Week 17: What made you cry?
Hide your sinks, hide your b tubes
- Gold medal: Britt, for having the distinct pleasure of listening to the 3:30am Pete-Catboi Symphony of Puke as they went from room to room, filling up any sink or toilet they could find.
- Silver medal: Anyone who owns Jello stock
- Bronze medal: Ged - for waking up at 4:45am the next morning to get a 5:30am physical in Sac
I suppose this is what happens when you polish off 130 jello shots between four people.
Olympics best. Russia best.
Lines of the Night
Tuesday: CatPasey: 7g, 7a, +14, 4pim, 3ppp, 23sog, 26fw, 8hit, 10blk, 3.00gaa, 26sv, .897sv%
Wednesday: Joan Smoothers: 1g, 2a, -3, 2pim, 2ppp, 16sog, 15fw, 6hit, 6blk
Thursday: The Cat's Meow: 5g, 7a, -1, 8pim, 2ppp, 34sog, 49fw, 16hit, 1blk
Friday: Hot Ice Beast: 1g, 4a, +4, 6pim, 1ppp, 22sog, 32fw, 18hit, 6blk, 4.04gaa, 30sv, .882sv%
Saturday: Dangleberry Droplets: 3g, 10a, +6, 4pim, 4ppp, 21sog, 10fw, 10hit, 10blk
Sunday: Zamboners: 4g, 8a, 8pim, 6ppp, 20sog, 17fw, 6hit, 10blk
Week 17 Matchups
Shut up Brian (Smoothers 9, ELBOWs 4):
First of all, Nathan McKinnon can eat a penis, that corn fed piece of hillbilly shit. Also from the Of Course Department, Nazem Kadri reemerges to caper my black ass with 3g and 4a. Brian has apparently opted for the cash cow strategy with Price, and has halted all goalie streaming. I suppose that works when you can match bitches shutout for shutout. With the win Brian now sits atop the leaderboard but the ELBOWs are obvi coming for those tuts. CAW!!
Ryan is still cuter ;) (Zamz 10, Droplets 1):
South Shore wins again (Beast 6, Pewp 6):
Btw, thanks again for the invite to Tahoe, Chris. I mean Mike.
Just one more bet (Meowzerz 10, Power 2):
However, Matt has finally steered his way out of the asteroid field that was his last six weeks. A very strong showing across the board was the only silver lining to Matt's weekend, except of course for the technicolor stomach sprinkler that sprayed twice-fermented wine all over the b room walls. Why u no add pisspee? Puuuussssiiiieeeessss.
Lulz (Pasey 12, SHARP 0):
You are correct, Austin - two hard laps, then supermans, then hit the Hot Box, then....LINE CHANGE!!!! (*blow the whistle woo WOO*). Our first ever Hot Ice shutout, while not a perfecto, goes to Pat, in stunning fashion. Pat dominated pretty much every category except for the goalie stats, and even got the shutout. If it weren't for that lucky little troll Austin getting the Fleury shutout, we would be looking at our first Hot Ice Clean Sweep. Pretty much everyone pitched into the PIM category for Pat, and his goals and assists led the league (except for Ryan's 29a, daem).
Congratulations to Pat, for not being so dumb for once.
Week 17 Awards
Goalies Best: Zamboners, CatPasey
Bieber Fever: Zamboners
Wah: Dangleberry Droplets
Domesticated: Definitely going to Hot Ice Beast, for opting out of Sunday Funday in favor of sitting on his couch high on Vicodin with his wife - who was on her period. Excellent life choices.
Week 18 Predictions
Smooth Dangles: If Ryan can pull this off I will totes finger him. However, he totes won't cuz he's totes a pussy ;) Joan 9, Dangles 4
Beast Boners: Who will Charlie stream for the win this week? Scott Hannon? Josh Bailey? Only Charlie and his fanamee diving rod (his penis) know. Zamz 7, Beast 5
NeonDion MeowMachine: Mmmm Britt's favorite Late Nite duo squares off this week for seksi lust moment gasolina. Maybe put some shot bets on this, mm? Maybe redeem them at G Street this coming Sunday, then take the party back to Matt's place?? Enemies become phrenz, phrenz become enem33z? Mm???? I look forward to reading it. Pewp 8, Meows 4
LamorneusNADO: Austin better hope he can surrender that win if he wants to stay playoff relevant. If not....Cal Train passengers beware. 'NADOs 7, Power 5
If I don't die during the Skrillex concert on Friday, then fuck you.