Week 11 Di$h
BETTER LATE THAN ONE OF GED'S
Quality Takes Time
Which I don't have a lot of. It also takes power, which I obvi have in spades. I was clearly busy this week being a boss and not shutting up. What's your excuse Jed?!
I have definitely not heard enough this week about Richie Incognito uuugh. What's worse is more Incognito gives that blowhard dick Cowherd more shit to crow about. Self-righteous prick, nothing ruins my drive to work worse than his nasally whining.
He's even worse than Dan.
Almost.
I'd like to congratulate Tier II for holding it's own this week. I'd also like to publicly shame Jon and Red for some piss-poor performances. Scraping triple digits is gonna send you guys packing if you're not careful. If Jon gets relegated maybe he'll start winning tho and his life will once again have meaning. #GoreforAP #PENETRADE
Late Night: 133.9
Tier II: 133.9
We can extend a congrats and a hearty 'Fuck You' to Charlie for locking up a playoff spot and ending the throbbing 6 game winning streak of JC.
Sandusky is the only relegate to clinch a playoff spot with a 10-1 record against the other sub-humans. I used to have a turtle. Both these sentences are examples of shit no one cares about.
I have definitely not heard enough this week about Richie Incognito uuugh. What's worse is more Incognito gives that blowhard dick Cowherd more shit to crow about. Self-righteous prick, nothing ruins my drive to work worse than his nasally whining.
He's even worse than Dan.
Almost.
I'd like to congratulate Tier II for holding it's own this week. I'd also like to publicly shame Jon and Red for some piss-poor performances. Scraping triple digits is gonna send you guys packing if you're not careful. If Jon gets relegated maybe he'll start winning tho and his life will once again have meaning. #GoreforAP #PENETRADE
Late Night: 133.9
Tier II: 133.9
We can extend a congrats and a hearty 'Fuck You' to Charlie for locking up a playoff spot and ending the throbbing 6 game winning streak of JC.
Sandusky is the only relegate to clinch a playoff spot with a 10-1 record against the other sub-humans. I used to have a turtle. Both these sentences are examples of shit no one cares about.
For all you d00shes that struggle with wordplay (I'm looking at you Durso) I'm dropping some pixxxx on yew this week.
Cat Sacks Going Fast
In 3 weeks you'll have no more catsacks to look forward to. It's time to act now and have sacks with cat and take the automatic dub before he's relegated. Matt is perilously close to my favorite time of year - eulogy time! While (somehow) still not technically eliminated from playoffs, I'll be greasing my burns and poetry slam skillz this weekend in preparation for the first eulogies of the year next week. Lacey I would pack your bags, you're not getting a rose either.
ZUH?!!?
There are so many reasons this trade makes no sense:
1) Draft Order is not determined
2) Both are on relegation watch 2013
3) It's an odd round, so the same as round 1, meaning the winner is a loser
4) All that could be turned around as after the DOC (and I have a dandy brewing) you get to choose your pick.
SO - Say Pete finishes ahead of Dan in the DOC. He could take the 10th spot and thus automatically get a better 9th round pick. Because 9th round picks are s00pur important. Better to trade them for a WR that scores 0 points #SelfBurns
1) Draft Order is not determined
2) Both are on relegation watch 2013
3) It's an odd round, so the same as round 1, meaning the winner is a loser
4) All that could be turned around as after the DOC (and I have a dandy brewing) you get to choose your pick.
SO - Say Pete finishes ahead of Dan in the DOC. He could take the 10th spot and thus automatically get a better 9th round pick. Because 9th round picks are s00pur important. Better to trade them for a WR that scores 0 points #SelfBurns
Aggressive Women
Shop alone at Nugget at 9pm. That sweatshirt says "Your Box or Mine" and was positioned so that it was readable, def intentionally.
Best caption wins twitter
Best caption wins twitter
Faces in the Crowd
Is that Eli on the wall at Froggy's AKA where everybody knows Pete's name AKA worst bar in America?!
Aw shiz it is.
DIRK DIGGLER: Chris Rainey (really?!) with 34 including 3 TDs. This man is going to have a job next year, will Martin?
WILD CARD: Sandusky produce Matt McGlois led all unowned players with 19. Welcome to the Cats Meow McGloin.
