Johnny Dorset is back
By Geena Porcaro and Gabe Chalk
Johnny is back to killin’ kittens and slappin’ knees. The troublemaker of the town was returned to the Dorset household around mid-afternoon yesterday by two mystery men. A civilian saw the whole thing go down. He stated that the 2 kidnappers payed Ebenezer Dorset $250 to take Johnny back, then in the blink of an eye, they were gone. 3 reporters from our crew went to Mr. Dorset’s house and asked him if he was worried about his son. Quickly he said “I was not worried about him even for a minute, I knew that whoever took him would bring him back within a week. Honestly it was peaceful without Johnny here.” The neighbors were not happy about little Johnny’s return, nor was anyone else in our town. “One man even offered to pay to have me send him away, but I said no,” stated Ebenezer Dorset. We asked the whereabouts of the two mystery men who had kidnapped Johnny, and he pointed towards the bumpy road where they had hurried off to. Once we found em’ they agreed to tell us what happened as long as they were not to be arrested. The tall man said Johnny liked the cave and didn’t want to go home. He also said that every time he would be bad, they would tell him that they were going to take him home. The other man said that most of the time it was Johnny that held them hostage! Although no one wants to admit it, we are all glad that the troublemaker, Johnny Dorset, was not harmed and returned safely. I, for one, believe that after the experience the two men had with Johnny, they will never kidnap a kid again.