Assyrian Daily

We Love To Kill! (BUT WE LOVE MUSIC, WE LOVE MUSIC!)

BREAKING NEWS!: CUNEIFORM CHANGED AGAIN?

Today the King officially changed the cuneiform for the third time. Scribes everywhere in the city-state will be forgetting their knowledge about the old cuneiform, now learning the new version. Some are out raged. Some are ecstatic! Lets see what the scribes have to say about this.

" I loved the old version (cuneiform) It was less of a challenge and more enjoyable." ~ Funesinian ,63.

" I am in rage, now I have to take school once more!" ~ Cuneiplic, 16.

" This is much better, even easier with our teachers so confused, they can't whip us!" ~ Assyfin , 9.





Arts & Crafts Time!

Recently the new piece of art we called The Lion Hunter has officially been carved and put into the palace. This new sculpture at the main doors of the city. A other brand new sculpture that Montasummey Craigy has created will be released soon will be put into some city-states. Montasummey is building up a empire business with his art work. Montasummey featured his artwork in one of King Hammurabi's favorite ziggurats.

Here Comes Woney Shoo-Shoo

Here comes Woney Shoo-Shoo! This new section in our paper is about the life of Smana Lhompson (AKA: Woney Shoo-Shoo). This new edition is the spin off of DAN ( Daily Assyrian Newspaper's) " Toddlers in Assyrian War Helmets". This segment takes you through the life of the Lhompson family. The Lhompson family includes; Gama,34 years old; Sour Wolf, 40 years; Manna, 17 (gave birth to Maitlyn a few months ago); 15 year old Nessica; and 12 year old Mauyren. Finally, the star,... SAMANA! This new segment will be taking you through a day in the life of a Lhompson. ( WARNING SOME OTHER PEOPLE HAVE STOLEN THE IDEA OF TODDLERS IN ASSYRIAN WAR HELMETS AND PUT IT IN THERE NEWS PAPER. THE NAME OF THE COMPANEY THAT STOLE THE IDEA IS INCLOSEING THEIR NAME.)

Sound of Music

The first Lyre was made yesterday for the king. The beautiful sound was intriguing to the king, so his music player was taught how to play it, and then played it at the Kings big party last night. The guests were very soothed by the delicate sound of the Lyre. The average price of a Lyre in 88 bushels of wheat. Delicate strings and wood are carefully put in place. This is a very good explanation for why this instrument is so expensive.

Massu Lackay's Lyre Playing

Wednesday, Nov. 27th, 8:15-10pm

Holy Ziggurat

Come to Massu's beautiful Lyre playing! Join us on a spiritual tour throught he beauty of the Lyre. Space is limited!

Putters Prostitution!

Putter made a new prostitution business, including some illegal women selling. In Assyria, right now, women selling is illegal. Most men are thrilled with this idea, but on the other side, women are very outraged. Lets take it to our people.

" I AM VERY UPSET AT THIS! MY DAUGHTER WAS STOLEN AND TAKEN TO A WOMEN BIDDING. SHE WAS SOLD TO A 72 YEAR OLD MAN! I AM VERY UPSET!" Eyrling 21.

" MY DAUGHTER IS NO PROSTITUTE! " Lakawana, 17.

" Men are dirty self centered pigs these days. They should not be taking advantage of young girls! I do not have a daughter my self, but from what I have seen, being a girl these days is truly horrifying!" Qutar, 35

" I love this idea! Women are nothing. Ishtar, my favorite god, listened to my prayers. He gave us men what we deserve! Women will answer our requests with no question. AND THATS IT!" Tata 27


Mesopotamia Unit Intro

Scribe School

Scribes every where are blossoming. There are many soon-to-be scribes. Budget cuts have been happening so we need your help. Go to your towns ziggurat, and donate any amount of money that you can. Doing this deed will help our people, and if you do this, the gods will bless you! You want to be blessed right? So get your bottom over there and donate some minas!