RHS Counselors Connection
November 2018 Edition
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Thankfulness- Not Just for November
7 Scientifically Proven Benefits Of Gratitude That Will Motivate You To Give Thanks Year-Round
It’s that time of year where many people begin thinking about everything they have to be thankful for. Although it’s nice to count your blessings on Thanksgiving, being thankful throughout the year could have tremendous benefits on your quality of life.
In fact, gratitude may be one of the most overlooked tools that we all have access to every day. Cultivating gratitude doesn’t cost any money and it certainly doesn’t take much time, but the benefits are enormous. Research reveals gratitude can have these seven benefits:
1. Gratitude opens the door to more relationships. Not only does saying “thank you” constitute good manners, but showing appreciation can help you win new friends, according to a 2014 study published in Emotion. The study found that thanking a new acquaintance makes them more likely to seek an ongoing relationship. So whether you thank a stranger for holding the door or you send a quick thank-you note to that co-worker who helped you with a project, acknowledging other people’s contributions can lead to new opportunities.
2. Gratitude improves physical health. Grateful people experience fewer aches and pains and they report feeling healthier than other people, according to a 2012 study published in Personality and Individual Differences. Not surprisingly, grateful people are also more likely to take care of their health. They exercise more often and are more likely to attend regular check-ups with their doctors, which is likely to contribute to further longevity.
3. Gratitude improves psychological health. Gratitude reduces a multitude of toxic emotions, ranging from envy and resentment to frustration and regret. Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D., a leading gratitude researcher, has conducted multiple studies on the link between gratitude and well-being. His research confirms that gratitude effectively increases happiness and reduces depression.
4. Gratitude enhances empathy and reduces aggression. Grateful people are more likely to behave in a prosocial manner, even when others behave less kind, according to a 2012 study by the University of Kentucky. Study participants who ranked higher on gratitude scales were less likely to retaliate against others, even when given negative feedback. They experienced more sensitivity and empathy toward other people and a decreased desire to seek revenge.
5. Grateful people sleep better. Writing in a gratitude journal improves sleep, according to a 2011 study published in Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being. Spend just 15 minutes jotting down a few grateful sentiments before bed, and you may sleep better and longer.
6. Gratitude improves self-esteem. A 2014 study published in the Journal of Applied Sport Psychology found that gratitude increased athlete’s self-esteem, which is an essential component to optimal performance. Other studies have shown that gratitude reduces social comparisons. Rather than becoming resentful toward people who have more money or better jobs – which is a major factor in reduced self-esteem- grateful people are able to appreciate other people’s accomplishments.
7. Gratitude increases mental strength. For years, research has shown gratitude not only reduces stress, but it may also play a major role in overcoming trauma. A 2006 study published in Behavior Research and Therapy found that Vietnam War Veterans with higher levels of gratitude experienced lower rates of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. A 2003 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that gratitude was a major contributor to resilience following the terrorist attacks on September 11. Recognizing all you have to be thankful for – even during the worst times of your life – fosters resilience.
We all have the ability and opportunity to cultivate gratitude. Simply take a few moments to focus on all that you have – rather than complain about all the things you think you deserve.
Click Here to view the full article
Parent Warning!!!!- Be on the Lookout
Vaping, Juuls, e-cigs, etc
E-cigarette use among youth and young adults has become a public health concern. In 2014, current use of e-cigarettes by young adults 18-24 years of age surpassed that of adults 25 years of age and older.
- Among young adults 18-24 years of age, e-cigarette use more than doubled from 2013 to 2014. As of 2014, more than one-third of young adults had tried e-cigarettes.
- The most recent data available show that the prevalence of past 30-day use of e-cigarettes was 13.6% among young adults (2014) and 16.0% among high school students (2015).
- The most recent data available show that the prevalence of past 30-day use of e-cigarettes is similar among middle school students (5.3%) and adults 25 years of age and older (5.7%).
- Among young adults, e-cigarette use is higher among males, whites and Hispanics, and those with less education.
E-cigarette aerosol is not harmless. It can contain harmful and potentially harmful constituents including nicotine. Nicotine exposure during adolescence can cause addiction and can harm the developing adolescent brain.
- The constituents of e-cigarette liquids can include solvents, flavorants, and toxicants.
- The aerosol created by e-cigarettes can contain ingredients that are harmful and potentially harmful to the public’s health, including: nicotine; ultrafine particles; flavorings such as diacetyl, a chemical linked to serious lung disease; volatile organic compounds such as benzene, which is found in car exhaust; and heavy metals, such as nickel, tin, and lead.
