Tips for Success
at Drop Off and Pickup
It’s all about health and nutrition. Making sure that your child has had plenty of sleep through the night and starting him or her off with a healthy breakfast will help set the tone for a healthful, positive day. Preschoolers still need a lot of sleep. Set an earlier bed-time on school nights and stick to it – no matter what. The more sleep your child gets, the better prepared he or she will be for the morning ahead.
Create a Routine. The best way to set a child up for a successful day and happier drop off, is to prepare the night before. Lay out clothes for the morning, set out non-perishable breakfast items and utensils the evening before. Get all jackets, shoes, lunchbox, etc. ready and set them in the same spot each evening. Set up the evening and morning routine to be the same and predictable each day for your preschooler – they thrive on predictability. Basic needs such as sleep, food, dressing and using the bathroom are all learned best when unattached from emotions.
Employ your child to get him or herself ready quickly in the morning and then allow them to draw a picture, read their favorite book, do a puzzle or carry something for you, so they are encouraged to get ready quickly. This will allow you a few less stressed out minutes to finish getting ready for your day and takes the drama out of the morning routine.
Get him/her excited about the school day. On the way to school, try singing your preschooler’s favorite circle time song. Talk about his or her favorite things to do at school (swinging on the swings, painting at the easel, making a collage, playing with friends). Stay upbeat and don’t grill her with questions. If you sense the conversation is becoming stressful or negative, discuss a recent field trip or fond memory of something that your child did at school. Whatever you do, don’t put any ideas in her head or compare her with the other students.
Trust the teacher. Once you arrive at school, the drop of should be super quick and totally uneventful. Drop off is not the best time to discuss your child’s progress or development with the teacher. Allow your child to start the day with the teacher directing the drop off. When parents linger at drop off, it makes the child apprehensive and causes unnecessary stress. Teachers have had lots of experience with children saying goodbye and know how to easily and quickly re-direct a child. When a parent hangs around too long, it actually takes longer for the child to calm down.
Drop offs and pickups need to be kid focused. Make sure to make drop off and pick up all about the child, not about your busy day ahead, the stressful night you all had the night before or the upcoming weekend. Your child’s day should begin on a positive note just about him or her. Save conversations with her teacher for a specific email or phone call.
Come up with a better “Goodbye” plan. Tell your child that instead of crying at “goodbye”, maybe you could try a high-five, low-five, back of the hand kiss, a hip bump, a blown kiss, “The Kissing Hand”, etc. Turn the tears into a positive symbol of “till we meet again”. It’s a much more fun way to accomplish the same goal. Please keep in mind that crying is ok – it is an acceptable form of communication, especially for children who are not yet able to express themselves clearly. In most cases, the tears are gone as soon as you can’t see your child anymore – yes, they are that sophisticated!
Remain calm and quiet and swift. When entering the school, your volume, tone and energy should match the calm, easy pace of the room. Nothing revs up a calm child like a boisterous, over-stressed parent with their own agenda. Consider what is best for all of the children – the children that are already there as well as your own. Don’t give your child the impression you will hang around and wait for them to calm down. If you’re having trouble letting go, ask the teacher for help. They are masters at finding something most any child finds irresistible to take his or her mind off your leaving.
Respect the classroom. “Goodbye” and “Hello” happen at the cubby or outside the school or classrooms. Remember that the classroom belongs to the children and the teachers. The classroom has been carefully prepared and set up for the day’s activities or for the next day. While your child may be very compelled to show off something in the classroom, it isn’t appropriate to just walk right in. There may be class in session, it can make a child not want to leave or you may see something that your child is working on that is designed to be a surprise. If you really want to check out a classroom, try making an appointment with your child’s teacher or set up a conference. Remember, the classroom is for the students and the teachers.
Stay positive! Your child reads your mood and will imitate your feelings and behavior. Don’t let your child know you’re worried or waiting for trouble at drop-off. Instead, appear completely confident that your child will separate easily — say good-bye cheerfully and matter-of-factly. Then walk out without a backward glance (although tough, it lets your child know that you are confident and comfortable about the program). This will put her mind at ease as well. What a gift you can give your child, to be positive, encouraging and supportive!
Pickups should be swift and easy too. Remember that your child has now been away from you for many hours and all he or she really wants to do is to reconnect and go home with you. Make the pickup totally child focused. Capitalize on their strong desire to see you and spend time with you. Other than a brief check-in about the day, pickup is also not the best time to discuss development with your child’s teacher. If your child stalls in leaving, remind him or her that the teacher still has other children and a classroom to prepare for going home. Encourage your child to quickly clean up and get going, so the rest of the group can continue their transition and so that you and your child can get started on the rest of your day/evening together.
Preschoolers love school and having a special place designed just for them. If we adults work together, we can make sure they feel safe, secure, healthy and happy about coming to school!