Coffee with the Counselor
A.C.E.S. November 2020 Newsletter
November's Newsletter Topic-CYBERBULLYING
November Newsletter-Cyberbullying
Email: leah.juarros@twinriversusd.org
Website: https://sites.google.com/twinriversusd.org/counseling-with-ms-j/health-3
Location: Working from Home!
Phone: (916) 585-4570
NEW Zoom Office Hours for November
Students can join my zoom during asynchronous learning time if they need to talk or want to check in.
Monday-Friday from 11:30-1:30
Join Zoom Meeting link:
Meeting ID: 937 6297 9242
A.C.E.S. {Academics~Career & College~Emotional Support~Strategies & Resources}
Strategies & Resources~Helping Parents Be Digitally Aware
What is Cyberbullying: Stopbullying.gov defines cyberbullying as "sending, posting, or sharing negative, harmful, false, or mean content about someone else. It can include sharing personal or private information about someone else causing embarrassment or humiliation". They also conclude that cyberbullying "takes place over digital devices like cell phones, computers, and tablets. Cyberbullying can occur through SMS, Text, and apps, or online in social media, forums, or gaming where people can view, participate in, or share content" and that "some cyberbullying crosses the line into unlawful or criminal behavior".
How to Protect Your Student:
- Monitor! Monitor! Monitor!-You more than likely pay for the phone and you are the parent. There is nothing wrong with you making sure that your student is safe and digitally responsible. Setting this expectation up with your student at the beginning so they know is much different than you facebook stalking them! Monitor their social media by letting them know if they have a facebook account, they need to add you as a friend. If they have an Instagram account, they need to allow you to follow them. If they have other social media such as Snapchat, Twitter, and even Tik Tok, you should be able to see what they post and how others reply.
- Practice Cyber Safety-Teach them to only friend, chat, and allow others to follow them if they ACTUALLY know them. Be sure your student understands the difference between a friend, acquaintance (a friend of a friend) and a stranger.
- Set Up Rules For Responsibility & Accountablility-You and your family should come up with expectations around cell phone and computer use. Develop rules that make students responsible for their words and actions online as well as procedures that keep student accountable, such as a screen/internet curfew or where they are allowed to be on their phone or laptops.
Types of Cyberbullying
TOPIC OF THE MONTH-Cyberbullying (No time to read? Scroll below the article to watch a video)
How to Recognize the Signs of Cyberbullying and What To Do
Many of the warning signs that cyberbullying is occurring happen around a child’s use of their device. Some of the warning signs that a child may be involved in cyberbullying are:
- Noticeable increases or decreases in device use, including texting.
- Increase in the amount of texts or alerts student receives, especially at one time.
- A student exhibits emotional responses (laughter, anger, upset) to what is happening on their device.
- A student hides their screen or device when others are near, and avoids discussion about what they are doing on their device.
- Social media accounts are shut down or new ones appear.
- A student starts to avoid social situations, even those that were enjoyed in the past.
- A student becomes withdrawn or depressed, or loses interest in people and activities.
Because cyberbullying happens online, responding to it requires different approaches. If you think that a child is involved in cyberbullying, there are several things you can do:
- Talk – Ask questions to learn what is happening, how it started, and who is involved.
- Document – Keep a record of what is happening and where. Take screenshots of harmful posts or content if possible. Most laws and policies note that bullying is a repeated behavior, so records help to document it.
- Report – Most social media platforms and schools have clear policies and reporting processes. If a classmate is cyberbullying, report it the school by contacting myself, administration, or a teacher. You can also contact app or social media platforms to report offensive content and have it removed. If a child has received physical threats, or if a potential crime or illegal behavior is occurring, report it to the police. Click here for Twin Rivers School District Policy on Bullying https://www.twinriversusd.org/documents/Students%20and%20Families/Student%20Services/504%20Accommodations/BP_5131.2_Bullying.pdf
- Support – Peers, mentors, and trusted adults can sometimes intervene publicly to positively influence a situation where negative or hurtful content posts about a child. Public Intervention can include posting positive comments about the person targeted with bullying to try to shift the conversation in a positive direction. Stick to positive comments regarding the student being bullied. Refrain from negative, threatening, or disciplinarian comments. Leave that to the school, district, and/or authorities.
Excerpts from Stopbullying.gov Sept. 8, 2017
It's Not Cyberbullying But It's Still Hurting Your Student
Ghosting: When friends cut off online contact and stop responding, they're ghosting.
How to handle it-Being ignored is tough. Try to empathize and validate your student's feelings. If they're willing, encourage them to try a face-to-face conversation with the ghoster. You could also suggest your student stop trying to get replies; the ghosters may come around, but if not, your student is free to move on.
Fake accounts: Sometimes kids will create fake accounts in someone else's name and use that account to stir up trouble or hurt that person. In most cases, there's no way to trace who created the account, and even if it's shut down, the person can just create another one.
How to handle it-Dealing with fake accounts can feel like a game of whack-a-mole. But a kid who's targeted should actively defend themselves by blocking and reporting it. Kids should also let friends know what's happening to set the record straight -- and take some of the fun out of it for the person creating the accounts.
Exclusion: A kid may be scrolling through their feed and stop cold at a picture of all their friends together -- without them. Usually, these kinds of photos aren't intentional slights. But sometimes they are.
How to handle it-Responding online probably won't get the best results. Encourage your student to approach the OP (original poster) face-to-face and explain that the photos hurt their feelings. It's best if your student can use "I" statements, like "I felt really hurt when I saw that picture … " (not "I think you're a jerk"). It's more about teaching your student to advocate for themselves to feel better.
Griefing: When an player of an online multiplayer game kills your student's character on purpose, steals their game loot, and harasses them in chat throughout the game or repeatedly when they are on the game together.
How to handle it-Before your student starts playing a game with anonymous strangers, make sure they know how to report and block players who are being cruel on purpose. Tell your student not to get into an argument over chat, since it probably won't resolve anything and could escalate the aggression. Certain games tend to have more toxic behavior than others, so encourage your student to try a different game where the community is known to be respectful and the moderators don't tolerate trash-talking.
Excerpts from Common Sense Media, by Christine Elgersma 1/13/2020
Resources for the Month
1). Report to the school directly either to Administration, the counselor, or a teacher
2). File a Uniform Compliant with the District Office
You can click the button to go to the reporting site
Need a Referral for Counseling or Mental Health Resources?
Care Solace is a 24/7 web-based tool that makes it easier for students, families and staff to connect with mental healthcare resources and providers in their communities. Care Solace can offer information with therapy, online therapy, hospitalization, family counseling, and other services in minutes. The Care Concierge team can be contacted by phone, email, and video chat:
- Phone: (888) 515-0595
- Website: caresolace.com/TRUSD
- Email: WeServe@CareSolace.org