The Puffington Post

Your Worst Nightmare | Edition 17 | April 18, 2016

What about Amazon?

Amazon - aka the rich asshole your mom remarried after her divorce - did a hundred billion in the last quarter. Still, they receive the same two-star reviews detailing the same minor issues with communication we run into. To be the superior service we MUST solve all of those issues now, while we can, while we're still at the more localized level.

Doing this is all in the DETAILS.

“We’re only as strong as our weakest link, and our weakest link is delivery time.” - Raf
  • FLOOD THE FLOOR with drivers to guarantee 30 minutes or less. If you don't have enough go to your local pizzeria and steal their drivers.

Remind the customers why we're special.

  • Tell them/have drivers tell them to follow us on Snapchat @gopuff, where we give away $10 vouchers almost every day!
Be consistent.
  • Remember Newbie Bags in every newbie order.
  • Remember "free order over $49" cards in every order.

On WEDNESDAY, every order should go out with a pack including: a Sour Patch Watermelon, Mad Lib greeting card, pencil and magnet. If you DO NOT have these items, let Marketing know ASAP! #420puffit

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“A good warehouse is like having a net worth - it’s easy to make money but it’s hard to maintain money.” - Raf
  • If you see almost expired products, tell MARKETING & we can do a flash sale/giveaway so we don't waste product & get a buzz on social media. Betches love free sh*t.


Take it back to your college days and come prepared (that's an oxymoron): be aware of parades, protests, events, food truck festivals, a zebra that escaped the zoo, and anything else that may interrupt delivery time.


No punchline here because M O N E Y, people.

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Hometown: Tirana, Albania
Age: 24 (for four more days)

Position: First Lady In The Company...does this count?

It's your birthday week. How are you going to celebrate?
Top secret.

How are you going to celebrate at goPuff?
Working harder every day.

Working hard like what we're doing right now?
"Hardly working."

What's your favorite part about your job/working at goPuff?
Talking to everyone and getting their feedback. People judge me - she's so tough, she's annoying, she's trying to be a mom - but after talking to me they understand my point and my purpose. And I kind of have a bitch face, so it's okay, I get it.

If you weren't working at goPuff, what would you be doing?
I don't know. I don't like to think like that. I'm happy and lucky to be here and who knows, I'll take everything as it comes. But goPuff is lucky to have me as well, and everyone should feel like that about themselves.

goPuff goal?
To increase sales.

You can switch places with one goPuff employee for the day. Who is it?
Raf because he doesn't answer the phone. I'm envious of that.

What's your motto?
Hello goPuffers!

What's something most people wouldn't know about you?
That I paint.

The Albanian language: fighting or just really loud shouting?
It's either we're excited or usually trying to prove a point. You'll know when we're fighting because our faces turn red.

What's the best thing since sliced bread?

Since what?

You can write one question to be asked in this interview. What is it?

You didn't mention minions.

What about minions?
I don't know, I wish to say something about minions...they're my life.

Complete this sentence. I wish:
I don't wish that we were all minions. I wish that everyone each had a minion. You can't be mad at a minion.

Are we all goPuff minions?
The minions have one leader so, no. We're a team.