The Maycomb Minute
Making every minute modern!
The curse of the Dust Bowl is hopefully at its peak. The governor ain’t sure if the state of Alabama can handle much more! All the crops are dyin’ an food seems to becoming even more scarce. Yesserday the dust seemed to cover up an area the size of Texas! It was bad, real, real bad! Luckily, though, the storm was much worse up in the northern part of Alabama than it was here. Mr. Jenkins from Durgenburg County said that “it was so windy out my tractor was a flyin’ ‘bout 50 feet from my barn.” That wind mustve been real rough out there in Durgenburg County. How the heck are you gonna get your crops a planted if you aint go a tractor? If you are havin’ issues keepin’ your tractor in the barn, you best tie it up or it will be a rough plantin’ n harvestin season this year.
The wind wasn’t the only problem with the dust storm yesserday. There were ton of dust flyin around all over. Accordin to the record, it was just as dark in Higgles County as it was windy in Durgenburg County. Miss Hastings telegraphed her Aunty Hanna yesserday sayin’ that the sun was completely gone, and it was only noon! “The chickens,” she said, “were goin’ to the roost, and it was barely lunchtime!” You best hope that those chickens of yours are still a hatchin eggs Miss Hastings. Praise be to God that that dang gon dust storm ends quickly. Mr. Boates here in our own Maycomb County said that if the storm don’t quit soon, we are gonna have ourselves a real big problem. He said that “the average amount of crops that are actually edible after harvestin’ season has dramaticly decreased by fity-two percent within the past five years.” So start saverin’ food people, cause if it don’t get any better this year, we gonna have ourselves a real rough winter.
Two Men Escape Maycomb County Prison
As it has been previously reported, Tom Robinson’s attempted escape out of the Maycomb County Prison ended in tragic failure. Robinson attempted to climb the prison fence on March 13, 1935. Guards fired shots into the air intended to scare Robinson into climbing back down. Robinson, however, continued to climb, and that decision cost him his life.
Other inmates in the Maycomb County Prison seem to have been inspired by Robinson’s courageous attempt at escaping, although they all know climbing the twenty foot tall fence is not the way to do it. Digging an underground tunnel is!
Security officers at the prison noticed two inmates, who just so happened to be cell mates, never reported back from their exercise hour on April 12, 1935. The two men, named George Stonewall and Jackson Tide, had always caused trouble for the officers in the prison. However, officers never suspected these two men capable of actually escaping from prison.
After noticing the two men were missing, officers immediately began searching for them. Although Stonewall and Tide were nowhere to be found, the officers found something of valueo outside; they found a hole. The hole, leading to an underground tunnel, was covered by a picnic table the inmates used for lunch. Officers believe that Stonewall and Tide used their bare hands to construct the tunnel. The tunnel was only wide enough to fit one person, and it was only about 8 feet long, reaching to the opposite side of the fence. Officers believe that Stonewall and Tide had been digging the tunnel and planning their escape ever since Robinson’s attempted escape. Unfortunately the security officers were not keen enough to catch these two inmates as well.
As of today, Stonewall and Tide are out on the loose. Heck Tate is currently on the run looking for the two criminals. Officer Tate says, “The investigation and tracking of Stonewall and Tide is going good. We believe they headed to the west side of Maycomb County according to a couple different eye witnesses. If anyone catches glimpse of either of these two men, please contact the Maycomb Police Department.”
Finch's Flighty Fiasco - Contributor View
The recent events that have been consuming the town in the past week have caused a disaster that cannot be tamed. The town itself is practically feeding at the mouth for any piece of news that they can get their sticky and unpolished hands on. All of this preposterousness has been caused by the ‘oh so righteous’ Atticus Finch-a man who is manufactured to appear dapper and well-bred, however his name only reflects what he is, that is, a small, nondescript bird that is feckless in nature.
Finch comes off as a good schmuck, attempting to do what he thinks is right, however he is actually just riling the town up to protect his refined reputation. For a man who seems to have it all, one can just take a gander at his children. Why, the one runs around in overalls for God’s sake and the other one is just like his father. They are always off harassing someone; however their favorite targets in particular are Mrs. Dubose and Boo Radley (A soul who is beyond tortured and unnerved).
In addition to these trivial truths, Finch also spends his time not only defending blacks in the courtroom, but also physically protecting them from harm’s way. Just the other evening, he spent the night outside of the jail reading his newspaper and guarding Tom Robinson-the maniacal rapist who plagues our jail. Not only has he been playing “Guardian Angel” at night, but he has been playing “Savior” during the day. Every action he makes, every breath he takes causes the town to itch with fury or awe and because of these distinct reactions, the community seems to be going to hell in a hand basket.
If Atticus knows what’s good for him, he’d stay away from all of this unacceptable behavior and learn to keep his nose out of other people’s business-especially the business of a bunch of black laborers.
Foster Finch’s Fight for Freedom - Editorial View
As we all know, Atticus Finch has agreed to defend the innocent Tom Robison. Rumor has it that Robinson “raped” Miss Mayella Ewell on November 21st of 1934 . However, anyone with a clear mind would be able to tell that the Ewell story is completely fake. So why on earth is it such a big deal to people considering that the Ewells just want to have their five minutes of fame? Nevertheless, a majority of this town has just gone completely crazy. In order to help clean up and deal with all of this craziness, saintly Atticus Finch has stepped up to not only be a role model to all citizens of Maycomb County, but also to stop the destructive and vile Bob and Mayella Ewell.
