The Puffington Post
Your Worst Nightmare | Edition 17 | April 18, 2016
What about Amazon?
Doing this is all in the DETAILS.
“We’re only as strong as our weakest link, and our weakest link is delivery time.” - Raf
- FLOOD THE FLOOR with drivers to guarantee 30 minutes or less. If you don't have enough go to your local pizzeria and steal their drivers.
Remind the customers why we're special.
- Tell them/have drivers tell them to follow us on Snapchat @gopuff, where we give away $10 vouchers almost every day!
- Remember Newbie Bags in every newbie order.
- Remember "free order over $49" cards in every order.
On WEDNESDAY, every order should go out with a pack including: a Sour Patch Watermelon, Mad Lib greeting card, pencil and magnet. If you DO NOT have these items, let Marketing know ASAP! #420puffit
- KEEP IT CLEAN
- If you see almost expired products, tell MARKETING & we can do a flash sale/giveaway so we don't waste product & get a buzz on social media. Betches love free sh*t.
RESEARCH BEFORE YOUR SHIFT
Take it back to your college days and come prepared (that's an oxymoron): be aware of parades, protests, events, food truck festivals, a zebra that escaped the zoo, and anything else that may interrupt delivery time.
FOLLOW UP IMMEDIATELY IF A SHIPMENT COMES IN THAT IS INCORRECT/DAMAGED
No punchline here because M O N E Y, people.
This is a celebrity. He ordered goPuff. What do we do with celebrities who order goPuff? We give them a bunch of free stuff, deliver it, chat them up, ask for a photo and don't act weird at all. Then we put it on social media, look super fly & connected, and laugh about the fact that we all secretly know that a professional NBA player just bought $50 worth of rolling papers.
Hometown: Tirana, Albania
Age: 24 (for four more days)
Position: First Lady In The Company...does this count?
It's your birthday week. How are you going to celebrate?
How are you going to celebrate at goPuff?
Working harder every day.
Working hard like what we're doing right now?
What's your favorite part about your job/working at goPuff?
Talking to everyone and getting their feedback. People judge me - she's so tough, she's annoying, she's trying to be a mom - but after talking to me they understand my point and my purpose. And I kind of have a bitch face, so it's okay, I get it.
I don't know. I don't like to think like that. I'm happy and lucky to be here and who knows, I'll take everything as it comes. But goPuff is lucky to have me as well, and everyone should feel like that about themselves.
To increase sales.
You can switch places with one goPuff employee for the day. Who is it?
Raf because he doesn't answer the phone. I'm envious of that.
What's your motto?
What's something most people wouldn't know about you?
That I paint.
The Albanian language: fighting or just really loud shouting?
It's either we're excited or usually trying to prove a point. You'll know when we're fighting because our faces turn red.
What's the best thing since sliced bread?
You can write one question to be asked in this interview. What is it?
You didn't mention minions.
What about minions?
I don't know, I wish to say something about minions...they're my life.
Complete this sentence. I wish:
I don't wish that we were all minions. I wish that everyone each had a minion. You can't be mad at a minion.
Are we all goPuff minions?
The minions have one leader so, no. We're a team.