Reasons To Live

My Top 5

Letter to Self

Dear Aubrey (*cough cough* me),

You’ve just read a book where these boys got in a car accident after drinking and driving. One of the boys, Rob, died and the driver, Andy, feels like he should been the one that died, not Rob. At the end of the book, all of the emotions that Andy is feeling gets to him. While he is home alone, his dad’s shotgun in hand, he shoots himself in the head. This book really hit me hard, but I know suicide is not an option for me because I have way to many things that are important to me:

1. My Father (Pathos)

My father passed away in 2007. He left my brother, my mother, the rest of his family, and I, his oldest kid and only daughter. If I were to commit suicide, I would leave my mother and brother by themselves. I can’t do that. I have to be here to take care of my brother. I have to be here to take care of my mother, to help her take care of the other two kids. I can’t leave them. It would cause so much pain to my mother, and I could bare leaving her like that.

2. Guard (Ethos)

Winter Guard / Marching Band is my life. I started my guard career in 7th grade. It was the smartest decision I have ever made. Guard has helped me with my shyness (still kind of shy, but not as much). It is where I met my hilarious friends/guard family. I consider all of them my sisters. Also, guard is where I met my amazing boyfriend. I’m so glad I met him.

3. My Boyfriend (Pathos)

I have been going through some tough things for the past couple of months, and my boyfriend has helped me so much. It was like my life was this dark tunnel, and he was the light at the end of it. I was swimming in this dark pool of stickiness and I was slowly starting to sink. All of a sudden, he shows up and saves me. Every time I start to drown in my sea of problems, he's there to pull me out, and I am so thankful for that.

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4. High School (Logos) (Pathos)

I am a freshman in high school. I am so close to college, I can almost reach out and touch it. So close!! I can’t give up now. I haven’t had a bad grade since 7th grade, and that was in Science (my worst subject). I have A’s and B’s right now. I can’t give that up. I’m a freshman and I already have a full ride to whatever college in Indiana that I want. That doesn’t even count the other scholarships that I might get. I pretty much have all of my college payed for. I’m way, way too far to give up now. Suicide is not an option!!!!

5. My Future (Logos) (Pathos)

I have people tell me all the time that I have a very bright future ahead of me. I’m part of a wonderful family. I have a full ride to college. I will soon have a job and license. I can’t let all of that go. That’s a waste of time, a waste of money, and a waste of love. I don’t want all that waste. Plus, I plan on getting married and starting a family of my own when I get older.

Suicide Is Not An Option!!

I have so much that means a lot to me, but these are my top five. If I were to end my own life, it would affect these things and the life of my family and the lives of my friends. What if someone were to do the same thing? My mom? My brothers or sister? My friends? I can’t let that happen. I am going to live my life to the fullest.

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