ANTI-NIRVANA: JC. FTL. Lace the face sat Rainey's masterpiece to no avail as she forcefully penetrated Greg anyway. Again. At least she didn't have to drive to SB this time.
DISGLACE FAMIRY: Jon. Because he's bad. And Asian.
And balls.
PERFECTION: 331 possible this weekend gents and twats
qbs Rapelisberger 32 Palmer 28 #JC
wrs Mega 31 Floyd 27 #JC Antonio Brown 26 VJax 22
rbs Rainey 34 McCoy 26 Lynch 23
te Garrett Graham 17
Aw shiz it is.
DIRK DIGGLER: Chris Rainey (really?!) with 34 including 3 TDs. This man is going to have a job next year, will Martin?
WILD CARD: Sandusky produce Matt McGlois led all unowned players with 19. Welcome to the Cats Meow McGloin.
ANTI-NIRVANA: JC. FTL. Lace the face sat Rainey's masterpiece to no avail as she forcefully penetrated Greg anyway. Again. At least she didn't have to drive to SB this time.
DISGLACE FAMIRY: Jon. Because he's bad. And Asian.
And balls.
PERFECTION: 331 possible this weekend gents and twats
qbs Rapelisberger 32 Palmer 28 #JC
wrs Mega 31 Floyd 27 #JC Antonio Brown 26 VJax 22
rbs Rainey 34 McCoy 26 Lynch 23
te Garrett Graham 17
flex te Clay/Walker 15, rb brown/Jennings 21, wr Douglas 20
k Carpenter 16
dst Cinci 28
Palmer and Rapelisberger on top? What is this two thousand and never?!
To the matchups...
HELL STILL HOT: Poor Mattie really had some hope after Thursday. I even tried to warn him of the curse of Thursdays but the little guy just kept pumping those little legs and tried to run uphill. Watching morning games Sunday with his hungover ass was really a treat. Little fella was on the verge of tears and couldn't even drink em away. I just wanted to but him an ice cream cone and tell him it would be OK. Instead I taunted him endlessly. Only winners get high fives Matt. SHOCKINGLY Vinatieri was Matt's best player.
SOFT TUMMY STICKS: You expect some fireworks when two big swinging dicks get together like Charlie and I did this week, but I think we're all disappointed in the flaccid wangs we sloppily flung at each other. I managed to hang 3 zeros up there and still would have beaten 3 teams. Fuck you DeAndre #penetraded. Charlie has to be disappointed too as he had a couple big performances but some lackluster numbers from the rest. lol who cares see you in the playoffs boo :-*.
PEYTON MANNING: What happens when Peyton is human? Oren loses. 12 points from running backs isn't helping either. Check out the big brains on Dan, clawing his way back into the big boys club putting up a sopping wet 170 this week. Montee Ball sighting whaaaaat? Oren good thing you used a bench spot on a kicker instead of a RB or WR that could have scored some points. If Rodgers doesn't come back soon you can kiss the playoffs and a title defense goodbye.
EASY PICKINGS: Give Pete an ugly slam dunk and he'll show you what to do with it. Jon gets sent to relegation alert with not only a loss but an embarrassment of a performance. Gore and SJax? #penetraded. On the bright side TRich totes isn't losing his job to Brown. Big days from an Oakland NFL player (?!) and former Catfish Brown #penetrade propelled Chosen Wang to victory. S00per shocking that the Bengals 4th WR didn't get Pete any points. Reactionary problems.
GENO SMITH: Motherfucker had NEGATIVE ONE POINT. Let that sink in. He played an entire NFL football game as a starting quarterback, resulting in -1 fantasy point. Not like he threw a pick and got hurt, he literally tried his hardest for 60 minutes and managed 100 yards and 3 fucking picks. What an absolute turdmuffin. At least he boosted up his score with runnOOO SNAP no he didn't. Also Lacey won 134-100. Lacey beat projections (for the first time ever maybe?) despite leaving 34% of Greg's scoring on her bench in one player.
SOFT TUMMY STICKS: You expect some fireworks when two big swinging dicks get together like Charlie and I did this week, but I think we're all disappointed in the flaccid wangs we sloppily flung at each other. I managed to hang 3 zeros up there and still would have beaten 3 teams. Fuck you DeAndre #penetraded. Charlie has to be disappointed too as he had a couple big performances but some lackluster numbers from the rest. lol who cares see you in the playoffs boo :-*.
