For Sale - Saturn V Model Rocket

Asking Price: $10,000.99

Available for purchase now.

For only $10,000.99, you too can own a [somewhat small] piece of history. This fully accurate rocket even stages! Along with having huge engines, and fully chemically propelled, the rocket even has a payload fairing, and LES. Now, I know what you're thinking.. why so expensive?! Because it's huge! HUGE! The thing takes up almost half of the conveyor belt at the factory. We literally have to roll it onto the delivery trucks.

You, the customers, are expected to be obsequious to our company. This company will supersede any company you ever thought highly of before.

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FOR SALE NOW, 10,000.99!


Of course, with our giant product, there was some mutatis mutandis we had to do. Such as making it user friendly.. that was a whole terra incognita. Ratiocination helped a lot, with reviews from over friendly customers, too. Some of them were inanimate, barely helping at all. The new engines, designed to be easier to attach, were made in an interstice. Engineers struggled to stay sedate during the miniaturization process, also. Lots of retorts came to the PR department, after news of explosions in the testing area got leaked to the public. However, we are in a state of nihilism when it comes to the news. Many epigrams were made to the engineering department about that. With all of that, it has been given obiter dictums by the critics assigned to review it. The PR department head had to condescend himself to describe the product at the showing, coming up with big words to make the public happy. Even I, the CEO, have to abase myself often to talk to you puny citizens. If I used pathetic fallacy, I would relate the news to rocks, almost useless.

guaranteed to be awesome

Apogee Rocket Systems

"Infamous for using bribes/other bad advertising strategies. Don't trust them."

Uh, I mean..

"Amazing! Buy it now!"

-Every Critic Ever!

"Awesome!" - Chuck Norris

Call within the next 200 years for 150% on! This deal only lasts for the next 200 years, call quick!

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