Click here to view the Surgeon General's Parent Fact Sheet
Positive Panther Project
Empathy, Compassion, & Forgiveness
Developing Empathy & Compassion
Empathy is the ability to not only detect what others feel but also to experience that emotion yourself. Empathy and sympathy are very close and are sometimes used as synonyms. The easiest way to separate them is to remember that empathy is about feelings whilst sympathy is about actions. Thus you may empathize with another person and then act on this by telling them how sorry or happy you feel for them. Empathetic people are often very sympathetic - they can hardly stop themselves as they really do feel for the other person.
CLICK HERE for a great article that details the research behind empathy and compassion in teenagers.
Benefits of Developing Empathy
- Empathy connects people together
When you empathize with me, my sense of identity is connected to yours. As a result, I feel greater in some way and less alone. I may well, as a result, also start to empathize more with you. In a therapeutic situation, having someone else really understand how you feel can be a blessed relief, as people with emotional problems often feel very much alone in their different-ness from other people. The non-judgmental quality can also be very welcome.
- Empathy heals
Therapeutically, it can be a very healing experience for someone to empathize with you. When someone effectively says 'I care for you', it also says 'I can do that, I can care for myself.'
- Empathy builds trust
Empathy displayed can be surprising and confusing. When not expected, it can initially cause suspicion, but when sustained it is difficult not to appreciate the concern. Empathy thus quickly leads to trust.
- Empathy closes the loop
Consider what would happens if you had no idea what the other person felt about your communications to them. You might say something, they hated it, and you continued as if they understood and agreed. Not much persuasion happening there!
The more you can empathize, the more you can get immediate feedback on what they are experiencing of your communications with them. And as a consequence, you can change what you are saying and doing to get them to feel what you want them to feel.
Helping Young Adults Develop Empathy
- Discuss current events with your children and ask them how they think the people in the story might be feeling.
- It can also help to discuss situations that your teenager might see in TV shows with fictional characters. Ask them if they relate to a particular person in the show and why. Then, ask them what other characters might be thinking and feeling. (Hint: The musical “Wicked” is a good example of how we are trained to only see a story from one perspective. This musical tells the story of the wicked witch in the Land of Oz from a very different viewpoint!)
- Modelling is very important. It’s okay to let your teenagers see that you are human too. For example, tell them a story about a time when you might have suspected a friend was in trouble, what you were thinking about at the time and what you did to help.
- Help them to problem-solve different situations. For example, “How would you like to be treated if you were the new girl?”, “If you were being teased, what would you want your friends to do to help?”, or “If you had been away from school for three weeks, what would you like people to say when you came back?”
Finding and Giving Forgiveness Is Challenging
Whether it's a boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse who was unfaithful, a parent who let you down as a child, or a friend who shared something told in confidence, we all must face the question of whether and how to forgive. After you are wronged and the initial wave of emotion has passed, you're presented with a new challenge: Do you forgive the person? By forgiving, you let go of your grievances and judgments and allow yourself to heal. While this may sound good in theory, in practice forgiveness can sometimes feel impossible.
To learn how to forgive, you must first learn what forgiveness is not. Most of us hold at least some misconceptions about forgiveness. Here are some things that forgiving someone doesn't mean:
- Forgiveness doesn't mean you are pardoning or excusing the other person's actions.
- Forgiveness doesn't mean you need to tell the person that he or she is forgiven.
- Forgiveness doesn't mean you shouldn't have any more feelings about the situation.
- Forgiveness doesn't mean there is nothing further to work out in the relationship or that everything is okay now.
- Forgiveness doesn't mean you should forget the incident ever happened.
- Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to continue to include the person in your life.
- ... and forgiveness isn't something you do for the other person.
By forgiving, you are accepting the reality of what happened and finding a way to live in a state of resolution with it. This can be a gradual process—and it doesn't necessarily have to include the person you are forgiving. Forgiveness isn't something you do for the person who wronged you; it's something you do for you.
So if forgiveness is something you do for yourself and if it can help you heal, why is it so hard? There are several reasons: You're filled with thoughts of retribution or revenge; you enjoy feeling superior; you don't know how to resolve the situation; you're addicted to the adrenaline that anger provides; you self-identify as a "victim"; or you're afraid that by forgiving you have to re-connect—or lose your connection—with the other person. These reasons not to forgive can be resolved by becoming more familiar with yourself, with your thoughts and feelings, and with your boundaries and needs.
Now that you know what forgiveness is not and why it's so hard to do, ask yourself: Do I want to forgive? Forgiveness requires feeling willing to forgive. Sometimes you won't, because the hurt went too deep, or because the person was too abusive, or expressed no regret. Do not attempt to forgive someone before you have identified, fully felt, expressed, and released your anger and pain.
