Q: Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?
A: Because it had more cents.
Q: Why was the math book sad?
A: Because it had too many problems.
Q: What kind of meals do math teachers eat?
A: Square meals!
Q: Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus 4?
A: Class: At once!
Q: Why didn't the two 4's want any dinner?
A: Because they already 8!
Q: What is a math teacher's favorite sum?
Q: What is a butterfly's favorite subject at school?
Q: What do you get when you divide the circumference of a Jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi!
Q: What did zero say to the number eight?
A: Nice belt.
Q: Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?
A: Student: You told me not to use tables.
Q: Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A: Because his class was so bright!
Q: Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?
A: She couldn't control her pupils!
Q: Teacher: Didn't I tell you to stand at the end of the line?
A: Student: I tried but there was someone already there!
Q: How is an English teacher like a judge?
A: They both give out sentences.
Q: Teacher: You missed school yesterday, didn't you?
A: Student: Not really.
Q: Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A: To test the water.
Q: Teacher: If I had 6 oranges in one hand and 7 apples in the other, what would I have?
A: Student: Big hands!
Q: Teacher: If you got $20 from 5 people, what you get?
A: Student: A new bike.
Q: Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at John's exam?
A: Student: I hope you didn't either.
Q: Teacher: What is the shortest month?
A: Student: May, it only has three letters.
Q: Teacher: Answer my question at once. What is 7 plus 2?
A: Student: At once!
Q: Why did closing her eyes remind the teacher of her classroom?
A: Because there were no pupils to see.
Q: Why did the teacher turn the lights on?
A: Because her class was so dim.
Q: What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A: Pick them up and roll them back
Q: What did the ghost teacher say to the class?
A: Look at the board and I will go through it again.
Q: Why did the teacher write on the window? A: Because she wanted the lesson to be very clear!
Q: What has 5 eyes and is lying on the water?
A: The Mississippi River
Q: Where do the pianists go for vacation?
A: Florida Keys
Q: What is the smartest state?
A: Alabama, it has four A's and one B.
Q: What stays in the corner, but travels around the world?
A: A stamp!
Q: Where to pencils come from?
Q: What are the Great Plains?
A: The 747, Concorde and F-16!
Q: Teacher: Where is the Engish Channel?
A: Student: I don't know, my TV doesn't pick it up!
Q: What is the capital of Alaska?
A: Come on, Juneau this one!
Q: What rock group has four men that don't sing?
A: Mount Rushmore!
Q: What city cheats at exams?
Q: What is the capital of Washington?
A: The W!
Q: What did Delaware?
A: Her New Jersey!
Q: What is the fastest country in the world?
Q: Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea?
A: Student: I didn't even know it was sick!
Q: What did the spider do on the computer?
A: Made a website!
Q: What did the computer do at lunchtime?
A: Had a byte!
Q: What does a baby computer call his father?
Q: Why did the computer keep sneezing?
A: It had a virus!
Q: What is a computer virus?
A: A terminal illness!
Q: Why was the computer cold?
A: It left it's Windows open!
Q: Why was there a bug in the computer?
A: Because it was looking for a byte to eat?
Q: Why did the computer squeak?
A: Because someone stepped on it's mouse!
Q: What do you get when you cross a computer and a life guard?
A: A screensaver!
Q: Where do all the cool mice live?
A: In their mousepads
Q: What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant?
A: Lots of memory!