Men Abuse

Controversial Topic - Mateo Sifuentes

Background

Male abuse is a problem that is constantly overlooked. Female abuse treatment is the norm, while men victims are brushed aside. They are made fun of, mistreated, and unsupported. Society only gives light to the females, even though males make up 40% of the violence. It's time for this inequality to stop.

Should Male Abuse Should Be Recognized More?

It should be as recognized as much as female abuse, because it is considered a joke for all the victims, and men cannot get any help for their trauma no matter where they go.

Assaulted Men

Can men really, legally defend themselves against women?

A man asked "If a woman slaps me, how should I hit her? Should I punch her in the face, the stomach, or somewhere else?" In response; "You hit and kick and scream exactly as hard as you have to to guarantee your own safety. I am actually pretty shocked that so many people have forgotten that as much as 40% of domestic violence cases involve male victimization."

I chose this quote because, to me, it's the right answer. Any person should expect the one they are being physically violent towards will fight back, no matter what gender. If you are being abused or attacked, you have every right to defend yourself from whoever is the violator.


"Dominic Lee, 23, from Eversleigh Street, Preston, punched the woman twice in the face after she bit his finger when he tried to break up the brawl." The judge says to the boxer, “You should feel bitterly ashamed of yourself, whatever the provocation, for punching a woman. Men who punch women are generally known as cowards.You are very fortunate that you didn’t do much more damage than you did." "He handed Lee a nine-month sentence suspended for 18 months with supervision."

I chose this because it's true. Society expects men to be dominant because they are stereotypically shown to be bigger and more confident than women, like men are supposed to always lead the charge and make the decisions in the relationship. And when men lean submissively, they are treated as low-lifes or are walked all over.

Do people turn a blind eye to men abuse?

"If you dig through the literature a bit it becomes fairly clear that socially, domestic violence is seen as primarily a women's problem. The framework we've evolved for addressing domestic abuse have grown out of women's movements in general, and the tools we have to address the problem reflect that. We've developed excellent systems to help women with a problem that 100 years ago, wasn't seen as a problem. Socially, it's time to apply those lessons learned to male victims as well."

Women are legally and socially treated better than how men are when it comes to abuse. People ignore men who are abused, simply because they think it's only a women's problem. This way of thinking needs to change.


"The Premier of Queensland, Annastacia Palaszczuk, was one of very few public figures to acknowledge male victims of domestic violence, even stating that more needs to be done to support them." "In an attempt to pull focus back to women, Karyn Walsh, CEO of Micah projects stated ‘the overwhelming issue is the attitude men have to women as their possessions, as something they can control and punish. It is about their attitude." Not only is this statement a generalised and, at best, unsubstantiated idea -or accusation- of how ‘men’ think of women in our society today, but it is considerably off-topic, as Walsh shifts focus from male victims to male perpetrators."

This is the perfect representation of why male abuse is being ignored. Powerful women like her are trying to make men out to be terrible, violent monsters who are always the perpetrators- "never victims"- and other women follow her example, simply because they're scared.

Why do people treat men being abused as a a joke?

"Because men are supposed to be tough or something. I don't find violence of any kind funny. Yes, women can be as dangerous as men in modern society. I've sat through rape counseling center conferences where this discussion has come up, but men don't report because they "aren't supposed to cry" and are told by society to always be strong. Well, we all know that is a crock. It doesn't matter who is holding that gun to your head, male or female, sexual assault is just that, an assault, no matter how it is accomplished whether it be by penile penetration of a woman's vagina or a broomstick up a man's rectum. And I'm not trying to be funny here, I'm serious. "In recent years some women have been convicted of raping men; this is classed as either rape or sexual assault. In some jurisdictions rape may also be committed by assailants using objects, rather than their own body parts, against the sexual organs of their target.""

Constant joking over the years has led to assaulted men just being laughingstocks. Popular jokes springing up, and people who don't think they're a problem only make it worse.


