility to my son Nehemiah.
Who will clean the barn while your husband is off to war?
There are worse things than foul stenches and filthy barns. This butter churning has given me carpal tunnel syndrome.
As a local magistrate, what is your responsibility to the cause?
Hmmm...I'm faced with a dilemma that I couldn't have foreseen in two millennia. Only brandy can open up the lockbox of my heart, and I'm afraid I've misplaced my favorite brandy glass.