When given the opportunity to speak with Mr. Finch on the matter on how he felt the outcome of the case would be, he said, “I’m not sure that we will be able to secure a win the first time. There are too many people here in Maycomb that are biased against people whom they feel either don’t belong or are inferior to them. Sadly enough, the blacks fall under the latter. It is my belief that the jury will be more inclined to rationalize with the testimonies of Mr. Bob Ewell and Miss Mayella Finch rather than see the truth in the fact that Mr. Tom Robinson is indeed innocent. Nevertheless, I do feel confident that if we were to repeal this case and take it to the state level, the jury there will not be quite as biased; they won’t look at Robinson as just a black man who will lie to be set free. I believe that they will be more likely to put aside the problem of his race that is such a prominent problem here in Macomb and judge him based on evidence alone.”
The problem of racism is unquestionably prominent here in Maycomb, but it is definitely probable that Atticus Finch will win with only the first trial; he is brave, clever, strategic, and most definitely convincing. Only time will tell, but all educated people know that Atticus Finch is the only man for the job. Atticus Finch will be the town hero, the person that will change the future of Maycomb. With the town’s blessing, good luck Atticus!
Fresh Dirt Puddin'
To make the classic dirt pudding by Calpurnia first you are required to have the following: a big bowl, a wooden spoon for mixing, dirt from the ground, wiggly worms, and hunger appetite for dirt pudding. Next you need to go outside and grab at least a good 3 handfuls of the muddiest dirt possible. A place you could definitely find dirt is at the house of the Ewells. If this task cannot be accomplished ask Dill because he is very talented in this area. Next grab the first slimiest, dirtiest, nastiest worms you can find. Combine the dirt and slimy worms into the same bowl and stir with wooden spoon until mixed well. Then serve and enjoy the messy but delicious dirt pudding.
Cook Up Some Cornbread!
To make some appetizing cornbread first you need to git the fire nice and steamy. Make sure Scout, Jem, and Dill are far far away from the kitchen. This will prevent lots and lots of crashes and possible spills. Next put butter in a pan and set aside to melt. From there, sift the flour, corn meal, baking powder and salt altogether in one big mixin’ bowl. Next mix ém all up with the buttermilk, melted butter and eggs. Add all of them dry ingredients together and blend. Pour the batter into pan and bake until just rite. When you feel it´s golden brown, then serve up some delightful cornbread. Don’t ferget to wash out them pans that got all dirtied up while you was a’cookin’.
Character Feature Piece
Arthur "Boo" Radley
After years of remaining disconnected with society for countless years, Mr. Arthur “Boo” Radley has finally stepped foot outside of his house! Some people in Maycomb may seem a little uneasy about Boo being out and about, but, thankfully, there is no reason to be concerned.
The old myth about Boo is well known. Supposedly, while in high school, Boo and a couple of his friends got into a little trouble with the law. As punishment, the boys were all sent to military school; but not Boo. Boo’s father did not want to see his son being sent away to military school because he truly believed Boo was not a real criminal. According to the myth, Old Mr. Radley kept his son locked in the house for years on end. Boo was never allowed to leave. As suspected and just as anyone else would, Boo became senile. Boo became so senile he even stabbed his own father with a pair scissors while clipping coupons from a magazine. As rumor has it, he went right back to cutting up the magazine after his gruesome deed was complete. Nowadays, neighbors and children have always been slightly scared by the sight of the old Radley House.
One March night a few weeks ago Maycomb found out that none of this story had been true. Boo is not a scary man, and he is definitely not capable of stabbing his own father or anyone else for the matter of fact. Boo is in fact the exact opposite of what society labeled him as.
On April 1, 1934, Boo heard some unusual screaming outside of his front door. When he peered outside of his house he caught glimpse of what seemed to be two children fighting for their lives against very large man. This man, turned out to Bob Ewell. Bob was after the two children, named Scout and Jem, of Atticus Finch, the opposing lawyer of his court case against Tom Robinson. Boo spent no time trying to figure out why the very large man was after the two children. He rushed to the scene and somehow managed to save both of their lives.
From this event, it is obvious that Boo is far from a mean and scary man. The little town of Maycomb, Alabama now knows Mr. Arthur Radley as a kind and courageous gentleman. Throughout the past couple weeks, Boo has become accustomed to living life out in the real world. Boo revealed that he actually has very big dreams of becoming an artist. He is extremely good at carving and sculpting. Boo has shown some of his fantastic work to the town and also reveals big plans. “I am going to open up a studio and shop for my artwork,” says Boo, “that way I can continue doing what I love while also earning money to support myself and my older brother Nathan, who I live with.” The town of Maycomb is eager to see how his dream plays out. Some of Boo’s artwork is shown below.
Dear Mrs. Dubose
Dear Mrs. Dubose,
I have been conflicted all week and I must say, I am in quite the pickle. Things just haven’t been going well lately. My heart beats like a crazy chicken all day from the stress it’s causing me. I made a mistake back yonder and now it is haunting me like the devil. I had a friend who I took advantage of and now I am afraid we will never be friends again. My friend was my only friend (besides the cats) and now I’ve ruined everything we ever had together. When I took advantage of him, I laid the blame on him too and now I am scared to death to tell the truth. Things have reached a bad point and I’m afraid of what to do ‘bout it. I want everything to go back to normal, but I have no ‘idear how.
Muddled & Embarrassed
Dear Muddled & Embarrassed,
What in the Sam heck were you thinking? Are you stupid? Why, you only have one friend, and if you screwed things up by taking advantage of ‘em, you don’t deserve to have none no more. And furthermore, that is probably the reason you don’t have any other friends. And I bet if you did, they would leave you scrambling in the dust no matter what you did to ‘em. If I were you, I’d get on with my pitiful life because there is no turning back now. Not only did you take advantage of your friend, but you made a right mess of it. If you were my friend I would be downright aggervated and I’d dump you like a sack of moldy potatoes. Good luck with being lonely for the rest of your life.