If you decide you are willing to forgive, find a good place and time to be alone with your thoughts. Then, try following these four steps to forgive even when it feels impossible:
- Think about the incident that angered you. Accept that it happened. Accept how you felt about it and how it made you react. In order to forgive, you need to acknowledge the reality of what occurred and how you were affected.
- Acknowledge the growth you experienced as a result of what happened. What did it make you learn about yourself, or about your needs and boundaries? Not only did you survive the incident, perhaps you grew from it.
- Now think about the other person. He or she is flawed because allhuman beings are flawed. He or she acted from limited beliefs and a skewed frame of reference because sometimes we all act from our limited beliefs and skewed frames of reference. When you were hurt, the other person was trying to have a need met. What do you think this need was and why did the person go about it in such a hurtful way?
- Finally, decide whether or not you want to tell the other person that you have forgiven him or her. If you decide not to express forgiveness directly, then do it on your own. Say the words, "I forgive you," aloud and then add as much explanation as you feel is merited.
CLICK HERE to view this full article about forgiveness.
College Corner
Mercer University
Mercer University is located in Macon Georgia. With approximately 3,000 undergraduate students, Mercer offers a small university feel in a city with lots of activities and life. The average class size is 22 and they offer 65+ undergraduate majors within 12 different schools of study. Each year they offer approximately $20 million in school supplied financial aid.
Mercer University was founded in 1833 and is a nationally recognized private school that actively seeks out of state applicants. They host a Division 1 athletic program as well as a wide variety of academic and recreational clubs and programs.
They offer degrees in the areas of:
- Liberal Arts
- Business & Economics
- Engineering
- Music
- Education
- Health Professionals
- Nursing
- Law
- Medicine
- Pharmacy
- Theology
- Counseling & Human Services
- Leadership & Administration
- Technology
Career Planning & Spotlight
The Path to Law School
The work of a lawyer is broad in scope as there is no singular occupation designated to the title. A spectrum of options is available, allowing legal professionals to pursue opportunities in corporate, private, government and international settings. In all cases, lawyers are well-trained advisors to their clients, providing support in a variety of legal matters, civil or criminal.
- Earn a Bachelor's Degree- A bachelor’s degree is the minimum educational requirement for admission to law school. No singular field of study is recommended by the American Bar Association at this level. In fact, the ABA notes that students gain admission to law school from nearly every area of study, ranging from political science to mathematics. Common undergraduate majors for prelaw students include English, political science, economics, business, philosophy, and journalism.
- Pass the Law School Admissions Test- Along with an undergraduate degree, the Law School Admission Test (LSAT) is a core component of the law school admissions process. Admissions officers use scores from the LSAT as an objective measure to assess the knowledge and quality of applicants. The examination includes five multiple-choice question sections and an unscored writing sample. The LSAT measures candidates’ skills in critical areas of future legal work, including reading comprehension, information management, analysis and critical thinking, reasoning, and argumentation.
- Apply to Law School- After finishing an undergraduate degree, some students choose to forego further education, while others gain professional experience in other fields prior to enrolling in law school. Regardless of the timing, prospective students should only consider law schools accredited by the American Bar Association. In addition to overall GPA, undergraduate coursework, and LSAT scores, other admission factors may include community service, organizational affiliations, and recommendation letters from educators, alumni or legal professionals. The Law School Admission Council is a great resource for students in the research phase of the law school application process.
- Earn a Juris Doctor Degree- The Juris Doctor (JD) is the nationally recognized degree for practicing law in the United States and is currently offered by 205 ABA-accredited law schools. Prospective students should have knowledge of the faculty, areas of study, tuition, and curriculum prior to applying. There are numerous specialties within legal practice and students should select a program that offers a focused curriculum in their area of interest. For example, students may choose to concentrate in areas of real estate, property, criminal, environmental, tax, or family law. Typically students can complete their Juris Doctor in three years of full-time study.
- Pass the Bar Examination- Most states require lawyers to graduate from an ABA-approved law school and pass the state bar examination prior to qualifying in that state. Although each state sets its own testing guidelines, the bar exam is commonly a two day process: day one is spent completing the Multistate Bar Examination while day two focuses on writing examinations covering various legal matters. In addition to the bar examination, the state board of bar examiners also consider the candidate’s educational background, competence, character, and ability to represent others in legal matters prior to offering full legal licensure.
