LIFE IN THE MIDDLE -DECEMBER-
A Mental Health and Wellness Newsletter from CMS Counselors
Important Dates:
December 4-6: Elective Schedule Change Requests Accepted ELECTRONIC ONLY - https://www.southlakecarroll.edu/Page/2467
December 7: Pep Rally 3:00 p.m.
December 18 -21: Semester Exam Schedule -https://www.southlakecarroll.edu/site/Default.aspx?PageID=2848
December 24- January 4: Winter Break
January 7: Teacher Workday/No School For Students
January 8: 2nd Semester begins!
MIDDLE SCHOOL FRIENDSHIPS
Excerpted from : The Ups and Downs of Middle School Friendships, by Jennifer O'Donnell https://www.verywellfamily.com/the-ups-and-downs-of-middle-school-friendships-3288397?print
By the time a child reaches middle school, friendships have become as important to development as family life. Middle school students crave acceptance from their peers and look to friends to help them navigate through adolescence and everything that comes with it. Friendships make everything more fun and can make even bad days much better.
But friendships at this point in a child's development can also be quite challenging. Below are tips to help you prepare your tween for the ups and downs of friendships in the middle school years. Knowing how friendships may change, come to an end or strengthen can help your tween through the friendship challenges he or she will eventually face.
The Good
It's only natural for tweens to make their friends a priority and, at this point in their development, they may prefer the company of their friends over the company of their parents and other family members. This should not be a concern to you, but rather something to enjoy. Be sure you don't make your child feel guilty for placing such importance on his friendships, it's a normal part of the development and only means that your child is growing his circle of trust to include others outside of the family. Children need a strong network of friends at this age to help deal with life and to have fun while growing up.
Many long-lasting friendships may not only survive middle school, but they may actually grow stronger as shared experiences and common interests are discovered. Even friends who attend different schools or are a grade apart in school may still have enough in common to enjoy one another's company. Strong friendships at the age can have a positive impact on your tween's life. The advantages can include:
- Enjoying time together after school
- Having someone to talk to or confide in
- Getting another point of view when dealing with a problem
- Sharing common interests
- Dealing with school problems (such as a hard teacher or a school bully) together
- Keeping one another out of trouble
- Having someone stick up for you
- Knowing you're not going it all alone
The Bad
As important as friendships are in middle school, that doesn't mean they will always be easy. Many middle schoolers find that their friendships may change during the middle school years as friends drift apart or form other friendships. Middle school students may no longer see old friends as they pursue different interests or passions, or if students attend different schools they may no longer have the opportunity to connect with old friends.
But challenges don't end there. Even strong friendships can be put on trial during the middle school years. Friends may lose their tempers, disappoint one another, or hurt one another's feelings. No friendship is perfect, but many can withstand occasional flare-ups and even learn from them. Encourage your tween to work through conflicts. Saying, "I'm sorry" can mean a lot at this age, and helps children understand that they are responsible for the way they treat others. Strong friendships may weaken from time to time, but if an effort is made to work through conflict, these friendships will likely survive.
The Truth About Real Friends
- Real friends support one another
- Real friends say "I'm sorry"
- Real friends are not jealous
- Real friends can be trusted
- Real friends show respect
- Real friends listen to one another
- Real friends make an effort
- Real friends may act like "jerks" some of the time, but they eventually come around
KINDNESS
Talking to middle schoolers can be tricky if you want more than one word answers, but fortunately lessons in kindness can come in different ways. In addition to modeling the kind of behavior you expect and making yourself available, it’s also important to highlight positive role models that tweens and teens identify with as well as kindness and emotional well-being.
4 WAYS PARENTS CAN TEACH KINDNESS TO MIDDLE SCHOOLERS
1. SEEK OPPORTUNITIES TO BE KIND AND SHARE KINDNESS
"How we treat one another impacts how we feel about ourselves, how we feel about each other, and how healthy our communities are. That’s why we believe inspiring people to be kind is the key to building a more vibrant and productive world. We understand this is no easy task and we can’t do it alone.” —Born This Way Foundation on Kindness
There are many volunteer oportunities in our community that can inspire students to be kind and support emotional wellness. Take a few minutes to talk to your child about their interest and look for ways they can volunteer.
2. MODEL THE KIND OF BEHAVIOR YOU EXPECT
Just as younger kids learn from our actions, our middle schoolers look to us to provide examples of how to act in every situation whether we're in the car, at home or out in public. For example, keeping our road rage to ourselves isn't easy at times, but the way we act in the car towards other motorists sets an example for our drivers-to-be who are paying attention to our words and actions.
3. MAKE YOURSELF AVAILABLE
We think our middle schoolers are grown up and independent and for the most part, they are but there are other times when they need us, and they let us know in the most subtle ways. It can be difficult to pick up on these cues when we’re looking at our phone or preoccupied with the endless mental to-do list, so find times in your day to make yourself available to your tween or teen to check in.
You’ll probably get a single word answer when you ask them how they’re doing, but when you talk to them about something going on in their world, it could spark an unexpected conversation. Making yourself available without being too intrusive is key. Prying is not ok, but asking a question in just the right way can be the key to getting your kids talking about issues that matter to them.
4. HIGHLIGHT POSITIVE ROLE MODELS
Look for opportunities to share with your child postitive role models who are demonstrating kindness. It doesn't have to be a famous movie star, it might be a grandparent, an older sibling, a friend, a church member. Besides sharing about the kindness you have observed, it is a great opportunity to have a conversation with your child!
How can my child meet with their counselor?
1. Teacher Referral
2. Parent Referral
3. Self Referral
We meet with students for many reasons:
1. Academic - Performance, struggles, test taking strategies, study skills etc.
2. Friendship/ Peer/Social Concerns
3. Personal Concerns
4. Behavioral Concerns
5. Stress/Anxiety
6. Responsive Services - meeting their immediate needs and concerns
If you have a concern and you would like for a counselor to meet with your child, please contact your child's grade level counselor via email or phone.
Thank you!
CMS Counseling Staff
8th Grade Counselor
Paula Lynn
7th Grade Counselor
Paula.lynn@southlakecarroll.edu
Website: http://cmscounselor.edublogs.org/
Phone: 817.949.5400
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CMSDragonsCounselors/