Are You Prepared?
A parenting guide
The Wrong Reasons for Having a Child
- To make your own parents happy.
- Pressure from your partner.
- You believe you are getting to old and want a child because time is running out for the opportunity.
- To avoid loneliness.
- To save a failing relationship.
- To fill an emotional void and to have someone to love you.
- To get your partner to commit in the relationship.
Being a parent is a life- long commitment, so it is obvious an extremely difficult decision for one to make as it will alter your life to a huge extent. For this reason it is important to have a child not only at the right time but for the right reasons. Choose to decide to have children because you want to love them and not because of your family’s and your society’s pressures. In other words, do not let outside pressures influence your decisions, as having a child should be a collective agreement between you and your partner. There are many wrong reasons for having a child and it is important to avoid these because it can result in resentment and regret no matter how much you love your child.
Signs of Readiness to Become a Parent
- You are financial stable and acquire the money to raise a child
- The desire to have and raise a child shows that one is ready to be a parent
- Personal responsibility shows that one is ready to have a child
- Having a committed partnership where both collectively agree on having a child
- The love of children shows that one is ready to have one of their own
Deciding to be a parent is a very difficult decision. Parenthood is a serious job and a journey that requires a lot of thought and planning. Ultimately, a parent plays a huge role for child and if one is not ready they could possibly jeopardize their child’s life. It is important for those planning to become parents to assess their circumstance to ensure that they are up for this lifelong important commitment.
Skills Needed To Become a Parent
One of the most important life skills is communication skills. Communication refers to the transfer of information from one person to a next. Communication can be in both a verbal or non-verbal form. Being that parents are the first people that a child comes in contact with, they are responsible for the socialization of that child. They must teach their offspring’s behavioral patterns, and how to adapt, as well as how act appropriately in society and in group settings. In order to do this the parent must obtain strong communication skills themselves. The must show their child how to speak and be spoken to however, remembering to respect and encourage their child uniqueness. Parents need to be able to listen to their child and explain and respond with clarity.
Patience holds great value in life and especially when dealing with children. In order to be a successful parent, it is important to have a high patience level. In certain situations, children may simply not understand what their parents are asking of them or what is viewed as acceptable behaviors. It is also very important for parents to teach their child that patience is a virtue. In order for children to function in the world they must grasp that they must work for things in order to receive and that everything takes time. This lesson can be taught through playing games that require taking turns.
It is very important for a parent to know how to properly discipline their child. Often times, children tend to test their boundaries and it is very important for parents to know to properly and effectively respond to these behaviors. It is important for parents to show their child the consequence of certain actions and this would help their child function better in society.
Being a parent is a full-time job in itself. It is important for parents to be able to balance all their endless duties. Parents have to learn to play many roles including doctor, nurse, life coach, and teacher. Parents have many jobs to perform throughout the day, and in order to be a successful parent, they must be able to manage all their duties.
There are 3 main styles of parenting according to parenting expert, Barbra Coloroso. They are:
- Authoritarian (Brick wall)
- Permissive (Jelly Fish)
- Authoritative (Back bone)
Authoritarian (Brick Bone)
With all the aspects of family life, those with a authoritarian parenting style impose a strict rigid structure, much like a brick wall. These parents have complete control over all family decisions, enforcing orders and rules with fear and punishment. This type of parenting leaves the child with little to no say and opportunity to participate because they are taught what to think. This would likely result in them being either very obedient and fearful or rebellious.
Permissive (Jelly Fish)
The permissive parenting style is also known as jelly fish because much like this parenting style, a jelly fish is shapeless and without structure. Permissive parents can either be indifferent, meaning they do not care what their children does, or they can be permissive, meaning they let their child do whatever they want to do. These types of parents often face struggles when setting limits or rules, so, their children tend to lack respect and responsibility. Children raised by authoritarian parents often turn out being permissive parents themselves. This is because they do want their children growing up with the same strict circumstances that they grew up in because they know firsthand how it feels.
The authoritative parenting style is also referred to as the Backbone because while it is strong it can bend and this parenting style gives a strong family structure with flexibility. This parenting style is very democratic based, where the family rules are based on what matters most to the family. The expectations of the children are very fair and realistic. Children raised in these circumstances are taught how to respect because of the respect that they receive from their parents. Often times, mistakes that are made are viewed as valuable lessons learned and not as a gateway for punishment and fear. The elements of the backbone parenting style would likely create a good home environment, where the children can comfortably prosper.
Parenting Is a Life Long Commitment For Which People Need To Be Prepared For
Whether a child is one or one hundred and one, a parent should be there to assist them through their walk of life. As families progress through their different life cycles, the role that parents play must evolve in order to help their child deal with their needs in life. The parental nurturing begins with providing the basic necessities of life when the child is young and as they age the parent is then responsible to play the role of support for their child. As you child progresses into adult hood, parents should expect to be there to guide them through marriage, divorce, retirement, important milestones and all sorts of grief. When you child is 20 they may ask you to let them live with you until they become finically stable after college and when you child is 40 they may need someone to talk to about their failing marriage. It is needless to say, a parent’s responsibility for their child basically never ends which is why one must be 100% sure that they are up to the lifelong commitment of not only being a child’s provider of life, but their support system as well.