Scholarships 101
Federal Financial Aid
It is time to request your FSA ID and complete your FAFSA. CLICK HERE for directions. BOTH you and your parent must request a FSA ID prior to completing the FAFSA. FAFSA opens on October 1, 2018 for the 19-20 school year (the year you plan to attend college or other institution).
Florida Bright Futures
Information about eligibility requirements can be found at the Florida Bright Futures website. Be sure to check your specific status at Florida Shines. Your State ID is your social security number with an X at the end. If you have questions about your status, see your School Counselor.
Institutional Financial Aid
Each college or university also has their own sources of financial aid. You need to check with each school individually to see if they have a financial aid application.
Scholarship Databases
There are several online scholarship databases that provide secure links to apply for private scholarships. We recommend that you use one (or many) of these to ensure that your private information is not stolen. Googling scholarships can lead you to scam or phishing sites that target students for identity theft.
http://studentscholarships.org/
http://tuitionfundingsources.com/
http://college-scholarships.com/
http://www.militaryscholar.org/index.html
Private Local Scholarships
As local organizations contact us with scholarship applications, we will post them on the RHS Scholarship Bulletin. Be sure to check it out often for updates. Here is a sample of what is available right now.
JAXSPORTS Charities Award of Excellence Scholarship presented by Wells Fargo
o Each year we give out four $2,500 scholarship to local senior student-athletes for use at any accredited University or College.
o Applicants must maintain a 3.0+ GPA, participate in a sport, be involved in the community, have a letter of recommendation and write an essay.
o The scholarship is officially open and ends Monday, November 12th.
o Applications can be filled out online or a paper form can be downloaded at https://jaxsports.com/scholarship/ Deadline November 12, 2018
Elks Most Valuable Student
High School seniors. Scholarship based on leadership and financial need. Awards range from $4,000 to $50,000 over four years. Go to www.elks.org/scholars/mvs.cfm. Deadline is November 15, 2018.
American Dental Education Association
High school seniors enrolled as a part-time or full-time student in a course of study in dental hygiene, education or public health. Award amounts vary. Go to www.adea.org/studentawards. Deadline November 2018.
Great Value Colleges Community Service Scholarship
High school seniors who show exceptional passion for community service and have demonstrated concrete ways to enhance their education through service. Award is $1,500. Deadline November 2018 & July 2019
Prudential Spirit of Community Awards
High School students- outstanding service to others. Awards range from $1,000 to $5,000. Go to www.prudential.com/community/spirit/awards. Deadline November 2018.
National Center for Women & Information Technology Award
High school women in grades 9-12 who are US citizens and have outstanding aptitude and interest in IT/computing and demonstrated leadership ability. Awards $500 and a computer. Go to www.aspirations.org/participate/high-school. Deadline November 2018.
The Kosove Scholarship at USF
USF Students who are inducted into the Kosove Society receive a scholarship, total to the amount of the estimated cost of attendance. Students are also encouraged and provided funds to participate in academic conferences and fieldwork experiences, as well as study abroad programs. Eligible students are incoming USF freshman, 3.5 undergraduate GPA and 1250 SAT or 28 ACT scores. For more information and to apply go to http://www.usfkosovesociety.org/ Deadline November 30, 2018
Student Resources
SAP (Student Assistance Program) Counselor- Kim Barrera
The Student Assistance Program works with identified adolescents to screen for risk factors that may interfere with a student’s ability to positively cope with life challenges and stressors. The program consists of individual and/or group prevention activities where teens work with an SAP team member 1-4 times a month on a short term basis. SAP does not provide direct therapy services but can assist students with accessing services through Clay Behavioral Health. You can ask any of your teachers to go see Ms. Barrera in Building 5 room 554 or you can talk with your School Counselor to be referred for services.
Military Life Counselor- Atrews Bell
Mr. Bell provides a variety of services and/or referrals for students with a parent/guardian on active duty or retired military. This can include academic assistance, personal counseling, help with transitioning from school to school and much more. See your School Counselor for more details or stop by Mr. Bells office in Building 1 room 140.
Contact Us!
Pre-IB & IB Students
(904) 336- 8912
Lori.feathergill@myoneclay.net
Maria Littlejohn
Student Last Names A-E
(904) 336- 8904
Maria.littlejohn@myoneclay.net
Jackie Welch
Student Last Names F-L
(904) 336- 8903
Jacquelyn. welch@myoneclay.net
Margo Whyte
Student Last Names M-R
(904) 336-8902
Tabbatha Johns
Student Last Names S-Z
(904) 336-8906
Tamara Mansel-Tucker
College & Career Coach
(904) 336-8889