PEYTON MANNING: What happens when Peyton is human? Oren loses. 12 points from running backs isn't helping either. Check out the big brains on Dan, clawing his way back into the big boys club putting up a sopping wet 170 this week. Montee Ball sighting whaaaaat? Oren good thing you used a bench spot on a kicker instead of a RB or WR that could have scored some points. If Rodgers doesn't come back soon you can kiss the playoffs and a title defense goodbye.
EASY PICKINGS: Give Pete an ugly slam dunk and he'll show you what to do with it. Jon gets sent to relegation alert with not only a loss but an embarrassment of a performance. Gore and SJax? #penetraded. On the bright side TRich totes isn't losing his job to Brown. Big days from an Oakland NFL player (?!) and former Catfish Brown #penetrade propelled Chosen Wang to victory. S00per shocking that the Bengals 4th WR didn't get Pete any points. Reactionary problems.
GENO SMITH: Motherfucker had NEGATIVE ONE POINT. Let that sink in. He played an entire NFL football game as a starting quarterback, resulting in -1 fantasy point. Not like he threw a pick and got hurt, he literally tried his hardest for 60 minutes and managed 100 yards and 3 fucking picks. What an absolute turdmuffin. At least he boosted up his score with runnOOO SNAP no he didn't. Also Lacey won 134-100. Lacey beat projections (for the first time ever maybe?) despite leaving 34% of Greg's scoring on her bench in one player.
I don't play for the name on the back of the jersey
Just gotta get pucks deep. Get their defencemen turned around.
Win the battles for loose pucks. 100 percent.
Coach put together a good gameplan, we just had to stay disciplined. Patty made a great play I just happened to be in the right place at the right time.
We play in front of the best fans in the game, I've always loved playing here. 100 percent.
Win the battles for loose pucks. 100 percent.
Coach put together a good gameplan, we just had to stay disciplined. Patty made a great play I just happened to be in the right place at the right time.
We play in front of the best fans in the game, I've always loved playing here. 100 percent.
Pozishunz
Brought to you this week by GO FUCK YOURSELF.
QB
1) Jiz 472 2) HD 466 3) FYRB 427 4) KKK 415 5) TDS 360 6) JC 343 7) Red 332 8) DCS 320 9) K4t 310 10) Ugh 304
WR
1) JC 484 2) KKK 455 3) RED 430 4) DCS 421 5) TDS 410 6) HD and Ugh 349 8) Jiz 334 9) cat 327 10) Bush 243
RB
1) TDS 417 2) ugh 376 3) jc 361 4) HD 357 5) kkk 310 6) cat 282 7) Red 257 8) bush 243 9) Jiz 22810) DCS 213
TE
1) fyrb 158 2) red 122 3) kat 100 4) tds 96 5) JC 91 6) kkk 83 7) dcs 74 8) hd 72 9) jiz 54 10) Ugh 50
QB
1) Jiz 472 2) HD 466 3) FYRB 427 4) KKK 415 5) TDS 360 6) JC 343 7) Red 332 8) DCS 320 9) K4t 310 10) Ugh 304
WR
1) JC 484 2) KKK 455 3) RED 430 4) DCS 421 5) TDS 410 6) HD and Ugh 349 8) Jiz 334 9) cat 327 10) Bush 243
RB
1) TDS 417 2) ugh 376 3) jc 361 4) HD 357 5) kkk 310 6) cat 282 7) Red 257 8) bush 243 9) Jiz 22810) DCS 213
TE
1) fyrb 158 2) red 122 3) kat 100 4) tds 96 5) JC 91 6) kkk 83 7) dcs 74 8) hd 72 9) jiz 54 10) Ugh 50
Predixxxxxx
Introducing 'The LICC Bad Decision Matchup of the Week' sponsored by Jaeger Bombz Why do I like this matchup? Both teams have so much to fight for, Pete needs a win to keep playoff hopes alive and Brown needs a win to keep Tier I hopes alive. There's no doubt that a text war will ensue, Pete on his beach in Maui, and Matt holed up in the cat cradle spooning Joey and watching the injuries pile up. Either way I'm looking forward to mopping up tears and shawtz hearing this one unfold.
