Renewal Church Women's Fall Group

Join us every Wednesday from 7pm-9pm at Basecamp!

This will be an 11 week study

Group will meet from Wednesday September 28th- Wednesday December 6th.

WEEK 4 October 19th Study Guide

This week we’re going to look at how boundaries develop. Proverbs 22:6 may be a familiar verse. How have you traditionally interpreted this verse? How do the authors say it is often misunderstood?


How do they describe “good parenting” on page 65?


If we are to develop appropriate boundaries, what is essential? (page 66)


Explain why it is so important to build solid attachments with our parents.


On pages 65-76, the authors list 5 stages to developing healthy boundaries. List and briefly describe them here:


1.

2.

3.

4.

5.


The authors list seven ways boundaries can be disrupted. Describe them briefly, and consider which ones have caused you the most problems:


1. Withdrawal

2. Hostility

3. Overcontrol

4. Lack of limits

5. Inconsistency

6. Trauma

7. Character traits

8. Our own sinfulness


Any time we have conversations about “what went wrong,” there can be some attempt to place blame. Parents often take the brunt of the blame! As you think about how boundaries developed in your life, you may consider things you wish your parents had done differently. If you are a parent, you may wish you had done things differently. As we work through this discussion, it will be important to find a balance between understanding how things happened, versus blaming others (or yourself) for the way things are. Take a moment to pray that God would help you discern the difference.


The bottom line is that NONE of us had perfect parents or a perfect upbringing, and NONE of us have given our own children (if we have them) a perfect upbringing. Romans 3:23 is clear: “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God…” Despite our past experiences or behavior, as adults, we MUST decide to take responsibility for our present and our future. We must choose to allow God to reveal areas of sin in our lives and submit ourselves to His perfect will.


The following Proverbs address boundary problems. Consider where they fit into any of the above eight categories.

Proverbs 15:21 ..........Proverbs 19:3 ............Proverbs 12:15 .............Proverbs 15:5

Proverbs 16:22.......... Proverbs 14:1............ Proverbs 14:16 .............Proverbs 18:2

Proverbs 22:15.......... Proverbs 17:24 ..........Proverbs 17:6 ...............Proverbs 28:26

Proverbs 13:16 ..........Proverbs 18:13


Here are three other verses that address these boundary problems: James 1:6 Isaiah 61:1 Hebrews 12:10-11 What can you take away from these scriptures?


A prayer for Boundaries


Father, it can be painful, to look at my past and discover where I failed, or where others failed me. Help me to discern the difference between placing blame and growing in understanding. As I continue on the journey to develop healthier boundaries, fill me with the wisdom of your teaching. Deepen my insight. Help me to bravely address the problem areas in my life and look to you for ways to overcome them. As I consider the impact my parents had on me for the good and the bad, give me a heart of wisdom. Flood me with a forgiving spirit and help me extend to them the same grace I would want my own children to extend to me. Thank you Lord, for the work you are doing in my life. Amen.