Jacob Bravenec

Hopeless Lover

Dear Dr.Love,

I have read your column for years, but I never thought I would be writing to you. I've tried going to meetings of "Women who love too much"but I'm still hurting, so I thought maybe you could help me. My problem is that the guy I love doesn't want to be in the same room as me.I'm like spaniel that keeps following him, even when he says bad stuff to me.He loves my best friend that doesn't even like him. Why can't he just pay attention to me?I need help!


Loving Stalker Girl

Advise from Dr.Love


Dear loving stalker girl,

I read your letter about your love problems .They sound pretty bad.I think I can fix it.

The first solution would be find that weird magical flower and squirt the juice on your lover's eyes when he's sleeping.It's that simple.The con would be he would keep following you and It wouldn't be true love.

The second solution I came up with was make Theseus arrange a marriage with you and your lover.It's easy:He's the Duke.The con would be he wouldn't want to arrange a marriage and he'll get mad at you.

Well good luck on getting your lover.Remember you don't have to rush .Just let it flow