DAWG. IT'S THURSDAY: Someone is gonna get their feelings hurt this weekend, and it's gonna get awkward. Hmmm...wish I would have looked at Pete's absolute turd doglet matchups before I did pick'em. Apparently everyone else also thinks the fantasy gods will smite Catty no matter what. I really don't like anyone on Pete's roster this week, but he did have a terrible Thursday...Matty on the other hand has NOICE qb matchups, albeit terrible qbs. Dez should be an absolute monster, but the smotings are coming Matt, you failed to pay homage to the gods and your year-long torment continues. Shenkin 122-103
WHO NEEDS IT?: Not just a creepy line from pr0n anymore. Dan needs a win to sniff playoffs and stave off relegation. Charlie needs nothing. I had Charlie picked well before Thursday, and him doing worse only cemented that. If you need more proof of the Thursday curse see Meow,Cats: w11y2013. How hungry do you think Welker is? SOOO hungry, watch him drop 20. I like Krapernick slangin against the Washington professional football team's minor league defense. Charles continues drawpin kawkz. 148-133 Chuckie
UCSB Ro-Hock C/O 2004: I was always better, and I continue to be. Despite setting a season low at WR I like my RBs each pushing 20 in a run parade at Lambeau this weekend. AP kiiiinda dominates the pack. My QB matchups are s00pur unforch but Greg's starting McCown @StL. Greg's RBs are obvi an abortion but I am not excited for Cruz to salsa up in my facial. I think I squeak it out 135-130. How is it that I am projected for fewer points yet a favorite? Yahoo ftl. Also perfect 5-0 in pickem, thanks guys :-*
WHAT'S THAT THING ABOUT THURSDAYS?: Nobody likes em. Jon finally got a decent showing from Sjax which bodes poorly for the Jiz, but I still like O-town to shove his menorah up the Mongorian. Murray and team Denver drive Jiz to the dub while Jon has the WORST matchups up and down. Gore will get his but otherwise total abortion. Your guys' WRs wouldn't even start on the catfish, and we're hurtin for some WR squirtin. Jiz 132-120
DAWG. IT'S THURSDAY: Someone is gonna get their feelings hurt this weekend, and it's gonna get awkward. Hmmm...wish I would have looked at Pete's absolute turd doglet matchups before I did pick'em. Apparently everyone else also thinks the fantasy gods will smite Catty no matter what. I really don't like anyone on Pete's roster this week, but he did have a terrible Thursday...Matty on the other hand has NOICE qb matchups, albeit terrible qbs. Dez should be an absolute monster, but the smotings are coming Matt, you failed to pay homage to the gods and your year-long torment continues. Shenkin 122-103
WHO NEEDS IT?: Not just a creepy line from pr0n anymore. Dan needs a win to sniff playoffs and stave off relegation. Charlie needs nothing. I had Charlie picked well before Thursday, and him doing worse only cemented that. If you need more proof of the Thursday curse see Meow,Cats: w11y2013. How hungry do you think Welker is? SOOO hungry, watch him drop 20. I like Krapernick slangin against the Washington professional football team's minor league defense. Charles continues drawpin kawkz. 148-133 Chuckie
UCSB Ro-Hock C/O 2004: I was always better, and I continue to be. Despite setting a season low at WR I like my RBs each pushing 20 in a run parade at Lambeau this weekend. AP kiiiinda dominates the pack. My QB matchups are s00pur unforch but Greg's starting McCown @StL. Greg's RBs are obvi an abortion but I am not excited for Cruz to salsa up in my facial. I think I squeak it out 135-130. How is it that I am projected for fewer points yet a favorite? Yahoo ftl. Also perfect 5-0 in pickem, thanks guys :-*
WHAT'S THAT THING ABOUT THURSDAYS?: Nobody likes em. Jon finally got a decent showing from Sjax which bodes poorly for the Jiz, but I still like O-town to shove his menorah up the Mongorian. Murray and team Denver drive Jiz to the dub while Jon has the WORST matchups up and down. Gore will get his but otherwise total abortion. Your guys' WRs wouldn't even start on the catfish, and we're hurtin for some WR squirtin. Jiz 132-120