American Mustache Institute
Arrieta love his mustache
Fortunately, Arrieta’s mound mastery featured two other elements that elevate him to the pantheon of American Mustache Institute idols.
First, there’s that unapologetically Bunyan-esque beard that is a worthy accompaniment to Arrieta’s robust mustache. The comparison to Paul Bunyan, the giant lumberjack of American folklore, is fitting beyond the aesthetic parallel: Arrieta reduced the Dodgers’ bats to so many weak twigs in front of a national television audience. He struck out his foes a whopping dozen times, including all three hapless batters who came to the plate in the ninth inning.
On its own, this would propel Arrieta to AMI elite status—just as, nine days earlier, another fully facially haired (if bald) pitcher, the Houston Astros’ Mike Fiers, no-hit the Dodgers and gained the unswerving favor of mustache-and-beard wearers everywhere.
But it’s another element—observable as Arietta met with the media for a post-game press conference—that renders the right-hander’s feat one of Mount Rushmore proportions: he followed it by donning a mustache onesie for the team’s flight back home to Chicago. (It was part of a planned team-bonding moment.)
For those unacquainted with this bit of fashion flair, it’s a jersey bedecked with hundreds of miniature mustaches. An official count of the number of mustaches on the shirt will be forthcoming, but rest assured that it exceeds the number of years (107) since the Cubs last won the World Series.
More post-game celebration, in all of its onesie splendor.
At press time, we are unable to confirm if any of Arrieta’s other 27 starts this year have been punctuated by his rocking the multi-‘stache look in the locker room afterwards.
However, knowing how superstitious baseball players can be, we can be forgiven for speculating that the sartorial shout-out to ‘stache-sporters everywhere will more than likely be back in action for as long as Arrieta continues his winning ways.
And let there be no doubt, this dominant triumph was no fluke for the 29-year-old. With the historic outing against L.A., Arrieta seized the Major League lead in wins with 17 and placed himself squarely in the middle of any discussion about Cy Young Award candidates in the National League.
More importantly, by forging ahead so nobly beyond the no-no, he struck a blow for upper-lip forestry unit growers everywhere. And for that, the AMI offers a heartfelt salute.
The Stache Bash 2014
Saturday, Oct. 25th 2014 at 8-11pm
Richmond, VA, United States
- DO I NEED A MUSTACHE: No, but you’d be a better American for having one. Bring one or pick on up at the door. Everyone attendee gets a free, stick-on lip sweater at the door, as science has proven that both men and women look better with a healthy amount of lower nose foliage. You’re welcome.