Fun

Kayla Benitez

Fun

“Fun”

It’ll be fun they said

When I agreed to go to the party

I told mom it’s only a couple friends

Were just going to watch a movie

No big deal

I’ll get home in one piece

You’re not such a drag after all they said

When I consumed the whiskey down my throat

Like it was a glass of water

The alcohol lit a flame that traveled to my liver

It also burned away the walls that I have that protect my morals and me

1 shot down

My throat is scolding

2 shots down

I let my hair down

3 shots down

I’m dancing with some stranger

This is fun

4 shots down

I can’t stop laughing

5 shots down

I let my guard down

The football quarter back is saying hi

He uses his “charm” to take me to his room

It felt like a nightmare that lasted hours

Every time I closed my eyes

It became a blurry mess

When he threw me onto the bed

His hands clashed with my face

I could faintly hear his belt buckle clasp being taken off

I flew into a trap I told myself I never would be in

I drank too much

Now I cant think

Now I can’t move

Now I’m helpless

I made it back home mom

My body is here

But my mind is in hell

My heart is in a million pieces

I’m sorry I lied

I just wanted to have fun

I became that girl that people talk about the Monday

When you come back from the crazy weekend

They’ll say I’m easy

They’ll say I’m a mess

Because I left my guard down and couldn’t stop

Some stupid boy when he took a chance in getting lucky

Because I took too many shots

Because I wanted to “fit in’’

Because they said it’ll be fun