The Three Blind Mice Go to Court

By. Lauren Smith

The Three Blind Mice Go to Court

After another long day of narrowly evading sinister cats, the infamous three blind mice found themselves in the shadiest part of Uptown Charlotte. The three were looking forward to a long rest—it isn’t easy to avoid predators with just four senses! The Big mouse told the two others—Middle and Little--that he’d take the first shift while the other two rested. Middle and Little enthusiastically agreed. Thirty minutes into Big’s shift, there was a rustling in a nearby doorway. Big jumped, but quickly collected himself so as not to attract any unwanted attention for any possible enemy. But before Big had any chance to take up guard, a raccoon jumped out of the shadows, scurrying past Big as though he did something wrong. Big quickly ran to wake up Middle and Little in case of any eminent danger. Big soon saw that Middle had been hurt and had already woken Little up. Soon after the mess, Police entered the scene and arrested the Three Blind Mice. Befuddled and aware of their Miranda rights, none of the Three Blind Mice said anything on their trip to the Mecklenburg County Jail.

That first night in jail was hard on the three, especially Little. Little had no idea what was going on. Middle said they had been arrested, then explained that meant the police took them into custody. The next day, the three went to the Mecklenburg County Courthouse where they met the Public Defender, a human lawyer who would defend the mice in criminal court on the government’s budget. The Public Defendant informed the three that they were going to be on trial for a robbery that happened the night before in the building they slept next to. The defender informed Big that the three would be tried at the same time since mice are animals and multiple animals are tried at once. The lawyer also informed Big that bail would be posted at one slice of cheese. Big thought: “One slice of cheese for bail? I can get my family out of jail for the duration of the trial if I give just one meager slice of cheese?” Big enthusiastically told the lawyer he would pay bail. The lawyer told Big that he’d eventually get the cheese back if he cooperated in trial. The lawyer also told Big that the three were being charged with larceny, a misdemeanor or a minor crime as opposed to a felony, a major crime. This was more good news because misdemeanors entail shorter penalties and prison terms.

The next day, the three mice went to the courthouse for the pre-trial. They were arraigned: formally requested to appear before court to answer for their criminal charges. Little asked Middle why they stood behind a stand that said Defendant. Middle explained that that was because they were the accused: their fates would be decided by the ruling in the trial. Middle stared down the Prosecution sitting at the table opposite the mice. Middle could not imagine why the government would be accusing the three of such a crime. The Grand Jury sat in front of the room, ready to decide if there was enough evidence for the trial to even take place. The 24 member jury seemed convinced the trial would take place; humans were always ready to take mice off the streets. After the Judge (overseer of the trial) entered, the procedure began. The Public Defendant looked dismal: the Prosecutor was unwilling to do any reasonable plea bargaining. The defendant thought: “this whole trial could be avoided if the Prosecutor would offer a reasonable compromise. My mice could just plead guilty for an easy sentence.” Nevertheless, the Judge proceeded, ordering the Prosecution to read the indictment. The three mice listened to that formal accusation of the crime.

The following week, the three mice sat before a 12-member Petit Jury, the group that would decide whether or not the three mice were guilty. In other words, the Petit Jury would decide the Verdict of the trial. The first witness (a person or animal who sees an event take place and is used to testify in court) went to the stand; he was a dog named Buster. Buster was mad about being forced by the government to show up to the trial as a relevant witness. That’s right: Buster was subpoenaed. Buster said that he wasn’t paying too much attention during all of the hullabaloo, but was pretty sure the two mice were sleeping as one stood guard. The Prosecution asked if the Big Mouse was looking for anything. The Public Defendant quickly objected saying, “The Mice are blind. One who is blind does not simply see.” The Prosecutor sat down, embarrassed at her over“sight”.

The Prosecutor then called her own witness, an infamously conniving cat named Macavity. Macavity didn’t witness the trial, but was always ready to get mice in sticky situations. Macavity took the oath and proceeded to lie through his teeth while on the stand UNDER OATH. Macavity was committing perjury. Macavity said that he overheard the mice scheming to rob the building. Macavity even said he watched Middle run out and cut himself on a scrap of metal as he ran to hide the contraband. After that testimony, the Prosecutor grinned, sure that the mice would be convicted or declared guilty of their offense. Unfortunately for the Prosecutor, the Jury saw right through Macavity’s lies and declared the mice “not guilty.” The Three Blind Mice were Acquitted!

Big was very relieved. He shook the Public Defendant’s hand and then invited him to lunch—on the Three Blind Mice. Unfortunately, the Public Defendant had to decline, saying he had to work on an appeal, an application to a higher court for a decision to be reversed. And the Three Blind Mice lived happily ever after. That is, as happily as blind mice can be.