Fantasy Football Returns!

A Shaky Week 1 Leaves Most Owners Wondering...WHAT THE FUCK?

We're Back!

Welcome back to another exciting year of fantasy football. Just wanted to run by a few things before continuing with the newsletter.


By now you've heard that the buy in is $40 winner takes all. There have been talks of an offseason change to $50 for next year, and then dividing the funds between the first three places.


Also, there is a possibility of commissioning a trophy that can be passed around throughout the league. While the previous winners will not be able to have the trophy, their names will be etched on the trophy. A suggested donation of $5-$15 is requested so we can commission this trophy.


Lastly, lets make it a great year as always! Looking forward to another exciting year!

Week 1 Anal-ysis

Week One started off with an interesting Thursday night battle between last years super bowl teams Denver & Carolina.


Andre (editors note: this is still fucking hilarious that's his name) started off nicely with 35+ points on Thursday, however, his quick start was not enough. With big performances from Winston and D'Angelo Williams, BigDickRicks took the W this week, taking out the reigning champs. BigDickRicks had the largest amount of points this week with 125 and change.


The Females bested CBlackGangGreen (making everyone in and out of the league pleased) this week, after CBlack LOUDLY placed CJ Anderson on the bench, along with 25.9 points. M. Christine clearly wasn't the answer this week as Brees, Cooks & Hyde put up huge numbers. They look forward to a matchup with RohannesDove, a one-time champion, next week.


Speaking of the one-time champ, RohannesDove put up low numbers, but it was still enough to beat The Commish's bottom bitch, Ertz Wind and Fire. With no one player making a huge impact, a big team effort this week got them the win. Ertz , relying on Rogers' arm and the legs of David Johnson, fell short as the rest of her team didn't show up.


In a lackluster game, which nobody is talking about, the ManningHAMmers took out Taco Time. {editors note: do i actually have to analyze this game. fuck.} The ManningHAMmers relied heavily on the run game, while Taco Time just couldn't get much going. The final score, a whopping 85.32-75.86. Woohoo...


Lastly, and certainly least, The Commish put up an eye gouging 70.74 as nothing seemed to be going right for anyone...at all. On the complete opposite side of the spectrum, the one-time champ GMenSBChamps put up huge numbers, getting major help from Antonio Brown, who stopped smoking blunts long enough to play football.


In close, Week One was certainly an interesting. Amazing for some, and utter dog shit for others. The waiver's were busy this week, here are some noteable pickups this week;


Mike Wallace WR Baltimore Ravens - The Commish

Davante Adams WR Green Bay Packers - Ertz Wind and Fire

Eric Ebron TE Detroit Lions - The ManningHAMmers


Week Two will surely not disappoint, or maybe it will, only time will tell.


-Commish

Week 2 Matchups

The Commish vs Ertz Wind and Fire


Andre vs GMenSBChamps


Females vs RohannesDove


The ManningHAMmers vs BigDickRicks


Taco Time vs CBlackGangGreen