Love and Advice from Dr. Unicorns

Anissa Ballou

My Love Triangle

Dear Dr. Unicorns,

I have read your column for years, but I never thought I would be writing to you. I've tried going to meetings of " Women who love to much" but i'm still hurting, so I thought maybe you could help. My problem is that the guy I love doesn't want to be in the same room with me and he also loves my best friend. My best friend always gets what ever she wants. All I ever asked for is just one guy. And my best friend boy friend loves me! just not cool at all. I'm stuck in a love triangle. I love Demetruis. Demetruis loves Hermia. Lysander loves me. Hermia loves Lysander. Just too confusing. PLEASE HELP!!!!!

Sincerely,

Confused Love

My Advice to "Confused Love"

Dear Confused Love,

You are apartenly in a love crisis. And also a love triangle. You like Demetruis. Demetruis like Hermia. Lysander likes you. Hermia likes Lysander. I've been thinking a lot about your situation and I have thought about some ideas that may help you out.

First of all, you should just run away and avoid Lysander. But Lysander would probably miss you a lot. On the good side, you will be away from Lysander and better off WITHOUT Lysander.

Another thing is I can give you a Love Potion. You just put some in your hot tea and drink up. Instantly you and Demetruis will fall in love at first sight. Warning your love with each other is due to the potion, not due to your true feelings. The potion will have you and Demetruis living happily ever after.

Those are the only two things I could think of for you. I really hope this could help you out with your problems. Just warning about the Love Potion, the love isn't "True". So good luck. And I hope this will help you.

Sincerely,

Dr. Unicorns