Daily Admin Update
Day 76
Good Morning,
It is so hard to believe that it is June 1st and our last week of school.
Our plans for reopening are coming along nicely, the tour assisted us in creating systems to keep kids safe like where to have staggered drop off's, health screening areas and additional spaces for learning. As I have said before we will likely have many different school configurations for next year that range from having all students learn from home if needed to having most students attending most days of the week. We will continue to update you as we get the information needed to guide our plans.
I miss you with all of my heart and look forward to the days where we as a community can gather at our new building.
With love,
Sarah
George Floyd. Ahmaud Arbery. Breonna Taylor. What do we tell our children?
"Silence will not protect you or them," said Beverly Daniel Tatum, a psychologist and author of, Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? And Other Conversations About Race. "Avoiding the topic is not a solution."
Racism persists, experts say, because many parents avoid difficult conversations.
"One of the most important things to remember is that you may not have all the answers and that is OK," said Erlanger Turner, a clinical psychologist and assistant professor of psychology at Pepperdine University who studies mental health among racial communities.
If a child says they are afraid or angry, what do you say?
Acknowledge the child’s feelings. The parent may have similar feelings. “I know it’s upsetting to hear about and see these things happening. It upsets me too when bad things like this happen. Racism is very unfair. But it makes me feel better to know there are lots of people who want to change things." Being able to offer specific examples of community change agents would be useful. Being able to talk about what family members are doing to speak up against unfairness is especially useful. Actions always speak louder than words.
How do parents start these conversations and how does that change depending on the age of their children?
I think the first place to start a conversation around racism and police brutality is with honesty. Take ownership of your feelings and be comfortable sharing those feelings with your child. Then you can begin to allow them to share what they may already know about racial differences. I think that it is always good to allow children to share their opinion and understanding before you offer information.
For younger children conversations about racism should be limited to basic facts about how people are treated differently due to the color of their skin but also acknowledge that not everyone treats people differently based on race. For older teens, parents can consider exposure to news or social media posts as discussion points about this issue.
Regardless of the age of the child, it is important to balance acknowledging the reality of racism, or unfairness, with messages about the possibility of change, and the community of allies who are working together to make things better.
Preschool and elementary ages
"Parents who have not already, should proactively engage their kids around these distressing events," Boyd said. "Ask them what they know and what they've seen. Ask them how they are feeling. Validate their feelings and let them know what you are doing to keep them safe -- be it in your home or your community."
Parents will also need to give their children the broader societal context of racism in order to try to explain the rage of protestors filling the streets of cities across the nation, Radesky said.
By doing so, parents can help build empathy and teach perspective-taking, rather than focusing on the child's specific fears.
"Instead of focusing on questions the child may have about concrete things, ask them questions like 'How do you think those people were feeling? Do you know why they were angry? What do you do when you feel like something is unfair?' "
Tweens and teens
Of course, tweens and teens will likely be seeing all the coverage of police brutality and protests on their personal smartphones. Most teens get comfort by communicating with their friends on social media, Heard-Garris said. Some teens have even begun participating in online activism.
At this age, kids will be able to think more abstractly about racism, injustice and violent versus peaceful protest and discuss their views with parents, experts say.
"Parents can ask their tweens or teens whether they've seen anything online about the riots and protests, what they think, and what about it was upsetting or inspiring," Radesky said.
As the parent of any teenager will attest, direct questioning of teens often doesn't produce constructive responses.
"I dunno," is a typical reaction, so Radesky suggests parents also try asking about the types of unfairness kids see or feel in their everyday lives.
Parents can also make good use of movies and documentaries that can educate older teens on the history of discrimination. Common Sense Media has lists of movies that discuss racism or inspire kids to "change the world" which can be used to jump start conversations about racism and how they can help fight it, Radesky said.
"You don't need to preach to children about what is 'right' or 'wrong,'" she said. "It's better to have a conversation where they come to their own understanding and can see things in a larger social context."
Kira Banks, a clinical psychologist whose website "Raising Equity" provides free videos and resources on how parents can fight racism and cultivate an open mind in themselves and their kids, suggests parents watch movies like "13th," a powerful look at institutional racism in the justice system that premiered in 2016 to a standing ovation at the New York Film Festival.
"Is this a teachable moment? Absolutely. It must be, it has to be," Banks said. "And if a person hasn't done the work to understand the history of racism and discrimination in America they should do so, and then join us in raising our children to see and disrupt racism, and be the change we want to see."
Peaceful protests give way to weekend violence
Gov. Gavin Newsom proclaimed Los Angeles to be in a state of emergency shortly before midnight Saturday, deploying members of the National Guard to help the county respond to arson, looting, vandalism and violent clashes between protesters and police.
As peaceful daytime protests gave way to violent night disruptions across California over the weekend, urban centers like Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Jose, Beverly Hills and Santa Monica instituted curfews — some starting as early as 1 p.m. and others lasting indefinitely. Nevertheless, protests — some violent — continued in a number of cities on Sunday night.
- Newsom in a Saturday statement: “There are indications that violent actors may be attempting to use these protests for their own agendas. To those who seek to exploit Californians’ pain to sow chaos and destruction, you are not welcome.”
The extent of the damage incurred on Saturday night — both fiscal and personal — is unclear but clearly staggering. A federal officer was shot and killed in Oakland. Protestors and police were injured. One San Francisco jeweler whose business was looted said, “I can’t put a dollar estimate on it. My wife is devastated. She’s been here since 1991. She built this over almost 30 years.”
Sunday saw community members and leaders gather in cities across the state to clean up broken glass, scrub away graffiti, fix broken doors and support business owners facing hundreds of thousands of dollars in damage and stolen merchandise on top of losses incurred by the coronavirus pandemic.
- Noel Jones, a Jamaican-American Pentecostal bishop at Los Angeles’ City of Refuge Church: “This is an all-too familiar experience, and our suffering is real. But violence is not the solution. Coming across the aisle of our separation and the paradoxes that create the problems that fuel these types of outbursts, that is the remedy that we have to find that sustains peace.”
- CalMatters