Gulag Resort & Getaway

Supporting Stalin Since 1921

Daily Routine

Get a head start on your day by getting up at 5:30.

Eat, and be ready for recreational activities at 5:40. Don't be late!

Make sure you dress warm, the party doesn't stop for anything, not even -40º weather!

March to recreational areas (the guards -- I mean, maids -- have guns, but don't worry, they'll only shoot if you step out of line!) ;)

Stop for lunch, have a delicious and nutritious meal of bread and soup! It's so great, we serve the same thing every day!

March back to the resort when it gets dark.

Roll call, then dinner.

We like to cram as much fun as possible into a day, so be prepared for 10-12 hours of hard labor -- I mean, playing!

Recreational Activities

You'll never be bored with an endless variety of activities to enjoy here at the Gulag Resort & Getaway! From cutting down trees to manual construction, the fun never stops! If you pay extra, you can get our Trustie package, with access to activities such as working in the cafeteria, the bathhouse, or the barber shop.

The fun never stops!

How do I join in???

The Soviet national government has gone to great lengths to make getting to the Gulag Resort & Getaway as easy as possible. All you need to do is speak out against Stalin, and our agents will send you right over, for free!
Disclaimer: The Gulag Resort & Getaway (TM) cannot be held responsible for any death or injury, intentional or unintentional, suffered during your stay. We also cannot guarantee you will be able to return home, and would suggest you set your affairs in order before contacting us.