Warner Update
Making a difference, one person at a time
When Communication Stings (Oct. 11 - 16)
Early in each school year I asked families to complete forms that gave me insight into their child. Some of the questions asked about allergies, split home situations, hobbies, and interests. Yet one of the most critical questions I had on the form was, "How often would you like to be contacted?" The possible answers ranged from, daily, weekly, bi-weekly, or as needed. Each year a smattering of families would ask for daily communication. Some times this was email, but most of the time it was a phone call or a face-to-face conversation at pick-up time.
On the surface this sounds like a strong partnership between parent and teacher.
This is where I went wrong.
When you communicate each day with someone you must first remember these things:
1. Everything is FRESH in your mind. The minor problems are accentuated. The temper tantrums are a bigger deal. Any disrespect or problem makes the day feel like a failure.
2. Sharing double the positives to each negative is not a bad ratio, but the parent leaves with a focus on the negative.
3. You (as the teacher) have the best of intentions, but the student is someone's Pride and Joy. Sharing daily problems makes it more and more likely that the parent dreads the daily communication.
I quickly discovered, and in-turn learned, that I had to be very strategic in the message (the narrative) I was sharing. Was it really worth it to share a minor episode on the playground? Would I share that with other families? Was it going to change anything if I shared a minor issues?
I learned that sharing negatives made it more difficult to build a trusting relationship with my student. Sometimes I needed the parent to be fully aware, and sometimes I needed to build trust and handle the situation at school.
Next week you have parent/teacher conferences. This is a stressful time for both educators and families. Additionally, fifteen minutes is often never enough time. But let me share a few ideas that may help with conferences.
- People should be aware of the ratio of positive and negative comments made. The ideal proportion should be close to 5.6 to 1—positives for each negative. (Research by Harvard Business Review)
- Use repetition - If provided with a list, people best remember the first item and the last item on the list. Therefore, if something is particularly important, say it twice: once at the beginning and once at the end.
Show that you are listening - Communication is dynamic. Unless you show that you are listening, people will lose confidence in whatever it is they are saying.
Be Warm - convey body language that invites people into a conversation.
As I reflect on my interactions over the years I can unequivocally say, developing a trusting partnership with families always led to a successful year with students. However, when a parent/teacher relationship was fractured it often times led to stress and doubt.
Next week is an opportunity to develop the foundation of a partnership. I have all the confidence in each of you to do this with honesty and kindness.
Next Week At A Glance:
Monday, October 14th: Parent/Teacher Conference Week at Warner
Monday, October 14th: Meals provided by Warner Families for conferences
Monday, October 14th: Book Fair Week at Warner
Monday, October 14th: Board Work Session 6pm
Tuesday, October 15th: 8am ELA Literacy Meeting at Admin
Tuesday, October 15th: 9am Admin Meeting
Wednesday, October 16th: K-2 Assembly at 8:45am
Wednesday, October 16th: Heather Holshoe at Warner working with grades 3-5 on Math Data Dialogues.
- 8:30 - 9:25 with Mr. Lenhart
- 9:30 - 10:25 with Mrs. Brugger & Mrs. Moline
- 10:30 - 11:25 with Mrs. Gibbs & Mrs. Oliver
Wednesday, October 16th: Conference Week if your grade level is focused on PLC work a great focus this week is:
- Discussing Q1 Summative Assessment
- How confident are you that students have learned the essential standards?
- How will that impact your planning?
- How will that impact WIN time?
Wednesday, October 16th: Meals provided by Warner families for conferences
Thursday, October 17th: Warner TEAM Meeting 8:30am
Thursday, October 17th: StoryFest at Warner
- 9:30am KDG in Cafeteria for StoryFest
- 10:30am 1st Grade in Cafeteria for StoryFest
- 1pm 2nd Grade (tentatively) in gym for StoryFest (if inclement weather we will move to classroom)
Thursday, October 17th: First Day for CPFCU at Warner
Friday, October 18th: No Staff Meeting (busy week for all)
* If you have completed a TAT form please contact Ben or Angela to schedule a TAT meeting
* Looking for Classroom PBIS ideas, supports and strategies. Sign up for this opportunity at our own JCISD.