"I’m sure a meme that joked about a woman ending up with a welt on her forehead from her husband’s ring would be reported as offensive. I know a comedian who joked about a woman getting raped would be damned all over the Internet; just ask Tosh. Violence against women isn’t funny, but violence against men is hilarious. Seriously?" "When you make a joke or laugh about male victims, you send a message to victims that you’re not entirely trustworthy. You are literally laughing at their pain. So next time you’re contemplating making fun of male victims, or laughing when someone else makes fun of them, ask yourself if that’s really the message you want to send. Maybe it’s not funny after all."

Statistics show much more men are raped/assaulted than one might think. Sexual assault is not a joke or laughing matter, for either side.

Why do people believe a woman can't force something upon a man?

'"The sister said in her letter that her brother stitched a cut on his arm himself, with a thread and needle, because his wife had cut him and he didn't want to go to the hospital," says Brown. "Can you imagine being so embarrassed that your wife hits you that you do that?'"

I chose this because it represents that even victims themselves are too embarrassed to do something about it. They feel they will be mocked and/or discriminated against for letting a "small" and "frail" woman do this to him.


"A suburban woman was accused of giving a man she didn't know a ride in River North and then forcing him at gunpoint to have sex with her friend in the back seat. The man climbed into the backseat, where an unidentified woman made him take off his clothes. The man was then forced to have sex with the woman, even though he begged her to stop, Pillsbury said. The man saw "an opportunity to flee" when a pair of headlights came in to view. He ran out of the car wearing only a T-shirt, she said."

A man can easily just wave a weapon around and threaten someone to have sex- something a woman can do, also. Except the man is the one who is stereotyped for this behavior.

Why are men expected to be hard and dominant in the relationship?

"Kraft-Ebing believed that it made evolutionary sense that a man be dominant and a woman, passive. Men were to fight off rival suitors and other dangers, and to procreate. Women were to contribute to this process by voluntarily subordinating to men. Kraft-Ebing easily extrapolated from this that men tended towards the aggressive and sadistic, and women towards the passive and masochistic. This stance is somewhat in tune with both Freud and Deustch who believed that females were innately masochistic and passive. According to Kahn, times have changed as women are now somewhat freer to assert their dominance over men in all phases of life, but not without a struggle. The author claimed that many societies are having an extremely hard time allowing for this exchange of power and control to happen… particularly in a sexual context. In her article, “Putting a dominatrix in her place: The representation and regulation of female dom/male sub sexuality,” Kahn demonstrated that “social anxiety” sets in when women act or are even perceived to be more dominant and powerful than men… and men passive and weak. To her point, she compared the dynamics of the famous Canadian legal ordeal of Terri-jean Bedford, a dominatrix wrongly accused of prostitution, to the way dominatrices are treated in film. Kahn reported that the police and judge became the dominant forces and abusively relegated Bedford to a submissive. In the films Kahn used for comparison, strong white males eventually conquered, tamed and domesticated the dominatrices. The objective: to curb social anxiety by restoring men to their rightful position of power over women."

People expect men to be dominant and the perpetrators because, all through out time, they've been the "aggressive" and "sadistic" ones. What people don't realize is that times change, and with it so does society. We're not living in the 17th century, people.


"So my problem here is, this question is framed in the idea that there's something wrong with a submissive relationship in the first place."

Society expects men to be dominant because they are stereotypically shown to be bigger and more confident than women, like men are supposed to always lead the charge and make the decisions in the relationship. And when men lean submissively, they are treated as low-lifes or are walked all over.

CItations

Davis, Jon. "How Do I Defend Myself against a Woman after She Hits Me?"How to Defend Myself against a Woman after She Hits Me. N.p., n.d. Web. 17 May 2016.


Meyer, Erin. "Woman Forces Man to Have Sex with Her Friend at Gunpoint, Prosecutors Say." DNAinfo Chicago. N.p., n.d. Web. 17 May 2016.


Smiler, Andrew. "6 Ways Jokes about Violence Against Men Harms Male Victims -." The Good Men Project. N.p., 23 Apr. 2014. Web. 17 May 2016.

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